Sunday, May 31, 2020

When Things Are Going Along Swimmingly and Then They Turn Into a Shit Show...

Yesterday started off so promisingly! Hugh, Queen B, Katie, Boomer Dog, and I set sail on the Sea Chelle for a fun day on the lake to celebrate Katie's birthday.

The weather was fair, I packed a delicious lunch, and we were fully prepared to relax on the boat for the majority of the day.

A couple of hours into our float, the skies turned grey and the wind picked up. This is usually something that we can ride out without too much concern, but, when the lightning began to flash, we knew it was time to pull off the lake. In hindsight, the ominous weather should have been my first clue that things were taking a turn toward Shit Town.

We had no sooner reached the point where we get a decent signal for our cell phones when the notifications came rolling in on my phone. Voice mails, text messages, and more voice mails and text messages. Apparently, there was a need for an emergency interview and exam at New Job and I needed to get my ass back to Hooterville to get the team organized (I am on call pretty much 24/7, 365 days of the year. Without pay. Awesome).

I got to the center in record time and we got the show on the road, despite the fact that, once all of the details were known, it ended up being less emergent than law enforcement had led us to believe. In fact, it could have, and should have, been scheduled for regular business hours. Since we were there, however, we pressed on, finally finishing up at 8:00 pm.

While I was working, I had my phone on silent, which is why I then missed numerous calls and text messages from Queen B and Hugh, letting me know that she had been in an accident on her way back to Neighboring City. Thankfully, it was a minor fender-bender, courtesy of some hillbilly jackass who clearly doesn't know how to drive. And, thankfully, Hugh was able to get to her immediately to talk her through it, but, still; I failed as a mother because I was preoccupied with an emergency that wasn't actually an emergency at a job that I am increasingly growing to understand is not where I wish to be.

Not quite sure what to do with that yet, but, clearly something will need to be done.

Anyhoodle, Queen B is mostly fine (not quite sure how much more crap she can handle; this is her third accident in three years and only one of them was in any way her fault, plus, you know, life, it's thrown her some curve balls and she is both mentally and emotionally fried). I now know that I can never go anywhere that I won't have cell service (as long as I have this job, anyway), and, I definitely don't like the view here in Shit Town.

Thank God for wine.

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

What's Up Wednesday, May 2020 Edition

Is it just me, or has May gone by a hell of a lot faster than April did? Could this be a positive sign of things to come? Time will tell. In the meanwhile, I'm back again with another scintillating edition of What's Up Wednesday, hosted, as always, by Sheaffer and Shay.

What I'm Eating

I would love to say that I've been eating slightly less junk this month, but that would be a dirty lie. Instead, I upped the sugar ante with two separate strawberry-rhubarb cobblers, consumed with a side of vanilla ice cream. I'm not sorry.

I also recreated a Monte Cristo recipe from a local restaurant, and, while it wasn't quite as good as the original, it was still pretty damn tasty.

I'm also not ashamed to admit that I have bellied up to the Salt Water taffy bar at the local Safeway a time or ten, because Covid. It's a coping mechanism; Salt Water taffy got me through a lot of heartache in college, a fact that The Girls are still more than willing to tease me about even all these years, later.

Of course, woman cannot live on sugar alone; she also needs empty carbs and a liberal dose of MSG, hence the Chinese takeout feast that  we dined on for one dinner and two additional lunches (gotta love takeout portions).

What I'm Reminiscing About

After spending an awesome long holiday weekend with friends, I can't help but reminisce about the friends that I'm not getting to spend time with: The Girls. Last year, close to this time, we were plotting a trip to the lake outside of the town of our Alma Mater. I wish we were at a point this year where we could even begin to schedule a get-together. I miss these friends (even if they do tease me about my salt water taffy consumption).

What I'm Loving

Jana taught me how to make mojitos and my life is now complete.

Just kidding; I have yet to master a hot buttered rum, so, there is work yet to be done.

What I've Been Up To

I spent an amazing weekend not social distancing from my friends and family. If I felt the need to defend myself, I would point out that the majority of our time together was spent in the open, with sunlight, fresh air, and breathing room between us. But, then I would probably feel the need to admit that I hugged the holy hell out of every single one of them, because, damnit, I miss holding my loved ones tight. Judge me if you must.

What I'm Working On

I finally found enough flowers to use in the various containers that I use on my porch. For whatever reason, that was a lot harder this year than in years past (say it with me; Covid), so I had to get a little creative, but; I'm fairly pleased with my selections.

What I'm Dreading

Sunday nights. I had heard people talk about the Sunday Blues, but I didn't know they were an actual real thing until recently. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I envy you. If you also suffer from them, I feel for you.

What I'm Excited About

Never thought I would say this but; the gym opens today and I am so excited!!! I'm also a little nervous because I have a date with my favorite treadmill tomorrow after work; what if he doesn't remember me? Will we have to get to know each other all over again? What if our feelings for each other have changed? I don't want to have to start dating a new treadmill, I'm too old for that shit.

What I'm Watching

I've been watching Amy Schumer Learns to Cook and it is cracking me up. I have always found Schumer entertaining, but, the addition of her husband Chris, (a delightfully quirky chef with an affinity for fennel) ups her game to hilarious. They appear to be a very connected couple, and his deadpan humor has made me a Chris Fischer fan for life, pretty much. They filmed the show from their cabin on Martha's Vineyard while quarantining and it is really fun to watch them interact as a couple while making the best of a crappy situation. Thumbs up!

I'm slowly working my way through the second season of Dead to Me. I'm not sure why it hasn't caught my attention quite as well as the first season, but I'm chalking it up to Covid Brain.

I am doing slightly better at staying interested in Sweet Magnolias (not to be confused with Steel Magnolias, which is a classic and something that I can watch over and over again).

What I'm Reading

Not one single thing, recently. Again, I blame Covid Brain.

What I'm Listening To

An acquaintance of mine recently started a true crime podcast and she is killing it! If you are a fan of all things crime, give Crime Sidekick a listen.

What I'm Wearing

Lord, much like everything else in my life, my wardrobe has been uninspired. I seem to wear the same uniform outfits over and over, and, while I have plenty of cute things hanging in my closet, I lack the inspiration to put together anything resembling a cute outfit. Maybe next month.

What I'm Doing This Weekend

We are planning to celebrate Katie's birthday with a day on the lake. I'm hoping that the wind doesn't blow as much as it has the past few days, because I am jonesing to blow up my new float. Fingers crossed!

What I'm Looking Forward to Next Month

More lake time! Maybe some time in the mountains? Porch Night! Time with friends! Kaley Bug's bridal shower! Seeing my Mom, finally!

And, that's it for this month's edition of What's Up Wednesday! See you back here again next month! Or, you know, sooner, if that's your choice :)