Because We Don't Have Enough to Do...

The Man-Cub started wrestling practice at 6:30 this morning. Practice ended at 7:48. The morning bell rings at 8:00. Our home is approximately a one-minute drive from the school which gave the Cub approximately 9 minutes to shower, dress, and to brush his teeth and hair before jumping back in the car with a cereal bar and a smoothie for the race back to the school.

He was on time. Barely. Steps are being taken to eliminate this mad dash tomorrow, I assure you. And, by "steps", I mean that the child will be showering in the locker room at school despite his  reluctance to do so and his impassioned declaration that, in the event that he MUST shower at the school, he will be wearing his swimsuit. Boys are weird.

In other wrestling news; Hugh was chosen to officiate at the state wrestling tournament again this year. It's an honor for him and we are proud. On the other hand, the tournament takes place on the same weekend that I am required to drive The Teenager to Denver for a volleyball tournament and I hate driving in the city; it would have been really nice to have my husband with us to do the heavy lifting. I'll get over it.

 In news not at all related to wrestling; February is once again upon us. This means two things, one: large heart-shaped boxes of evil-coated goodies will magically appear on store shelves (I know, who am I kidding; those boxes appeared the day after Christmas) and, two: Lent starts, rendering the contents of those large heart-shaped boxes useless to me.

My recent addiction to dark chocolate-covered pomegranate seeds will be a tough habit to break but, I'm confident that I can do it. In addition to giving up chocolate and all things candy-related; I also plan to give up junk food, in general. I think this will present a bigger challenge than sweets, alone and; I'm up for it (the recent spread of my ass providing a fabulous motivator).

Speaking of challenges; Jana and I have challenged each other to live healthier lives and, as an incentive to do so, have set July 4th as the date that we will wear bikinis on the boat without covering up with layer upon layer of t-shirts, shorts and self-loathing. This gives us five months in which to get our asses in shape or in which to find magic bikinis that make us look good. I'm not sure which of the two would be a bigger challenge, honestly.

A Finntastic Update

It was a year ago, today, that we lost Gilligan. We still miss him but, Finnigan has been a great comfort to us in our grief. When he isn't gnawing on my ankles or using me as a human pin cushion for his claws, that is.

Although he is now about five months old, Finn has retained some of his more kitten-like qualities, specifically, his desire to nurse. He's pretty particular about what he nurses on, preferring either The Teenager's or the Man-Cub's fingers over mine or Hugh's. The Man-Cub is a bit more patient with him than The Teenager so, he is Finnigan's most frequent target.

Next month, Finn goes in to be neutered and declawed. The vet seems to think that will calm him down a bit but, I'm not convinced and, frankly; I would miss his antics were that to happen.

I wouldn't miss the ankle-biting one bit, however.

And They All Lived Happily Ever After

I have a cold and it is making me miserable. I have no desire to do much of anything except to snuggle under a blanket on my couch, watching episodes of ABC's Once Upon a Time, which; has been the inspiration for the following thoughts (although you could also blame the Nyquil. Your call):

-The seven dwarfs have got nothing on me; I am currently Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy and Dopey.

- I probably need to see a Doc but I am too Lazy (Lazy was a cousin dwarf. Really. Look it up).

- If I could just get over this cold, I would be Happy.

-Who the hell was the seventh dwarf? Oh, yes; Bashful. Yeah, that's never gonna happen.

-Hey, the Seven Dwarfs could ride Santa's reindeer with one left to spare. I bet they would eat it. Waste not, want not and all that.

-Spellcheck just informed me that Snow White's little friends were dwarfs, not dwarves.

-I completely wasted my parents' money on that English Degree.

-Prince Charming is hot.

-A glass coffin seems like a really bad idea.

-I left my tea in the kitchen and my throat is killing me; where are the Fairy Godmothers when you really need one?

-Mary Margaret Blanchard has a really unfortunate wardrobe.

-I could never wear a knit beanie on my head; I would look completely goofy.

-Wasn't Goofy a dwarf? No, wait, he was a dog. In a vest and pants.

-Walt Disney must have done drugs.

Speaking of which, it's time for more Nyquil.

This Post Approved by Katy Perry

After my women's club meeting today, one of my fellow members complimented me on my appearance. She suggested that I was pretty enough to be a movie star attending the Sundance Film Festival.

I've never wanted to kiss another woman before in my life, but; I think I might have had she let me.

Not that I tried. I'm just saying.

Slipping Back on the Rose Colored Glasses

Friday night, when I should have been organizing the food for the weekend volleyball tournament, Hugh and I were, instead, out late; watching our local community theater's production of Whose Life is it, Anyway? However, the play was so awesomely done that, when five o'clock rolled around the following morning, I couldn't complain too much about being tired; it was totally worth the lack of sleep.

Now, when I saw five o'clock again the following morning, that was another story; complaints, galore, people. Complaints. Galore.

I'm kidding (mostly). The Teenager's volleyball tournament was almost as much fun as the play. Actually, since I got to see one of my college roomies and her family, it was probably even more fun.

And, the girls played really well for their first tournament as a team. In addition, The Teenager got to play more in one weekend than she played all of last season for the Hooterville team and her new team beat the girls from Hooterville to boot. So, no complaints about the tournament.

Actually, no complaints at all; the coach, whom, if you will remember, gave us pause just a few months ago; has turned out to be more than fair and pleasant. She is rocking a rather disturbing mullet but, I am trying really hard to remind myself not to be such a judgmental toad about stupid things (New Years resolution #2) and, for the most part, I am succeeding.

As I said earlier, I was the mom in charge of food for the tournament and even that went better than I would have expected. And, I'm done with the chore for the season. Unless the other parents don't step up which, I suppose could happen but; why borrow trouble, right (New Years resolution #1: Stress Less Over Stupid Shit. WINNING!)?

And, despite waking up this morning with a raging sinus infection (I'm guessing. It's not like I'm going to see an actual doctor or anything); I have to say that things are looking up.

Mt glass is half-full once again.

Well Clarice, Have the Lambs Stopped Screaming?

We are doing some remodeling at the hardware store and today's chores included some minor rewiring. Unfortunately, the rewiring required Hugh to lower himself into the crawlspace below the store; a space crawling with bugs and spiders and God knows what else.

Because I am a supportive wife, I held the trap door open for him while spouting such entertaining gems as "It puts the lotion in the basket! It rubs the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again!"

Hugh was not amused.

You would think that after eighteen years of marriage he would understand my humor.

Confucius Say: Life is Really Simple But We Insist on Making it Difficult

This morning The Teenager and I went to the High School at an ungodly hour to attend a meeting of our service club and, my co-sponsor failed to show up. Actually, that's inaccurate; she showed up four minutes before the first bell rang. Had The Teenager hung around, she would have been late for her first class and that didn't sit well with me.

Tomorrow night, we are supposed to host an all-night literacy event for the Middle School kids. I have received no detailed information on the event and, due to the fact that The Teenager and I have to be in Neighboring Town for a volleyball tournament early Saturday morning; will be unable to help for longer than a few hours. I feel bad about that but, had I been involved in the planning, I could have suggested a date that might have worked better for us.

My struggle with this situation obviously boils down to two things: one, my co-sponsor and I have wildly divergent communication skills and, two, we approach event planning in very different ways. I'm not trying to be judgmental here, or, to say that my way is better, but; our club is suffering due to these differences and I'm not sure how much longer it can continue like this. All of which feels like a failure on my part. A huge failure.

Worrying and stressing about this issue has taken up a lot of my personal head space, recently and; I don't like that. This morning, I finally arrived at the conclusion that; if the club goes away, life will still go on. Yeah, the kids will have fewer opportunities to fulfill their community service requirements for graduation and the community in general will lose a great asset but, life will rush in to fill in the blanks; it always does.

And, it won't mean that I have failed; it will simply mean that I needed to take a step back, to regroup and to refocus on ways that I can be of better service. I mean, failure doesn't lie in the attempt, failure lies in the unwillingness to try.

I'm sort of amazed at how much better I feel simply for realizing that fact. Or, for admitting it to myself, anyway.

It's almost as though I am evolving into an adult or something.