Men vs. Women: The Illness Edition
She-pulls her aching body out of bed at the crack of dawn to prepare the children for school.
He-whines "I'm sick!", rolls over and goes back to sleep.
She-drags herself to work to meet a deadline.
He-whines “I’m sick!” and drags himself to the couch.
She-comes home from work and, flushed with fever, prepares dinner for the family.
He-whines “I’m sick!” and, flushed with fever, manages to change channels from Sports Center to the local news. Barely.
She-cleans up the kitchen and tosses back a shooter of Nyquil before leaving the house for a meeting at which she must take the official minutes. She prays that the “drowsy” feature of the medication won’t kick in until after she gets back home.
He-calls his buddy on the planning commission and whines “I’m sick! Send me the minutes from tonight’s meeting” then rolls over and goes to sleep on the couch, remote control clasped loosely in his hand.
She-returns from the meeting just in time to tuck the children into bed, wimpers to no one in particular “I’m sick.” and staggers to bed.
He-wakes up feeling rested and refreshed and wonders why She is so damn grumpy and, by the way, where is his breakfast?
She-contemplates whining "I'm sick...of your whining!" but, instead, quietly plots the various ways that she could cause him physical harm without attracting the attention of the local police department then; realizes that she is too tired for plotting, sucks it up and starts her day.