Everything's Bigger in Texas, Y'all

Ok, maybe not everything, but the neck that I pulled out of the turkey the Rodeo Princess bought for Thanksgiving was definitely the biggest one I have ever seen. I'll get to that in a bit, though.

I'll start at the beginning of our trip when Hugh, Mom, and I flew out of the airport in Hooterville. We had a mid-day flight, which meant we got to take our time getting to the airport and getting Mom through security; this was great because she hadn't flown in several years, and we weren't sure how easy it would be for her.

Although Hugh had arranged for a wheelchair for her, we were surprised to discover that we wouldn't get the chair until we disembarked from the plane at DFW rather than when we arrived at the airport in Hooterville. Luckily, our local airport is small, so it didn't present any problems, but it was unexpected.

Hugh has TSA Pre-Check, so he and Mom both breezed through security. I had to wait much longer in the regular line, which was also fine since we had plenty of time to kill before boarding, but I am working on my Global Pre-Check application as we speak.

Once through security, I grabbed a tea at the kiosk that one of my favorite local coffee houses runs for the flight.

Then we boarded and off we went!

Once we landed, Queen B met us at baggage claim, and we made the hour-long drive to the town where she and the Rodeo Princess live. We were just in time for dinner, so we met the Rodeo Princess, the Rebel Without a Pause, his fiance, and his daughter at an Italian place that the girls love. 

When we got to the Rodeo Princess's, it was late, and we were ready to crash, knowing that we would be up before dawn to wrangle the turkey.

Thursday morning, I was met with a birthday banner and gifts from the family.

Hugh got me a tree ornament with a picture of the Boomer Dog, which made me tear up a little. He also gave me a pair of pearl earrings in the shape of snowmen. They are adorable, and I am excited to add them to my pearl collection.

I put the earrings on immediately and then started directing the kids in the kitchen. Queen B was on stuffing duty, so I helped by taking the giblets out of the turkey. That is why I say that that bird's neck was massive; it had to be eight inches long, easily. I felt like a magician pulling a never-ending handkerchief out of a hat as I tugged that thing free.

Not even kidding.

Rodeo enthusiasts will wonder what the hell a rope can is doing on the countertop. The Rodeo Princess didn't have a bowl large enough to mix the dry ingredients for the stuffing in, so the girls got creative. Don't worry; the can was brand new and thoroughly sanitized.

Queen B and the Rodeo Princess were determined to handle the meal preparations so that Mom and I could relax, so they shooed us out of the kitchen once the turkey was gutted and the giblets were simmering on the stovetop for the stuffing.

We sat at the bar and provided moral support while they fussed, which is my new favorite way to spend a holiday in the kitchen.

Queen B even put together a charcuterie board for us to nibble on while we waited for dinner to be ready. She is her mother's daughter.

When dinner was ready, we gathered around the table and said grace. The food was delicious, and it was such a nice way to spend my birthday. I'm glad we made the trip.

It was so good to see the Rodeo Princess in her new home and to know that she is settling in so well. The best part was being with so many of the people I love. While we missed everyone who couldn't be with us this year, it will still go down in the history books as one of my favorite Thanksgiving celebrations (and not just because I didn't have to cook!).

The Man-Cub was on Guinness duty and he shared his birthday wishes via security camera :)

What's Up Wednesday, November 2024 Edition

 

Y'all, Thanksgiving is tomorrow! How is that even possible? I was just packing up the Halloween decorations yesterday; how could the month be almost over? It's a good thing I'll always have What's Up Wednesday posts to review because, with time spinning away as quickly as it has been, I'm certain to forget things. Thanks to Sheaffer and Shay for the opportunity.

What I've Been Eating

I am aggressively pursuing a cleaner diet and making a Herculean effort to get enough protein into it; that means a lot of protein smoothies for breakfast. I've also been trying to ensure sufficient selenium in my diet (essential for thyroid health), so the smoothies always contain two Brazil nuts. I am not a fan of the flavor of Brazil nuts, but the taste is undetectable in the smoothies, so it's a win.

Mom and I recently went out for dinner at the local Thai place. Before we went, I researched the Thai foods with the highest protein, so I ended up trying chicken pad Thai and chicken satay. Both were delicious.

What I'm Reminiscing About

I'm not really reminiscing about anything in particular at the moment.

What I'm Loving

I've been attending yoga pretty regularly lately. I hate how weak and inflexible I have become, but I love how the sessions leave me feeling when I am done.

I'm on a vintage Christmas kick and have been scouring the local antique stores for items to add to my growing collections. I am especially loving vintage Santa mugs and flocked Santa figurines.

What I've Been Up To

I attended a Christmas sale in a neighboring town to add to the abovementioned collections. Mom came along, and we had a great morning exploring the vendor booths and searching for treasures. 

What I'm Working On

2024 is the Year of the Village at Casa de Chelle. Because the village is such a chore to build, it only comes out about every other Christmas, and 2024 is its year.

Earlier this month, I paid one of our employees from the hardware store to come to the house and remove the eight big boxes containing the village from the attic. Hugh and the Man-Cub were hunting and unavailable to help, so the $20 I gave him was well spent.

I took my time unboxing the pieces, which took the majority of the rest of that day. 

I started the building process the next morning, but completing the city took until late the following evening. This is why the village appears only every other year or so. It's a labor of love, to be certain.

What I'm Dreading

The Monday before last, I got my first court subpoena for records regarding a case that came through Not So New Job last year. I was not happy about it, and our prosecuting attorney from the DA's office was less than impressed with the Public Defenders Office for requesting our records. Our records did nothing to help the defendant's case, and it's not our job to help him anyway. The crime he is accused of committing against a child is abhorrent, and he deserves the very worst the justice system throws at him. My Board has now agreed that we need to have an attorney on retainer, and I dread the entire process of vetting and retaining one.

What I'm Excited About

If all goes well, Hugh, Mom, and I will be in Texas by 5:00 this evening to spend Thanksgiving at the Rodeo Princess's new home. While I am sad that Shanti and the Man-Cub couldn't join us, I look forward to a fabulous meal with Queen B, the Rodeo Princess, the Rebel Without a Pause, his fiancee, and his daughter (longtime readers know this is my daughter, niece, nephew, future niece-in-law, and great-niece, respectively). The girls have been shopping and prepping for the feast, and it will be fun to sit back and relax while someone else does the heavy lifting in the kitchen this year, especially since my birthday is tomorrow, and relaxation on my birthday is the best gift I could ask for. Ok, maybe not the best gift; before I left Hooterville, my staff celebrated my birthday by gifting me with a wine advent calendar. Is that not the coolest thing ever? I'm excited to crack open the first window when we get home on Saturday.

What I'm Reading

I've been pretty busy lately and haven't had the bandwidth for novels, so I've been reading magazines in small snippets when I can. I'm not mad about it.

What I'm Watching

'Twas a Month of mind-numbing holiday movies! 

First, I watched the absolute cheesiest, schmaltziest, eye-rollingly ridiculous movie ever to be presented by our friends at Netflix. It's so bad, it's almost good. IYKYK

Then, I watched the cringiest show they had to offer (SpellCheck assures me this is not a word, but I have no other verbiage for the sheer amount of cringe this show delivered). It's so bad, it's...well, it's just bad.

I had to start watching the final season of Yellowstone, just to get the cringe out of my mouth

What I'm Listening To

The Holly channel hit Sirius XM on November 1st, and I have had the Tahoe dialed in ever since. Hugh rolls his eyes whenever he enters the car, but I don't care. Listening to Christmas carols makes me a happier, less road-ragey driver.

What I'm Wearing

As I write this? Comfy jammies. Highly recommend.

What I'm Doing This Weekend

We'll be in Texas through Saturday, so I expect we will do some Black Friday shopping. Not aggressively or anything. I mean, I'm not getting up at the crack of dawn and waiting in lines or knocking down the competition in an effort to get to the last Cabbage Patch doll or any of that nonsense; that's so 2003.

What I'm Looking Forward to Next Month

Christmas! I feel the need to indulge in all things nostalgic and reminiscent of years past. This will include attending the annual Christmas production at the community theater, watching Petticoat Junction's annual Parade of Lights, joining Hugh, Mom, the Man-Cub, Shanti, and Queen B at the local botanical gardens for their Garden of Lights display, doing all the holiday baking, and everything else that I can do to recreate the magic of Christmas for myself and my family.

Favorite Purchase This Month

My favorite purchase this month was, hands down, this vintage Santa doll, which I picked up at the Christmas sale I mentioned earlier in this post. He dates back to the 50s and is in remarkably good condition. I plan to display him in a small metal sleigh that I purchased a number of years ago at the Russell Stovers outlet store. The sleigh has been in my attic for years, and I'm excited to finally have a use for it. 

Isn't he freaking adorable?

That's it for today! I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving surrounded by friends and family! 

I hope you have a fantastic regular 'ol Thursday for my Canadian friends!

High and Low

When the kids were small, we would sometimes ask them to tell us about the highs and lows of their day; it was a great way to start a conversation and almost always entertaining.

Today, I'm going to tell you about my highs and lows from yesterday, when I traveled to Neighboring City for my annual physical exam.

We'll start with the low: upon arriving in the examination room, the PA informed me that, after a five-year hiatus, it was time for a pap smear.

No woman enjoys a pap smear. At least, none I've ever met.

You know what else no woman enjoys? Her extremely chipper British doctor informing her in a sing-song British accent that she sees some mild prolapse in her hoo-ha while conducting said pap smear.

But it's ok; it will be a while before the uterus drops completely out of the vagina, and this is what happens naturally as we get old.

Yes. She said all these things. In a chipper British accent.

Low point: reached.

To soothe my injured feelings I did what any normal woman would do: I engaged in retail therapy.

Specifically, I went to Sephora to find some elusive magical potion that would slow the trajectory of the inevitable slide into my dowager era.

You can be assured that I was aggressively engaging in Kegel exercises the entire time I searched the shelves.

Upon finding no magic potions, I left the store, dejectedly.

Our Sephora is inside a Khol's, so I was wandering around the mature women's department (which is apparently where I belong, now) when a woman approached me and asked, very sweetly, if I would mind telling her what foundation I use, because, and I quote "your skin is so flawless; it looks airbrushed".

I was mid-Kegel when she said it, and I swear, I felt my uterus scoot up higher.

High point: reached and then some.

The moral of this story is: if you see something about a person you admire, please tell them. They may be at a low point, and a kind word from you could be the difference between a sad, woe-is-me day and a better, brighter, I-can-take-on-the-world kind of day.

Also, ladies, don't forget to do your Kegels. No woman wants her uterus to drop out of her hoo-ha like a dusty paratrooper.

And, for the record, I don't use a traditional foundation; I have used this product from Neutrogena for years.

This Weekend Was Sew Nice

I was highly productive this weekend! I had hoped to complete my Christmas decorating, and I was completely successful in that regard; the tree is trimmed, and all of my other decor is in place!

As I was inspecting my work, however, it occurred to me that the kitchen window needed a little something to finish off the vintage look that I was going for.

 I decided that my current window treatment was not cutting it and realized that I wanted a curtain that would match the retro vibe. Where does one find such a curtain? Not in any store in Hooterville, I thought. But then I had a stroke of brilliance. My eye settled on the kitchen table, currently covered with a vintage 1950s tablecloth that I recently picked up at the antique store in Hooterville, and it struck me that a similar tablecloth could be cut and hemmed into a serviceable valance for the window.

So, Friday afternoon, I went back to the antique store to look at the selection. I found a cloth that was sold "as is", due to some staining, and I went to Mom's house to ask for a sewing assist (remember how I sewed my fingers together in Home Economics class back in the day? Yeah, I'm still not a fan of sewing machines).

I laid the tablecloth out for Mom's inspection and explained my vision.

She picked up what I was laying down, if you will, and agreed to help. However, since she, the Man-Cub, and Shanti were in the process of decorating her house for the holidays, we agreed to do the sewing on Sunday afternoon.

And, by "we", I obviously mean "her".

I contributed to the effort by hauling her ancient sewing machine out of the closet and getting it set up. I am not kidding when I say that thing weighs a ton; it was made back when things were built to last and probably contains more metal than is found in most cars on the road these days.

Anyhoodle, once the machine was set up, I cut the tablecloth and pinned the hem that would become the pocket for the drapery rod. Then Mom got busy with the sewing.

Just look at her not sewing her fingers together!

The entire project took less than an hour, and the final product in my window is something that I will treasure for years to come.

I am now debating possible uses for the small amount of unstained fabric that remained from the tablecloth. 

I have several ideas, but I don't know if any of them will actually come to fruition this season.

I'll keep you posted.

Friday Favorites, November Edition #4

Happy Friday!

I can't believe that Thanksgiving is now less than a week away! Next Wednesday, Hugh, Mom, and I will fly to Texas to spend the holiday with Queen B at the Rodeo Princess's new home. I anxiously watch the weather forecast and pray that our flight takes place as scheduled, with no delays or cancellations. In the meantime, I am debating what to pack and what to leave behind; the weather in Texas is almost as unpredictable as the weather in Colorado.

It was my goal this month is to have the house fully decorated for Christmas before we make the trip, and today, Hugh and I will be putting up the tree. I've already got my village up and the rest of the house decorated, so the tree will be the last chore. For me, Hugh still needs to get the outside of the house done, and I am not above nagging him until the last blow mold is in position this weekend.

Again, my decorating vibe has leaned heavily into tacky territory this year, and I love it. There is nothing like a colorful Christmas, and I am so happy that I never fell victim to the Sad Beige Christmas phenomenon that so many influencers espouse.

I've been picking up new-to-me items at the local antique and thrift stores and online from the Mercari app and eBay. My most favorite purchase this month is this set of vintage music boxes...

The choir boys spin on top of the box as the music plays, and they are just about the most adorable thing I've ever seen.

I found these cute silver salt and pepper shakers at the same store, and they are my new favorite. I polished them up as soon as I got home. They are Godinger Silver Co, circa 1994, and while they aren't terribly valuable, I think they're adorable.

Earlier this month, I shared the discovery of a vintage stuffed Santa doll I found at the White Barn Sale. I debated how to display the doll and settled on propping him up in a metal sleigh I purchased on clearance several years ago at the Russell Stovers factory store in Hooterville. The sleigh has been sitting in my attic since, and I'm glad to have a use for it. 

I need to find some filler items to round out the look I am striving for, but that won't happen until the tree goes up. This display will be a favorite for years to come.

And, lastly today, I'll share the awesome birthday gift that my staff gave me yesterday (my birthday is next Thursday, but one of my team will be in Denver all of next week with her son while he continues to undergo cancer treatment; his continued remission is the most favorite thing on my mind, today):

This is a wine advent calendar!

I can't wait to start opening the windows and sampling wines from all over the world!

Isn't that the coolest birthday gift?!

Definitely a favorite.

Friday Favorites, November Edition #3

 Happy Friday!

I am not on-call this weekend (always a favorite!) and am instead looking forward to going through my Christmas decorations and starting my decorating. I'm not looking forward to actually getting the boxes out of the attic, but that has to happen if I want to get this party started.

Hugh and the Man-Cub are still on the mountain, stalking elk, so neither of them is available to help with the heavy lifting. They both filled their deer tags, which is exciting, but I'm much more of an elk meat fan, so I am crossing my fingers for a successful day for them, and, will only mildly curse them under my breath as I haul totes from the attic.

When Hugh gets home with his prize (or, prizes, assuming they are successful), I'm sure he'll be impressed with the bird I successfully hunted down...

...this turkey from Target was as elusive as the craftiest deer; I went to two different stores before finding it online and ordering it. 

Did I need a beaded, stuffed turkey?  

Of course not. 

Do I regret the purchase? 

Nope.

Am I slightly obsessed with how well the colors in the turkey compliment the colors in the flower arrangement that I made last year? Yes, yes, I am. And, although I decided not to pull out the jewel-toned velvet pumpkins that I normally use for Thanksgiving decor this year; I know how nice they will look when combined with this display next year. The colors in the Gurley turkey candles also coordinate with ol' Tom up there, and the entire vibe just makes me happy.

Definitely a favorite today.

Anyhoodle, I'm off to climb the attic ladder. Please say a prayer for my balance, strength, and stability because I don't fully trust myself not to take a tumble and I do not have time for an injury.

Have a great weekend!