Thursday, May 13, 2010

What a Productive Day I Have Had

I spent the majority of my day reorganizing merchandise displays in the variety store. While I did that, our new store manager worked on finishing up the Storage Closet from Hell and, while she didn’t discover any more plastic boobies, she did unearth a number of knitting patterns from the 1950’s; we are talking Ward Cleaver worthy sweaters, here. In addition to the patterns she found a 1940’s era spool of ribbon with the word VOTE on it in patriotic red, white and blue and, if you don’t think that I immediately fashioned a sash out of that ribbon and festooned yesterday’s plastic boobies with it then you clearly have not met me.

The sash, by the way, was awesome.

Not quite as awesome as the antique apothecary bottle that Hugh found hidden in yet another cupboard but, awesome nonetheless. As an aside, poking around in the dark spaces of a 112 year old building certainly has its perks, plastic boobies notwithstanding.

On a topic not involving female body parts, I had a massage today and it felt wonderful. Oh, wait. That topic does involve female body parts. Oh well, at least they aren’t plastic. Yet, I mean; never say never, right? Gravity is a bitch after all and a gal should keep her options open.

Let’s try this new topic business again, shall we?

I may have mentioned a time or twelve that The Teenager’s continuation dance is tomorrow night. The Man-Cub has a baseball game tomorrow night as well and, in a rare cosmic occurrence, the stars have aligned to allow me to be two places almost simultaneously. Ok, not at all, but here is how I am planning to arrange my schedule:

5:15 Drop Man-Cub off at ballpark, race back to house.

5:30 Meet The Teenager and a gaggle of her friends at the house for informal pictures.

6:00 Race back to the ballpark to watch the Man-Cub throw out the opening pitch.

6:30 Drive back to the house to shuttle The Teenager and her gaggle of friends to the ceremony.

7:00 Watch ceremonial awarding of certificates to 89 eighth grade boys and girls.

7:15 Weep over Hugh and The Teenager during the first dance, which is the Father/Daughter, Mother/Son dance.

7:20 Race back to the ball field to watch the last innings of the Man-Cub’s game.

8:00 Collapse on the couch with a glass of merlot and four or five extra large, extra chocolaty brownies pilfered from the continuation ceremony.

In comparison to today and tomorrow, the weekend should be practically boring but, I’m planning to plant the rest of my garden and all my flowerbeds and boxes. There won’t be any more brownies or plastic boobies but, a girl can’t have everything.

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