Tuesday, November 13, 2018

30 Days of Gratitude, Days Twelve and Thirteen


Today, I am thinking about how grateful I am for reliable transportation. I know I am fortunate to have had the ability to purchase a new car, as well as having access to the funds to keep it running; there are far too many families who can’t say the same, and my heart goes out to them.

With that said, I am now going to admit to some minor annoyance with the new Tahoe. Specifically, with the fact that she seems to be of the opinion that I am an idiot.

I get it, she’s a smart car; she’s got all the technological bells and whistles, all of which are meant to keep me safe. She knows when there is a car in my blind spot, when I am in danger of rear-ending the vehicle in front of me, when I drift perilously close to side-swiping a mailbox on the side of the road, and when I am in danger of being rear-ended by a jackass following too closely behind me (none of which I have come even remotely close to experiencing, by the way), but, dear lord in heaven; I grow weary of her alerting me to EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE ITEM IN OUR VICINITY THAT COULD EVEN REMOTELY PRESENT A HAZARD. I am aware, Lola! I see the dangers in front of me! And, behind me! And, to the side of me! I am not blind! I am also a very good driver! I always have been.

In fact, I have been known to simultaneously shift gears while rolling down a window-with my bare hands-while Guns and Roses blared through the speakers and a gaggle of girlfriends screamed over the wailing of the electric guitars. I was probably also downing a Diet Pepsi and a handful of Funyuns. Barefoot. In a snowstorm!

And, without a single accident.

I got this, Lola. Please stop sending abrupt, ass-shaking vibrations through my seat every time a bird flies three feet in front of you; it succeeds only in making me a nervous wreck, not a more vigilant driver.

Other than that, yes. Very blessed to have reliable transportation.

Amen.

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