Saturday, July 14, 2018

This Garden Update Brought To You By the F-Word

Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuuuuck.

Despite my determination to remain zen and relaxed in regard to the garden this year, I recently found myself experiencing fury and rage. Fury! Rage!

What could drive such emotion, you ask?

The return of my arch gardening nemesis, of course.

Squash Bugs.

Mutherfuckers!

I discovered a handful of adults doing the nasty on my yellow zucchini this week, and, it sent me into a tailspin, for sure. I was immediately reminded of several years ago, when the rat bastards decimated my entire pumpkin, butternut squash, and zucchini harvest while I was on vacation at the happiest place on earth (side note: Disney, I miss you! Call me!), enjoying my family with not an inkling of the destruction happening in my own backyard.

Needless to say, I am not playing nice this go-around; those assholes will DIE.

Since I am determined to raise my vegetables in the most organic way possible, my assault on the fuckers has consisted of spraying the plant with a healthy dose of Neem oil while routinely conducting ninja-style snatch-and-squish attacks wherein I grab every adult I can find and crush them between my fingers, grinding them into a mealy pulp (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGERY).

So far, my method seems to be working; I haven't seen a single egg, nymph, or adult in the past 48 hours. I am optimistic but guarded, which means zen may be off the table for now. Or, maybe not. The garden does still bring me peace, well, as much peace as a bug-squisher can find, anyway.

 The garden two weeks ago

The garden yesterday

My weapon of choice in the battle of the squash bugs

Birdbath...because no one likes a dirty bird

"Volunteer" sunflowers growing in, and around, my granddad's old wheelbarrow

Scene of the crime...yellow zucchini

Birdhouses and rusty vintage items are garden favorites

 Barefoot gardening; it doesn't get much more zen

The fruits (vegetables) of my labors

1 comment:

Dorothy Elliott said...

Your grandma Molly would be so proud of you Michelle. I know your mother sure is. Your garden looks wonderful. A feet your old mom could never accomplish.