Thursday, May 23, 2019

Please Disregard Previous Post

If you read yesterday's post, you know that I was certain that end times were near. If you haven't read it, scroll back and acquaint yourself with the content; go ahead, I'll wait...

...done? Great!

Now, disregard that dire warning about the impending Doomsday, because, today Hugh managed to lose a sixteen thousand dollar check in the space of time that it took between me endorsing it and him walking to his truck, which was parked in our garage.

And, although he located the check within minutes of misplacing it, the balance of power in our home was restored.

I actually felt the Earth shifting back on its axis, resulting in us narrowly avoiding total catastrophe.

I'm sure you're all relieved.

I would, however, keep your bunker stocked, you know, just in case.

Wednesday, May 22, 2019

There Are Certain Signs of End Times, and, This Is One of Them

The Man-Cub starts work at his summer job tomorrow, at 5:00 a.m. He spent the past couple of hours looking for his insulated lunch box after having forgotten where he put it at the end of last summer. In a surprising turn of events, it was Hugh who suggested that he look in the attic, where all of the rest of our coolers are stored, and, there it was.

That means that Hugh found a lost item.

This is unheard of in our household. I mean, it's an historical fact that Hugh is our resident loser. And, by loser, I don't mean loser, loser; I mean, he's a loser, in that he loses things. Lots of things. Everything, actually. If I had a dollar for every time he's misplaced an item and then blamed me for: A, hiding it, B., moving it, or C., "putting it away in the wrong spot", I would be a very, very wealthy woman.

So, this little turn of events is more than a bit perplexing; it's almost definitely the first sign of the impending apocalypse. Get your bunkers ready.

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

The Cub Flew Home Yesterday and, Man, Are His Arms Tired

Bah, dum, dum...thankyouvery much! I'll be here all week.

But, seriously, with the overnight flight, time change, and break-neck pace that he and Kenzie kept last week when Kenzie was visiting the island; he's completely exhausted.

Fortunately for him, the cure for jetlag is rest. Unfortunately for him, he has to be in Neighboring City at 8:00 this morning to update his paperwork and drug test for his summer job.

I'm expecting a grumpus in da house later this evening, but, I'll still revel in the knowledge that my youngest is back under my roof (at least until he starts work next week, when he will be living under his sister's roof, which, is still technically my roof, so, I'll take it).

His second semester of his second year of college went well. His grades were good, he learned a lot, and he is now halfway done with school. We are super proud of him!

And, did I mention he's home, now? Because, yeah...

Monday, May 20, 2019

Weekend Shenanigans

This weekend was a whirl-wind of fun activities, which, hasn't happened in a while. To say I loved it would be an understatement.

Saturday morning, Mom, Hugh, and I attended a graduation party for Johnna, who is both a friend of the family and the soon-to-be bride of Darren (two for one!). I will be photographing the wedding in August, and, since the wedding will be held at the house where the graduation party was, I was able to get an idea of what to expect, logistics-wise.

After the grad party, we went shopping for flowers for my front porch, and, while I struck out (nothing caught my eye, plus, it was freaking chilly out, which dampened my enthusiasm for wandering around the garden center at the Home Depot), Mom did manage to find cushions for her deck furniture, so not all was lost.

Saturday evening, Phoebe, Petey, and two of their three kids stopped by for a BBQ; they were in town for Phoebe's niece's graduation and it was so nice to see them. Phoebe and I got caught up and plotted our next destination for a Girl's Trip (we are hoping for Napa in October, assuming we can get everyone on the same page; fingers crossed!).

Sunday morning, we were up early, headed to Neighboring City where Hugh was officiating a baseball game while Mom, Queen B, and I hit the winery for brunch. It was amazing! I had a ham and cheese crepe that was seriously to die for, while Mom and Queen B each had turkey and brie panninis that were, according to them, absolutely delicious. We toasted with mimosas and relaxed in the vineyard before hitting the shopping center for fun things that we may not have needed, but adore, nonetheless. It was the perfect way to end the weekend.

Today, I am at Day Job, where I am attending a strategic planning retreat at the local mental health center. Yay, me.

On the bright side, the Man-Cub's plane lands at 11:00! Mom and Queen B are picking him up at the airport and we have a steak dinner planned for later tonight. Both my babies under my roof and tasty food? Yes, please!

It's shaping up to be a great week!

Friday, May 17, 2019

Friday Favorites: Pedicures With Mom

Mom got here earlier this morning, not long after Hugh and I finished signing a bible-sized stack of paperwork at the closing company. We are now re-financed on the house, back to having zero car payments, and square with the medical establishment; thank goodness for home equity, lower interest rates, and a housing market that drove the appraisal value of our house into the stratosphere.

To celebrate, Mom and I got pedicures, because, nothing says financial solvency like toenails painted with OPI's That's Hula-rious! It's the color of money, folks, not even kidding. Well, maybe a little.

Anyhoodle, our toes are flashy, our heels are smooth, and we are now enjoying a glass of wine and slices of Papa Murphy's take'n'bakes.

It doesn't get much better than that.

Thursday, May 16, 2019

It's a Much Better Week, I Am Having

This week at Day Job has been a lot less stressful, if not one whit less busy.I'll take busy and not stressed over busy and tearing my hair out, any day.

And, since I had to flex a number of overtime hours from last week, today was my Friday! and, it was Bike to Work Day, so, not only did I get to take Lulu to work, I also got a T-shirt. Like, wow! Right? I mean, who doesn't need another ugly T-shirt cluttering up their closet?

So, as I said, I am off tomorrow, and, the only things I have planned are the closing on the house refinance that Hugh and I are doing and pedicures with Mom, who is coming up from Mayberry for a few days.

Saturday, we have a graduation brunch for the daughter of friends, Sunday, Mom, Queen B, and I are gong to brunch at the winery where Queen B did her internship last year, and, on Monday, the Man-Cub comes home!

Things are definitely shaping up for a nice few days, and, after last week, I totally deserve it.

Monday, May 13, 2019

Last Week Was a Mother (Insert Bad Word Here)

But, it ended on a sweet note, with gifts to the two mothers who shaped Hugh and me into the slightly neurotic-but mostly lovable-humans we are today.

I also received an awesome gift from Hugh and the kids...

...and I set about filling it, immediately.

I am now ready for fresh summer recipes, especially the mock Caprese salad that calls for allll the fresh basil. Fun fact: I also found a recipe for Thai drunken noodles on Pinterest; the recipe calls for Thai basil, which I had never head of before, but, somehow managed to find among the selection of herb plants at my local supermarket. It was fate!

I'm not planting a vegetable garden this year (last year's garden was an exercise in frustration and stress, and I'm not interested in revisiting that this year), so the herb planter will have to satisfy my need to get earthy. Is earthy a word? SpellCheck appears to think so.

The rest of Mother's Day was spent hanging out with Queen B, who drove down from Neighboring City; we watched Hugh do yard work, which is always entertaining. It was a much better way to spend my day than the previous five days had been.

As an aside, if I don't see this view again for a while, I won't complain...

I'm looking forward to a far less stressing week. Happy Monday!

Friday, May 10, 2019

So Close!

It's finally Friday! My week from Hell is almost over! I made it through four days of trainings, speeches, meetings, and other "opportunities to grow in my profession" (that's Day Job Positive Speak for shit I have to do in order to remain employed), and, I rocked them, without exception.

I would totally crow about the week being completely over, but, I have to drive to a town a little over an hour away to attend an eight hour training today, so, not quite there yet.

This evening, however, I will crow about it over a full wine glass.

Hashtag, Goalz.

Almost there, almost there, almost there...

Wednesday, May 08, 2019

Hump Day!

I am officially at the halfway point of this very busy week. Today's schedule is jam-packed, including my first stab at conducting a training for strangers. Not gonna lie; I'm nervous. And, excited. But, mostly nervous.

I met with my co-trainer yesterday; she drove down from Denver, where she is employed by the state office of behavioral health. We have been working together, along with several additional colleagues from across the state, to develop the curriculum for this particular training, so, while I am intimately familiar with the material, I've only presented to my own staff, and, having her present alongside me is a huge advantage.

Once the day-long training is over, we will both be attending a reception at the admin building of the local school district; she is a guest speaker and I am a panelist at a safety symposium that the district is hosting tomorrow, and this is our opportunity to meet the other speakers. So, as I said, it's going to be a long day.

Once I get home, I'm sure I am going to want to do nothing but sink into the couch with an unhealthy snack, but, I'm going to do my best to force myself to hit the gym.

We'll see how that goes.

Most likely, though, I'll be sharing Cheez-Its with this guy...

...this is his "Hello, human, I'm waiting for my snack" face. In case you couldn't tell.

Tuesday, May 07, 2019

One Down, Four to Go

I made it through the first day of this very busy week, and, while the universe threw some work-related additional bullshit at me, I came through it with flying colors. The color was mostly black-like my mood-but, colorful, nonetheless.

Today, I am looking forward to even more bullshit, so, yay. On the bright side, I'll be racking up the overtime, and, the lilacs are blooming, so, when I do get five seconds to take a break, I can walk around the block and admire their beauty and scent.

Four days to go, and this week will be in the rear view.

Monday, May 06, 2019

The One In Which I Did Nothing...Like, NOTHING

I spent the past two days engaging with no one, doing nothing, and, going nowhere. It was highly unusual and highly enjoyable.

Saturday, I didn't even get out of my pajamas. I barely left the couch, I binge-watched Dead to Me on Netflix, and I napped in between episodes.

Good show, by the way.

All around me, dust bunnies called my name, laundry begged to be done, and the Boomer dog pleaded for just one game of fetch; I ignored them all (sorry, Boomer dog). I was experiencing a degree of laziness that is completely foreign to me, and, I embraced it.

This week, I am facing a jam-packed schedule at work. I've actually been eyeballing this week, circled in red on my calendar, with dread and anxiety. The past two days have given me the strength that I will need to power on through.

At least, that's my story, and, I'm sticking to it.

Thursday, May 02, 2019

File Under F, For Frustration

My day started off with a bang yesterday; the banging was courtesy of me beating on my filing cabinet in frustration when I couldn't get the damn thing to open.

I have no idea how a perfectly good lock can somehow spontaneously combust overnight, but that was the situation at Day Job. Despite numerous efforts on the part of several co-workers, we were unable to get the damn thing open.

I finally succeeded in opening it with a nail file, thanks to a YouTube tutorial by a twelve-year old named Dylan; say what you will about the millennial generation, but, you can't knock their mad burglary skillz.

Today, I am transferring files to a new cabinet and putting the old one in the recycling rotation at our corporate office. I lobbied for a chance to beat the piece of crap into scrap metal myself, but, cooler heads prevailed.

Cooler Heads=Buzz Kill.

On the bright side, I have access to my phone charger, which had also been locked in the cabinet; I'm planning to keep it in my desk drawer from now on so, in the event that the new cabinet mysteriously implodes, I will have battery life on my phone. Got to be able to access YouTube in case of emergency, don't you know.

Besides, now I'm kind of curious about what other tricks young Master Dylan has up his sleeve.

Wednesday, May 01, 2019

May-Be, Baby

The following is a list of things that I am hoping to accomplish in May. Will I successfully check each item off the list? Not likely. Do I have the best of intentions to do so? Absolutely.

(Please, let's not talk about the paving on the road to Hell)

1. Have a yard sale. (Every damn year, people! I set this goal Every. Damn. Year)

2. Set up a backdrop and practice using the studio lights that Hugh got me for Christmas a few years ago (They are going to be important for Darren's wedding later this summer).

3. Porch Nights, MULTIPLE Porch Nights.

4. Master one new yoga pose.

5. Figure out a Girl's Weekend, so help me, God (really, really missing my Girls).

6. Eat a salad, EVERY day. Try new salad combinations frequently.

7. Do something fun with the kids (The Man-Cub arrives home on the 20th!).

As lists go, it's not terribly ambitious. It is, however, a great starting point for getting my shit together before the official start of summer. And, I'm going to rock know...probably...maybe...

Fingers crossed.

Monday, April 29, 2019

It Was a Marvel-ous Weekend

See what I did there?

So, obviously, we finally, finally saw Avengers Endgame on Saturday night; I say finally because, the feat required us to stand in a line snaking for two blocks around the theater, just to get our seats (we had tickets, but seats are on a first come, first serve basis here in podunk Hooterville), and included a thirty-minute delay to the start of the movie so that idiots in the concession lines could get their Milk Duds. Now, I know that theaters make their profit off concessions, but, come on! Endgame!

The movie was absolutely worth the wait, the price of admission, and the annoyance of watching it with three hundred other anxious fans! It was a beautiful wrap-up of a story arc that built up over 11 years and 22 movies; the ending was satisfying, each character got the send-off that they deserved, and, SPOILER ALERT...they finally acknowledged what I have known all along: This IS America's Ass.

And this is why he is my imaginary boyfriend

That's my kind of movie.

In other marvelous weekend news, Hugh and I installed curtain rods on the porch. I am now 100% Porch Night ready, despite the fact that Mother Nature is still being a whiny bitch, and, pissed all over my happiness with bullshit winds and rain, yesterday.

We'll get there, eventually.

Friday, April 26, 2019

Friday Favorites

TGIF, y'all!

This week crawled by, and, I'm not sure if it was due to the misery caused by my allergies or to the anticipation of the opening for Avengers Endgame, but, either way; It. Was. Sloooow.

But, here we are, at Friday! Finally!

And, I already have my tickets to see Endgame tomorrow night!

I'm really looking forward to seeing the movie, but, I have a terrible feeling that they are going to kill my imaginary boyfriend...

Please, not Cap!

...the Man-Cub saw the movie last night and he would neither confirm nor deny my suspicion, so, I guess I'll have to wait and see.

Speaking of the Man-Cub, I think his sister misses him...

...and, the feeling is clearly mutual...

...I raised such good kids, including the one I didn't "technically" raise; Katie texted me this picture earlier this week and I swooned...

...although, if she had ended up in prison, I hope she knows I would have totally baked her a cake with a file in it.

On a completely different topic, I found this amazing bouquet in the clearance section of the local supermarket this week; it was marked at $17, which was a deal I could not refuse.

It brightened my work week, a week that is now officially over; I did mention it was Friday, right?

Thank God.

Thursday, April 25, 2019

Dear Allergies:

Go away.

That is all.

(This post brought to you by Claritin, Flonase, and Allegra, all three of which I have tried, and, all three of which have failed to put a dent in the itching of my eyes, running of my nose, blurring of my vision, pounding of my head, and constant sneezing)

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

What's Up Wednesday

Another month, another What's Up Wednesday! I am linking up with Sheaffer and Shay, to share what we have been up to, recently.

What I'm Eating

I haven't really eaten anything exciting recently; I've been trying to undo the damage that I did to my waistline in Hawaii. That's been going about as well as could be expected.

What I'm Reminiscing About

The tragic burning of Notre Dame has me reminiscing about the trip to Paris that I took with my mom and sisters several years ago. We were there during Holy Week and had the opportunity to attend mass at Notre Dame. I'll never forget the feeling of peace that washed over me in the cathedral, and, my heart is heavy for the French people. I know they will rebuild, but, the devastation is heartbreaking, nonetheless.

What I'm Loving

Warmer weather, longer days, time spent with family, and the promise of summer, just around the corner!

What I've Been Up To

The weather has gotten a lot nicer lately, so, I've been spending as much time as possible outside. I've been biking with Queen B, walking with Boomer, and strolling through the blossoming fruit trees in downtown Hooterville on my lunch hour. It's been wonderful.

What I'm Dreading

Thankfully, I can't think of a single thing that I am dreading.

What I've Been Working On

Baby Cooper finally made his entrance into this world on April 17th, and, I spent a bit of time editing the photos that I took at the delivery. For my first delivery room shoot, I think it went quite well.

What I'm Excited About

Avengers Endgame! I can hardly wait!

What I'm Watching

Hugh and I recently binge-watched Yellowstone and we are now eagerly awaiting the start of the second season later this summer.

I can't believe I am actually going to admit this, but, if you can't be vulnerable with strangers on the internet, who can you be vulnerable with; am I right? I'm right. Sooo, I recently started recording Days of Our Lives so that I can watch it in the evenings after my workouts.

I haven't watched Days in years, so, what brought me back? Jack Deveraux. Or, more specifically, Mathew Ashford, returning to the role of Jack Deveraux.

Back in the day, my college roommates and I were obsessed with the unlikely pairing of Jack and Jennifer Horton so, when I heard they were going to be reunited after thirty years, I decided I needed to see if the new writers could recreate the magic. It's too soon to tell, because, in true soap opera fashion, Jack has amnesia and doesn't remember Jen, but, never fear, that shit turns on a dime (also in true soap opera fashion), and I have no doubt they'll be together like peas and carrots again in no time.


Since I started watching, I have been drawn into another unlikely pairing: that of the police commissioners daughter and a serial killer. A serial killer, people! How does one write a redemption arc for a serial killer? I guess the same way they wrote a redemption arc for a rapist, all those years ago (don't judge me! It's a SOAP OPERA, people!). So, I came for Jack and Jen, but I'm staying for Cin (Ciara and Ben, duh).

What I'm Reading

I am working with colleagues from the local mental health center and school district to create a threat assessment protocol for responding appropriately when a student makes a threat against the schools; one of them suggested that I read A Mother's Reckoning by Sue Klebold, and I took her suggestion. It was not an easy book to read, but, I couldn't put it down. The irony that I was reading it mere days before the twenty year anniversary of Columbine was not lost on me.

What I'm Listening To

I got another album recently: Journey: Greatest Hits. It brings back a lot of memories of High School, which, now feels like at least a million years ago.

What I'm Wearing

Spring has arrived and I am wearing allll the sandals! And Wedges! If I weren't too lazy to shave my legs on the regular, I would totally be wearing skirts and dresses, but, baby steps.

What I'm Doing This Weekend

I don't know for sure, but I have a bad feeling that it is going to involve me donning gardening gloves and will ultimately result in crippling pain. Soooo looking forward to it.

On the bright side, Endgame!

What I'm Looking Forward To

The Man-Cub comes home on May 20th! We are thisclose to being through his second year of college. On an island. Thousands of miles away. To say that I am beyond excited about having him home again is a vast understatement.

What Else Is New

We recently learned that Boomer likes bubbles. I am now searching my home for the bubble machine that I vaguely recall purchasing on clearance several years ago. I'm confident that I stored it away, thinking that I would use it for a party at some point in time, and, now I just have to remember where the hell I stored it. Wish me luck.