The Long-Anticipated Return of Exercise-Induced Tourettes Syndrome

This past Tuesday, I again attended candlelight yoga, and, it is only just today that I can move without an uncontrollable stream of expletives erupting, unbidden, from my tongue.

I almost feel sorry for my office mates, but, then I remember that I declared our office an Expletive Safe Zone, and, the feeling goes away.

So, why so sore? Because the awesome, amazing, clearly masochistic yoga instructor introduced a new pose to our practice, something called Baby Grasshopper, which, requires one to basically levitate from the floor.

Think I'm kidding? Umm, no...

Come to find out, my levitation skills? Sub-par.

I am seriously reconsidering my dedication to this practice. Except, I just laid down cold hard cash for a membership to the yoga studio, so, unless I want to throw away good money, I guess I’ll be honing up on my levitation skills.

Or, strengthening my arms, legs, and core, and gaining the balance required to nail The Grasshopper.

Levitation actually sounds more attainable.

What's Up Wednesday, January 2019

Welcome to the first edition of What's Up Wednesday for the year 2019! Today, I'm linking up with Sheaffer and Shay, to regale you with the ordinary events in my very mundane life. How boring! Unless you're my mother, in which case, hi, Mom! On the other hand, I actually really enjoy reading about other people's lives, even the mundane parts, so; if that's also your jam, welcome! Let's get started!

What I'm Eating

So. Many. Salads. I'm on a quest for bikini perfection (or, as close to perfection as a middle-aged mother of two grown-ass adults can get, anyway) and I've been walking to the local supermarket every day for lunch; their salad bar is the best-stocked and freshest of those in Hooterville, and, it's only about four blocks away, so it's a doable round-trip on my lunch hour.

What I'm Reminiscing About

I haven't really been in a very reminiscent mood lately, but, am enjoying the now. This is a big deal for me, as I have often felt it difficult to stay in the moment without either looking back or planning forward. It's an odd place to find myself, but I'm actually enjoying it. Crap, I hope this isn't another sign of old age.

What I'm Loving

I never thought I would say this, but, I am loving the candlelight yoga class that my friend Erin and I have been attending on Tuesday evenings. The yoga studio, where we take the class, is owned by a woman who was once a stunt woman in Hollywood, and, who still lists sky diving among her hobbies. She is an amazing woman and a really great instructor, plus, she encourages laughter in her practice, which, is rather important when one is just starting to embrace yoga, but, has less balance than that of an elephant on a unicycle.

Another thing that I am loving is the diffuser that I picked up a few weeks back. My current favorite oil to diffuse is an immunity blend recommended by a friend at work. I missed the flu shot this year and I live with constant paranoia about getting sick; diffusing the oil gives me a (probably false) sense of security, plus, it smells amazing.

What I've Been Up To

Oh, you know, fighting the good fight against hot flashes and other signs of impending doom. I mean, not to be all dramatic or anything.

What I'm Dreading

Ummm...the next hot flash?

What I've Been Working On

I finally finished all of the year-end book work at the hardware store, which, is a huge relief. This is the earliest that I have accomplished this annual goal in all of the years that I have handled the finances there. That's something to celebrate, I think.

What I'm Excited About

Our trip to Maui is now only a little over a month away! Queen B and I have been counting down the days while filling our Amazon carts with all of the essential items required for ten days in paradise, as well as for the journey to get there. Favorite purchases include neck pillows for our flight, packing cubes, reef-safe sunscreen, bikinis, sarongs, and rash guards to protect us from sunburn while snorkeling (which, we intend to do a lot of).

What I'm Watching

Netflix has been bringing it, lately, with so many great shows!

The Sinner

I binge-watched the entire series in a day.

The Ranch

A couple of coworkers and the Man-Cub had all insisted that Hugh and I give this one a whirl, and, they weren't wrong in their recommendation. The show is set in a fictional town, purportedly just down the road from Hooterville and, we've been able to create a drinking game based on the number of times that something is mentioned in the series that we know, for a fact, doesn't exist anywhere near the supposed location. Mentions of Hooters? DRINK! Cracker Barrel? DRINK! Also, anytime a member of the cast is seen drinking a beer or taking a shot of whiskey, DRINK! Of course, if we actually played the game, we would be wasted All. The. Time., because, these things are frequently depicted on the show. Still, it's an enjoyable watch.

And, again, thank goodness for Netflix, because, Dish recently parted ways with most of the movie channels, (HBO and Cinemax, I'm looking at you), leaving a void in my viewing space. Happily, we still have Showtime, because, to lose it would be...

Shameless

(See what I did there?)

I love this show.  I love the Gallaghers. I am a bit concerned, however, about where it will go without Fiona and Ian; I mean, when a quarter of the family, on which a show is based, actually leaves the show; how successful can that show be? That said, if they don't find a way to give Fiona a happy ending, I'm going to be seriously irritated. Bonus points if that happy ending includes Jimmy/Steve.

A Discovery of Witches

I actually had to sign up for a free 7 Day trial of Sundance Now on Amazon Prime in order to watch this, and, I don't regret it for a minute; it would have even been worth the $6.99 a month, if the free trial wasn't an option.

My favorite way to watch the show is with a glass of good wine. In the tub. Living the dream, over here.

What I'm Reading

I've been on quite the reading spree, lately, finishing several books, including:

From Amazon: Nine people gather at a remote health resort. Some are here to lose weight, some are here to get a reboot on life, some are here for reasons they can’t even admit to themselves. Amidst all of the luxury and pampering, the mindfulness and meditation, they know these ten days might involve some real work. But none of them could imagine just how challenging the next ten days are going to be.

My verdict: It was good! It started out a bit slow, but the story built up quite nicely, and the ending was more than satisfying.

From Amazon: Single mother Maisey Addington has always fallen short of her own mother’s expectations—never married, a bit adrift, wasting her high IQ on dead-end jobs. The only thing Maisey’s sure she’s gotten right is her relationship with her twelve-year-old daughter, Elle…until a phone call blows apart the precarious balance of their lives. Maisey’s mother is in a coma, and her aging father faces charges of abuse and neglect.

Back at her childhood home, Maisey must make a heartrending life-or-death decision. Her confused father has destroyed family records, including her mother’s final wishes. Searching for answers, Maisey uncovers one unspeakable secret after another when she stumbles upon a shattering truth: a twin sister named Marley.

Maisey’s obsession with solving the mystery of her sister forces her to examine her darkest memories and triggers a custody battle with Elle’s father. Will Maisey’s love for her daughter be strong enough to break a cycle of abuse and create a new beginning for them all?

My verdict: Loved it! The characters are well developed, the story is engaging, and the ending is satisfying without being super schmaltzy. And, yes, schmaltzy is a word, at least according to the dictionary in my head.

From Amazon: Marnie MacGraw wants an ordinary life—a husband, kids, and a minivan in the suburbs. Now that she’s marrying the man of her dreams, she’s sure this is the life she’ll get. Then Marnie meets Blix Holliday, her fiancé’s irascible matchmaking great-aunt who’s dying, and everything changes—just as Blix told her it would.

When her marriage ends after two miserable weeks, Marnie is understandably shocked. She’s even more astonished to find that she’s inherited Blix’s Brooklyn brownstone along with all of Blix’s unfinished “projects”: the heartbroken, oddball friends and neighbors running from happiness. Marnie doesn’t believe she’s anything special, but Blix somehow knew she was the perfect person to follow in her matchmaker footsteps.

And Blix was also right about some things Marnie must learn the hard way: love is hard to recognize, and the ones who push love away often are the ones who need it most.

My verdict: It was cute. I don't often do cute, but, every once in a while, I like to cleanse my literary palate with something sweet and this book fit the bill. Is it a bit predictable? Yes. Schmaltzy? Oh, hell yes. But, it's an enjoyable read, nonetheless.

I started this...

...but was finding it hard to get into, despite the rave reviews that it has gotten from other bloggers and reviewers on Amazon, in general. I'm sure I'll eventually get back to it, but, I needed to take a break and start something new, which I did, with this book...

...which, I LOVED. And, yes, I also mentioned that I watched the first season of the television series based on this book earlier in this post; I talk more about the reasons why in this post, in case you are curious.

As you can see, the majority of books I read are downloaded to my Kindle, and, my favorite place to read them is on the couch, in front of the fireplace, with my trusty canine companion by my side...

What I'm Listening To

A few weeks ago, one of my co-workers brought in a stack of old albums that she was looking to get rid of. My office mates and I were interested in several of them, so, when another coworker then offered up an old record player for our office, we jumped at the chance. Since then, we have oldies playing on repeat (quietly, so as not to disturb the rest of the building, except; on the days that I host an impromptu dance party, blasting the music as loudly as I can, while my coworkers blow off some steam while showing off their best dance moves).

My contribution to our record collection was the Eagles Greatest Hits. Because it reminds me of my youth. Which, means that I am old. But, that I also have great taste in music.

What I'm Wearing

Is this a hint?

What I'm Doing This Weekend

Hopefully, NOT shoveling snow.

What I'm Looking Forward To

The above-mentioned trip to Maui, I mean, obviously!

What Else Is New

Nada.

Bonus question: What Is Your Family's Favorite Valentine's Day Tradition

We don't really have traditions around Valentine's Day. When the kids were small, we always made sure to have some small gift for them, either a box of chocolates or a stuffed animal, or some other trinket, but, since they've been grown, my efforts have gone into care packages with a Valentines theme, if they're lucky and I'm feeling generous.

Ok, that's a slight exaggeration; I'm always feeling generous (the Cub's February care package will most definitely have a Valentines theme).

Loving Lately: The Weekend Edition

Weekends this year certainly are treating me right, and, yes, I do know that we are only one month into the year, shhhhh....don't harsh my mellow.

I started this past weekend a day early, having fulfilled my weekly hours at Day Job by Thursday. I did have to spend some time at the hardware store, finishing up the year-end book work (finally done, done, done!!), but, otherwise, I was free to relax and re-energize.

Hugh was away at yet another wrestling tournament, so, it was just me and the dog for the majority of the weekend, except for Friday night, when Queen B came into town to visit an old friend. She spent the night with us and we made good use of our time, giving each other foot massages while watching Dateline reruns on Oprah's network (do we know how to party, or what? Also, what does our fascination with those real-life crime investigations say about us? Don't answer that; I don't think I want to know).

Boomer was super stoked to see Queen B (he loooooves her)...

...and, was determined to get in on the foot rubbing...

...he's a lovable goofball, that one. He's also an excellent guard dog; Saturday night, a loud crash from my office got both Boomer and I off the couch in a hurry (to clarify: I was on the couch, Booms was on his pad, Hugh). We didn't know it in that minute, but, a frame on the wall in my office had somehow slipped off it's nail, falling to the floor. Boomer put himself between me and the office and wouldn't let me go into the room until he had checked it out. It was really quite impressive and further fuels my curiosity about his life prior to coming to live with us.

Other than chilling with my daughter and dog, I spent part of the weekend working out and part of the weekend binge-watching A Discovery of Witches on Sundance Now. I was watching on my computer, but, wanted to soak my tired muscles in an Epsom salt bath, and; it occurred to me that I could actually take my computer upstairs, to the bathroom, and watch from the tub.

Why, in the name of all things good and holy, I never thought of that before will forever remain a mystery to me. But, you can bet that I will make good use of this new-found knowledge going forward. Also, a genius, I am not.

I am, however, mastering the relaxation portion of the weekend program. And, the next one is only four days away!

A Discovery of Witches...in My DNA

Hey, remember, last year, when Hugh bought me a DNA test from Ancestry.com for Christmas? Remember how excited I was to learn that my Dad had been correct all those times that he claimed we decended from Scots and Irish?

Well, in the past year, I have been checking back in with the website, discovering new connections and adding to the family trees on both my mother's and father's sides. As expected, I was able to trace quite a number of generations back on Mom's tree, and, was not terribly surprised by the large number of shared DNA matches that linked me to her German Euorpean roots; we do come from a long line of Catholics, after all.

What has come as a surprise were the connections that I have been able to make on my Dad's side of my family tree, or, more specifically, to the side of the tree connecting his mother's people. The biggest surprise of all? Tracing the women in the family has led clear back to the Salem Witch Trials, during which, two women with whom I share DNA were hanged for practicing magic.

I know, right?

Witches!

This goes miles in explaining my love for Halloween, don't you think? And, the best part? From now on, when I purchase new witch-themed decor', Hugh can't say a word! I'm embracing my ancestral rights to celebrate the pagan holidays (I'm going to get quite a bit of mileage out of that argument, just you watch)!

Anyhoodle, in keeping with my newfound genetic lineage, I recently finished reading this book...

...and am now looking forward to downloading the second book in the trilogy, because, of course the book is part of a trilogy; the number 3 is prevalent in the craft. In fact, The Rule of Three in wicca refers to the tenant that, anything you put out into the universe will return to you, threefold; it's like Karma...on steroids 

Also, Hugh is going to get realllly nervous about me knowing shit like that; he's always made off-cuff remarks about my intuition being scary-accurate, as it is.

I bet he won't come to regret purchasing that test at all.

Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Be Still My Heart

Last weekend, while cleaning out the drawers of my nightstand, I came across a certificate of achievement for Queen B. When I attempted to open my grandmother’s old cedar chest, which is where sentimental documents such as this go to die, I found that I was unable to pop the latch; most likely due to there being too much crap already buried inside.

I wrestled with the latch for quite a while before finally gaining entrance, and, decided that it was past time to clean out and reorganize the chest. As I was separating items, I came across a number of things that made me question my own sanity for having kept; mostly, entire newspapers, inside of which were single photos or articles of interest to our family. I carefully removed the pertinent pages from the papers and filled almost an entire garbage bag with the rest; giving myself plenty of room in the chest for the latch to open and close properly.

Next, I sorted through a plethora of cards, letters, elementary school artwork, programs from school plays and sporting events, report cards, and old photos; fully intending to get rid of as much of it as possible, but…

…my heart wouldn’t let me.

Those old programs show a level of talent heretofore unheard of by modern man!

That artwork is genius-level!

The report cards are proof positive that my kids belong in MENSA!

I can’t part with items of such historical value, I mean, clearly.

Although… this book, written by the Man-Cub upon his Middle School graduation, did cause me to question the MENSA membership…

…until I remembered that most geniuses also struggle with some form of dyslexia or other grammatical challenges, so…MENSA could still be on the table.

And, despite the atrocious spelling and the grammatical errors that make my inner Red-Pencil Critic itch to start circling; the sentiment is sweet.

I could have foregone the part where he declares that he will only require my services for four more years, however.

This letter made up for the slight… 

…although, not nearly as much as cashing in these long-forgotten Mother’s Day coupons will…

And that’s why you always include an expiration date, Man-Cub.

I'm especially going to enjoy the one that guarantees me "brekfust in bed"; fingers crossed for Eggs Benedict.

Riding it Out

Last night, I was awakened by hot flashes on three separate occasions. They came like clockwork, every two and a half hours, like contractions, only slightly less uncomfortable.

After experiencing hot flashes last March, you would think that I would know what to expect, but, this time around, the flashes build more slowly and arrive with less of the anxiety-producing "buzz" that I experienced the last go-around.

Buzz? What the hell do I even mean? Well, last year, prior to my body suddenly feeling like it was on fire, I would get a tingly-buzzing-nerve-like feeling that built up to a point that verged on panic-attack territory. The anxiety around that initial symptom far outweighed the discomfort of the actual hot flash, and, I came to dread the first tiny vibration that signaled an attack.

Thankfully, this go-round, I appear to be skipping the buzz and going straight to "holy Hannah, it's hot in here". This, I can deal with. Oh, I don't love it, but, if nature has to take its' course (and, it does); I can roll with it.

Besides, when else will it be appropriate to exclaim, "Damn, I'm hot!", fifty times a day, without sounding like I'm bragging?

Well, THAT Could Have Ended Badly

I just attended a meeting of Hooterville's local Think Tank (community partners who collaborate on a number of efforts).

The meeting was held at the admin office of the school district, and, I when I arrived, I was pleased to snag a front-row parking place, right next to the door to the Board room in which the meeting was being held.

The meeting itself went off without a hitch; loosely following the usual two-hour agenda, with lunch provided and emphasis placed on the same banal conversation that always takes place. It wasn't until after the meeting when things got exciting.

Or, embarrassing, depending on how you look at it; for the record, I go with embarrassing.

After the meeting, I gathered up my belongings and was headed for the door when I was stopped by a colleague who wanted to compliment me on my facilitation of a rather sensitive meeting earlier in the week. I chatted with the colleague for several minutes before finally heading to my car. On the way out the door, my cellphone rang with a call from Oscar, who needed me to run an errand for the hardware store on my way home.

While I was chatting with him, I approached my car, noticing that the door was unlocked, and, mentally kicking myself for being so careless.

When I opened the door, I was distressed to see that my bag, which I had thrown into the passenger seat when I left the office to head to the meeting, was missing. In the split-second that I noticed the missing bag, I also noticed that the car smelled strongly of cigarette smoke and that the leather on the driver's seat was cracked and well-worn.

Three thoughts simultaneously flew through my brain:

One: Fuck! Someone stole my bag!

Two: Huh. I don't smoke.

Three: How can a brand new car have such a jacked up seat...

...and, then, the fourth thought smacked me right upside the head, sending the previous three thoughts scattering to the wind...

This. Is. NOT. My Car.

Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck!

My car, I quickly noted, was parked directly to the right of the strange, stale-smelling car that I was attempting to enter.

My fifth thought involved the image of some poor, panicked car owner calling the police to report that a deranged lunatic of a woman, holding a cellphone to her ear and muttering obscenities to herself, was attempting to steal his/her car.

I quickly closed the door and scurried over to my car. This all happened while I carried on a perfectly normal-sounding conversation with my father-in-law, I might add. Which, either means that I am a master multi-tasker, or, that I am completely beyond help.

The jury is out.

Also, if you happened to be at the Hooterville School District admin building this afternoon at approximately 1:05 and saw a woman attempting to enter your car...I disavow any knowledge , whatsoever.

But, in the future, you might want to think about locking your doors.

Breaking Out of My Comfort Zone

Last night, Co-Worker Erin and I attended a candlelight yoga class at a fairly new studio in Hooterville. A what, you say? Candlelight? Yoga? How do those things even relate?

I know; I had the same questions when Erin approached me about joining her.

As it turns out, doing yoga in the dark is pretty enlightening.

See what I did there?

Ha!

Anyhoodle, the class was, indeed, conducted in a darkened room, with only the glow of electric candles to light our way. And, while we were initially pretty nervous-neither of us being yoga experts by any stretch of the imagination-the instructor made us feel right at home, and, dare I say it: graceful.

My biggest concern, going into it, was that I would have some involuntary and embarrassing bodily function (lots of fruits and veggies in the diet equals increased carbon dioxide emissions, if you get my drift), while Erin's primary concern was that her left boob would go rogue, jumping out of her old, stretched-out sports bra.

Happily, neither of those scenarios occurred, although, come to think of it, in a darkened studio, who would have seen an errant boob? And, if I had ripped a loud one, it could have easily been blamed on my neighbor and no one would be the wiser.

So, my take-aways from the class:

 One: Apparently our emotions are stored in our hips (who knew?).

 Two: I am a lot bendier than I thought I was.

Three: Erin needs a new sports bra.

Four: I am definitely going back next week.

Weekend Rewind

When I wrote last, I was about to embark on a weekend quest for relaxation, and, I am happy to report that the quest went well. So well, in fact, that I am considering a similar quest this coming weekend. Only five days to go!

Friday afternoon, immediately after hitting publish on that day's post, I jumped into my experiment with enthusiasm; I slipped into my most comfortable pajamas, fired up the Netflix, and started working on the creation of a Chelle-shaped divot on my couch; an indentation that I would revisit throughout the weekend.

Saturday morning, I managed to sleep in until 7:00. When I awoke, it was to three inches or so of new-fallen snow, which, required a shoveling, and, since Hugh was out of town until later that evening, it was up to me to handle (PS: Fuck you, Mother Nature). So, energized with coffee, armed with a shovel, and accompanied by my trusty canine sidekick, I hit the pavement; managing to shovel the entire driveway, sidewalk, back porch, and concrete pad around the dog kennel in just over an hour. So far, the "relaxation" portion of the weekend was a bust, but, I had worked up a sweat and was motivated to keep moving, which, inspired me to hit the gym for a date with my favorite treadmill.

Clearly, the weather was keeping the New Years Resolutionists at bay, because I once again had the gym all to myself. No complaints, here.

When I got back to the house, I started the process of making homemade chicken noodle soup, but, was felled by the early stages of a migraine before I got halfway through slicing the chicken breast for the pot. So, I quickly huffed my trusty Imitrex nasal spray and took a brief nap on the couch while it kicked in. As a side note, this is the third or fourth month that I have had a mid-cycle migraine, so, it's evident that my headaches are the result of Hormones Gone Wild (PS: Again, fuck you Mother Nature).

Anyhoodle, once I had a handle on the headache (800 mg of ibuprofen and a cup of iced coffee, as a chaser to the Imitrex, work wonders for me; I can actually function without wanting to die. True story), I returned to my soup preparations.

I also changed the essential oil in my new diffuser from lemongrass to peppermint, which is supposed to be good for headaches. I guess it worked, but, even if it hadn't, my house smelled like a candy cane, which is not at all unpleasant.

While all this was going on, I was also binge-watching The Sinner on Netflix. Highly, highly recommended, by the way.

I finished the day with a glass of wine and a home facial, including a clay mask that apparently scared the beejeezus out of my dog. I'll spare you a picture, lest it scare the beejeezus out of you as well.

Sunday morning, I hit the gym and the hardware store, getting those chores out of the way so that I could return to my couch indentation. I also did some bird watching from the breakfast nook window, where I saw this guy...

...the photo is from last year, when he first made an appearance in my yard. I still have no idea what kind of hawk he is, but, I have a sneaking suspicion that he is preying on the smaller birds that come to my feeder.

It would appear, however, that neither the cat, nor the dog, were impressed that he was lurking in the yard, so, maybe it isn't all that interesting.

Later in the evening, Hugh and I finally pulled the trigger on our reservations for our trip to Maui in March. We now have flights booked as well as a condo on the beach booked and paid for. I'm equal parts giddy and nervous since this is our first experience with VRBO. Fingers crossed that everything goes smoothly.

And, that was about it for my relaxing weekend of semi-hibernation. It really was a lot more pleasant than this post might make it appear, and, as I said, it is an experiment that I am looking to repeat.

Again, only five days to go...

Birds Do It, Pregnant Women Do It, and, Now, I'm Gonna Do It

I just survived my first full work week since 2018! This shouldn't feel like huge accomplishment, but, there it is; over-achiever, I am not.

But, enough about work; we now stand at the thresh hold to the weekend! I don't have major plans for the next two days, but, instead, plan to practice some grade-A nesting. To that end, I have purchased a new duvet for my bed, an oil diffuser and some relaxing essential oils, plus the ingredients for homemade chicken noodle soup and a bottle of good wine. I've got Shameless and The Ranch queued up on Netflix, a couple of new books downloaded to my Kindle, and some muscle-relaxing Epsom salts ready to sprinkle in the bathtub.

I may never leave the house.

Except to hit the gym (the Countdown to Hawaii stands at 51 days).

Oh, and to do some bookkeeping at the hardware store, lest I forget that I have a weekend job on top of Day Job.

Not thinking about that right now...

...cozy nesting, here I come.

Oh, Look! Another Day in the Life

I have done a few of these “Day in the Life” posts over the years, and, ironically, they appear to all have been done at roughly the same time of year. I am really going to have to make an effort to do it again this summer, when there is (theoretically) more going on in my life. Until then, here is a rather dull documentation of a typical day in my life.

Monday: 5:09 a.m.

Roll out of bed, following one hit of the old snooze button. Shower, shave, blah, blah, blah. Throw on some make-up.

6:00 a.m.

Head downstairs, make coffee, feed the natives…

…gently encourage the dog to go outside for his morning constitutional…finally give up on the “gentle” portion of the program and order him to suck it up and brave the sub-zero temperatures; a little ice in the pee-stream never hurt anyone.

Fire up the gas fireplace, drink coffee, check email, do online banking for the store, and watch the news; generally enjoy the relaxed pace of Monday morning (the only day of the workweek that I don’t have to go into the hardware store before hitting Day Job).

7:45 a.m.

Head to Hooterville for work. Mentally remind myself that I have decided to practice less road rage aimed at the assholes who abuse the passing lane (It’s meant for PASSING, you IDIOTS!).

7:46

Fail at practicing less road rage aimed at assholes abusing the passing lane.

8:05 a.m.

Arrive at Day Job. Start working on latest quarterly report, check email, update co-workers on case loads and client intel, track accomplishments on this quarter’s Wellness Program project, which, is a thirty-day self care challenge; marvel at how freakishly difficult it is to actually practice consistent self care. No wonder my back and shoulders are a mess, my sleep patterns are jacked, and, I often find that I have to remind myself to breathe.

10:25 a.m.

Remind myself to get up and walk; ten laps around the building equals 1000 steps, and, I try to do it once every hour.

11:00 a.m.

Pop out for a quick run to the bank to make a deposit and to Target, for CO2 replacement canisters for my Soda Stream. Fall down the Target Rabbit Hole and spend entirely too much time perusing the Dollar Spot and entirely too much money in the clothing section, where swimwear lines the racks in a brightly colored, and hypnotic, display. Remind myself that Maui is only 54 days away (as reported to me by Queen B, who actually has an app on her phone solely for that purpose).

12:00 p.m.

Head back to the office, grab a quick frozen diet entrée for lunch (that new bikini isn’t going to wear itself!). Pretend to be remotely satisfied.

1:00 p.m.

Take a break from working on the job analysis questionnaire that will ultimately change my job description for the fourth time in six years (but, who’s counting?) to drink some bubbly water and sniff a container of Vicks (still fighting the same head cold that has been trying to gain a foothold in my sinuses since before Christmas).

1:10-4:45 p.m.

Walk around the building several more times, finally achieving my 10,000 step goal for the day (that’s 10,000 steps minimum; I actually usually fall into the 12,000-15,000 step range).

4:45 p.m.

Leave work and head back home, where I meet Hugh and the kids.

6:15-8:30 p.m.

Head back into Hooterville for dinner at the Man-Cub’s favorite place-a brewpub that serves the best hamburgers, wings, and craft beers. Force my offspring to pose for pictures on the novelty barstools, because nothing says fun like a giant ass or two…

…after dinner, pose for one last family selfie before heading home (the Cub left for school this morning, so it was our final meal together as a family; at least until we are reunited in Maui in March).

10:00 p.m.

Hit the hay, hoping for a good night’s sleep.

And, that’s it, Scintillating, I know. As I said at the beginning of this post, I really do need to attempt one of these things on a day that there is actually something of interest on which to report.

I wouldn’t hold my breath, if I were you.

The Winter Blues

I don't remember getting a single snowfall last year (it probably happened, but, was minimal enough not to register in my memory banks), which is one of the reasons that Colorado experienced drought conditions this past summer.

Happily (for the farmers, ranchers, boaters, etc.), we have already entertained two large snowstorms so far this year. And, happily (for me), Hugh has been home to shovel for each of them.

And, by shovel, I obviously mean use the snowblower. And, guess who loves the heck out of a good snow blowing? If your answer was Boomer, then you would be correct.

 

With the end of the holidays, Hugh will return to his officiating gig, which means he will be out of town a lot again. So, there is a very real possibility that I will be shoveling again at some point. Or, I could learn how to use the damn snowblower, which would probably be a dream come true for the dog.

Easier on me, too, truth be told.

Winter. Bleh.

Only three more months, only three more months, only three more months...