Thursday, August 17, 2017

Another Week on Biiiiiigggg Brother!

- Double Eviction Night!! Let's cut some of the dead weight, shall we?

- For some reason, every time I see Alex in her adventure guide gear, I am reminded of Snoopy and Woodstock.

- Elena has a lot in common with Daisy Duck. It's the lips, I think.

- How many freaking sweaters did Kevin take into that house?

- Cody is going to marry Jessica....suuuure he is.

- Jason's "x-treme" costume is probably not the most ridiculous outfit he has ever worn; he is a rodeo clown, after all.

- Dear Mark: Elena is really not all that into you. Love, America.

- Dear Houseguests: Paul is going to run away with this game because you are all idiots. Love, Someone With More Than One Shared Brain Cell.

- Mark is really good at puzzles, this is a surprise.

- Josh sucks at puzzles. This is not such a surprise.

- Matt also sucks at puzzles. Good thing he's pretty.

- See, Mark? Even Julie Chen doesn't think Elena is that into you.

- What a sadly disappointing Double Eviction Night.

- Seriously Why am I still watching this show?

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Better Late Than Never, I Supose

Last night we attended the annual end of season baseball ice cream social at the high school. The social usually takes place in June, well before the seniors have scattered to far-flung corners of the world; this year, not so much. In fact the Man-Cub was the only senior left to attend the event.

Mikey and Tones both left the day after our luau. The other four seniors departed earlier this week. To say that the coach's planning was somewhat poor would be a vast understatement, but, at least we got to see the Cub pick up his final varsity athletic letter of his high school career.

I just wish the parents of my other boys could say the same.

As an aside, isn't it ironic that the cafeteria's welcome-back-to-school decor this season was done in a Hawaiian theme?

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

It's all Fun and Games Until Someone Pulls a Hammy

Did you see yesterday's post? 7 days until the Man-Cub officially becomes a college freshman, y'all. And, a resident of Hawaii. And, I become an empty-nester with no babies to spoil.

But, we aren't going to talk about that anymore (Head. Sand.).

This past Sunday, the Man-Cub played in his last baseball game. He almost didn't get to play-the team was lacking enough players due to vacations, and other commitments. But, Hugh swooped in to save the day, donning his old baseball pants and cleats and taking up a bat like it was second nature.

Well, second nature until he hit the ball and then had to actually run to first base, at which point he pulled his hamstring in a major way, leaving him limping to the base rather than running.

Luckily, the opposing team's first baseman has a terminal case of the butterfingers that day, and, despite moving at a crippled snail's pace, Hugh made it to base. The crowd went wild! Well, mom and I were the crowd, but, still.

It was a nice way for Hugh and the Cub to spend some final quality time together before we leave for Hawaii. And, even though Hugh has spent the past two days icing his leg and popping ibuprofen like it is candy, I don't think he would have missed it for the world.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Denial Ain't Just a River in Egypt

The Man-Cub checks into his dorm 7 days from now.

I'm going to let that sink in for a moment.

7 days.

I am...not ready. And, by not ready, I don't just mean mentally and emotionally, I mean logistically; the Cub has not packed a single item for the trip, we only just ordered his bedding and bathroom linens from Bed, Bath & Beyond on Saturday (we are utilizing their Pack and Hold program, which enabled us to pick everything out and to have it pulled for us at the store on Oahu, where we will pick it up next Monday), we haven't shipped a single box of his other possessions to the island (including any school supplies that he will need), and we haven't even looked into ordering his books.

I feel like putting all of this off for as long as we have has been sort of the clearest act of denial in the history of denial, and, that's not good.

It's time for me to pull my head out of the proverbial sand and get to it.

7 days. Jeebus Cripes.

Sunday, August 13, 2017

In Which We Pig Out

When I awoke to cloudy skies on Friday, I was certain that our luau was doomed. After all, it had rained almost incessantly since the beginning of August, so, why should that day be any different? And, although the forecast had promised sunny skies and warm temperatures, I know as well as anyone that Mother Nature doesn't follow the instructions of meteorologists and their fancy science crap.

So, I did what any self-respecting party planner would do; I prayed. Hard.

And, the good Lord did not disappoint me; he sent clouds, sprinkles, and gusty winds throughout the day (scuttling my plans to cover the tables with nice tablecloths), but, when 6:00 rolled around, the skies cleared, the sun shone bright, and, the winds died down to a light, refreshing breeze.

I never had a doubt.

None of my irrational fears materialized, either; people showed up (over 70), the pig was perfectly cooked and there was more than enough of it to feed the masses, and, most importantly, everyone had a good time. Oh, and that damn cake worked out. All in all, it was a perfectly well executed luau.

Not bad for a Colorado native and a transplant from the Big Apple.