Friday, July 13, 2012

Turn Your Head and Cough

The Man-Cub had his annual sports physical today. His doctor was pleased to note that the child has grown three and a half inches since last year, which, he assured me, indicates a very nice, steady growth pattern; I didn't have the heart to tell him that the majority of that growth spurt (like three inches worth) actually occurred in the past month.

In addition to the increase in his height, the Cub gained eight pounds, which, the doctor informed me, was pure muscle, and, about that, he was correct; the Cub doesn't have an ounce of fat on him despite the plethora of crap that constitutes his daily diet. I wish I had the one tenth of the child's metabolism, truth be told.

Everything else looks good and the Cub is perched on the very cusp of puberty which means that stinky armpits, razor stubble and an unpredictably lilting voice are just around the corner.

Someone hold me.

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