But, Where Is the Rest of the Lonely Hearts Club Band?
The instructor of my class just showed up and she is wearing an emerald green cropped military jacket. No, really. It has shoulder epaulets and fringe, all it is missing is a gold braid to complete the look.
This class comes highly recommended but, I’m not entirely sure it bodes well that I am taking a public speaking class from Sgt. Pepper.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Monday, June 11, 2007
Only The Lazy Resort To Blogging In Bullet Points
I just got back from taking The Girl for a check-up at the pediatrician. I hadn’t taken her for a routine physical in ages and, with her starting Middle School later this summer (I just threw up in my mouth a little); I figured it was time.
Apparently, it was more like past time since she, as it turns out; she needed five shots. Yes, five; three basic inoculations (think Hepatitis A, etc.) plus a booster for the Chicken Pox vaccine and, just for the heck of it; the first in a series of three shots of Gardisil to prevent HPV. So, that was fun.
Of course, The Girl was brave as usual, and is very happy to report that she is officially vaccinated against Middle School Cooties. Oh! And she is in the 25th percentile for weight and in the 55th percentile for height; I'm thinking of changing her name to String Bean.
In other news, our weekend was crazy-busy. I wish I had time to elaborate on it in its entirety but, I have a week’s worth of work to do today because I will be attending a class for the next three days and won’t have time to work at my usual (and glacial) pace and still get everything finished. So, I’m not lazy, I’m efficient. Thus: My Weekend In Bullet-Form.
Friday
*The Man-Cub’s team won their game Friday night 17-1.
*I ate my weight in Cheese-Its crackers and peanut butter M&Ms. PMS, anyone?
Saturday
*Got a haircut and covered the grey for what I swear is the last time. Last time, damnit!
*Took the Man-Cub to the Farmer’s Market, the library, a parade and a Mexican Fiesta, where The Girl was helping a friend from school sell snow-cones to a million sweaty children. It. Was. Hot.
*Bought and planted five tomato, two basil and two cilantro plants.
*Shook my fist at the heavens and cursed sunstroke.
*Drank my weight in iced tea while rocking on the front porch as the Man-Cub played in the sprinklers with the neighborhood kids.
*Kissed Hugh good-bye as he and his bowling team left for Reno. Eyed the golf clubs that he casually tossed into the back of his buddy’s van suspiciously.
*Fell asleep on the couch while watching The Illusionist.
*Wondered when Netflix declares a movie officially Missing and charges your credit card for its full value.
Sunday
*Weeded the front flower beds.
*Did enough laundry to clothe a small nation.
*Drove the children to the neighboring city to buy new shorts and capris for The Girl (because she reached the 55th percentile for height, like overnight).
*Called Hugh on his cell phone and interrupted him mid-putt on a golf course in Eli, Nevada. Well, excuuuuse me.
*Bought a pair of knee-length shorts because The Girl swore that they are all the rage and that they look good on everyone.
*Refrained from killing The Girl on the spot when she burst into laughter upon seeing me in my new knee-length shorts later that day.
*Inhaled a Starbucks venti orange frappuccino. Declared it my new favorite drink. Was seized by massive Brain Freeze and spent the rest of the day recovering from the resulting ice-cream headache.
*Watched the series finale of The Sopranos. What. The. Fuck? David Chase and HBO got some ‘splaining to do.
Which brings us to today and, as I told you, I am crazy busy. So, I should get to work. Or, to Starbucks for a venti orange frappuccino. Of course, this time I will drink it, slowly.
I just got back from taking The Girl for a check-up at the pediatrician. I hadn’t taken her for a routine physical in ages and, with her starting Middle School later this summer (I just threw up in my mouth a little); I figured it was time.
Apparently, it was more like past time since she, as it turns out; she needed five shots. Yes, five; three basic inoculations (think Hepatitis A, etc.) plus a booster for the Chicken Pox vaccine and, just for the heck of it; the first in a series of three shots of Gardisil to prevent HPV. So, that was fun.
Of course, The Girl was brave as usual, and is very happy to report that she is officially vaccinated against Middle School Cooties. Oh! And she is in the 25th percentile for weight and in the 55th percentile for height; I'm thinking of changing her name to String Bean.
In other news, our weekend was crazy-busy. I wish I had time to elaborate on it in its entirety but, I have a week’s worth of work to do today because I will be attending a class for the next three days and won’t have time to work at my usual (and glacial) pace and still get everything finished. So, I’m not lazy, I’m efficient. Thus: My Weekend In Bullet-Form.
Friday
*The Man-Cub’s team won their game Friday night 17-1.
*I ate my weight in Cheese-Its crackers and peanut butter M&Ms. PMS, anyone?
Saturday
*Got a haircut and covered the grey for what I swear is the last time. Last time, damnit!
*Took the Man-Cub to the Farmer’s Market, the library, a parade and a Mexican Fiesta, where The Girl was helping a friend from school sell snow-cones to a million sweaty children. It. Was. Hot.
*Bought and planted five tomato, two basil and two cilantro plants.
*Shook my fist at the heavens and cursed sunstroke.
*Drank my weight in iced tea while rocking on the front porch as the Man-Cub played in the sprinklers with the neighborhood kids.
*Kissed Hugh good-bye as he and his bowling team left for Reno. Eyed the golf clubs that he casually tossed into the back of his buddy’s van suspiciously.
*Fell asleep on the couch while watching The Illusionist.
*Wondered when Netflix declares a movie officially Missing and charges your credit card for its full value.
Sunday
*Weeded the front flower beds.
*Did enough laundry to clothe a small nation.
*Drove the children to the neighboring city to buy new shorts and capris for The Girl (because she reached the 55th percentile for height, like overnight).
*Called Hugh on his cell phone and interrupted him mid-putt on a golf course in Eli, Nevada. Well, excuuuuse me.
*Bought a pair of knee-length shorts because The Girl swore that they are all the rage and that they look good on everyone.
*Refrained from killing The Girl on the spot when she burst into laughter upon seeing me in my new knee-length shorts later that day.
*Inhaled a Starbucks venti orange frappuccino. Declared it my new favorite drink. Was seized by massive Brain Freeze and spent the rest of the day recovering from the resulting ice-cream headache.
*Watched the series finale of The Sopranos. What. The. Fuck? David Chase and HBO got some ‘splaining to do.
Which brings us to today and, as I told you, I am crazy busy. So, I should get to work. Or, to Starbucks for a venti orange frappuccino. Of course, this time I will drink it, slowly.
Friday, June 08, 2007
It’s All About Meme
I got tagged with this by Sparky Duck a while back and never quite got around to doing it because, well, I suck. Today, I was tagged for it again by Dana and I figured it was a sign or something and that I should get off my lazy patootie and just do it already so, here it is.
What were you doing ten years ago?
Ten years ago, today? Um…so that’s like, what, 1997…OH MY GOD, I was stressing over the planning of my high school reunion. Ha! Sooo glad I’m not doing that again right now, no offense to Old Classmate, of course.
What were you doing one year ago?
Um….well, let me just take a lookie here in my old day planner….apparently; I was home with a sick child. Huh. That was no doubt the day The Girl tried her level best to completely expel her stomach lining. I remember it like it was yesterday; it took me three weeks and five different products to get that stain out of the new carpeting.
Five snacks you enjoy.
Cheese-Its
Baked Lays, BBQ flavor
Tortilla Chips and Mexican seven-layer dip
popcorn
Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream
Five songs that you know all the lyrics to.
The National Anthem. What! I can’t help that I’m a patriotic American.
Funky Music by Wild Cherry
Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot
The Lion Sleeps Tonight
I’ve Got Friends in Low Places by the Garth
As an aside, I never claimed to have good taste in music.
Five things you would do if you were a millionaire.
Take my entire family and my friends and their families to Disneyworld for an all-expense paid vacation.
Travel across Europe
Pay for the education of my kids as well as that of my niece and nephews
Make large contributions toward cancer research
Advance my platform for World Peace
Five bad habits.
Diet Pepsi
Gossiping about others
Cracking my knuckles
Buying stupid things on impulse
Procrastinating at work
Five things you like doing.
Taking pictures
Spending time with my family and friends
Buying stupid things on impulse
Cooking
Relaxing in a hot bath
Five favorite toys.
Pardon me for just a sec while I…toys! hee,hee,hee,hee..and done. Where was I? Right!
My Canon Digital Rebel
My iPod Nano
My computer
The GPS system in the new car
Anything that keeps the kids occupied while I play with my,um..toys..hee!
I know I am supposed to tag someone else with this but, everyone I would tag has already played so; I guess we will just have to come up with something new, now, won’t we?
Challenge!
I got tagged with this by Sparky Duck a while back and never quite got around to doing it because, well, I suck. Today, I was tagged for it again by Dana and I figured it was a sign or something and that I should get off my lazy patootie and just do it already so, here it is.
What were you doing ten years ago?
Ten years ago, today? Um…so that’s like, what, 1997…OH MY GOD, I was stressing over the planning of my high school reunion. Ha! Sooo glad I’m not doing that again right now, no offense to Old Classmate, of course.
What were you doing one year ago?
Um….well, let me just take a lookie here in my old day planner….apparently; I was home with a sick child. Huh. That was no doubt the day The Girl tried her level best to completely expel her stomach lining. I remember it like it was yesterday; it took me three weeks and five different products to get that stain out of the new carpeting.
Five snacks you enjoy.
Cheese-Its
Baked Lays, BBQ flavor
Tortilla Chips and Mexican seven-layer dip
popcorn
Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream
Five songs that you know all the lyrics to.
The National Anthem. What! I can’t help that I’m a patriotic American.
Funky Music by Wild Cherry
Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-a-Lot
The Lion Sleeps Tonight
I’ve Got Friends in Low Places by the Garth
As an aside, I never claimed to have good taste in music.
Five things you would do if you were a millionaire.
Take my entire family and my friends and their families to Disneyworld for an all-expense paid vacation.
Travel across Europe
Pay for the education of my kids as well as that of my niece and nephews
Make large contributions toward cancer research
Advance my platform for World Peace
Five bad habits.
Diet Pepsi
Gossiping about others
Cracking my knuckles
Buying stupid things on impulse
Procrastinating at work
Five things you like doing.
Taking pictures
Spending time with my family and friends
Buying stupid things on impulse
Cooking
Relaxing in a hot bath
Five favorite toys.
Pardon me for just a sec while I…toys! hee,hee,hee,hee..and done. Where was I? Right!
My Canon Digital Rebel
My iPod Nano
My computer
The GPS system in the new car
Anything that keeps the kids occupied while I play with my,um..toys..hee!
I know I am supposed to tag someone else with this but, everyone I would tag has already played so; I guess we will just have to come up with something new, now, won’t we?
Challenge!
You Don't Say...
...I would have pegged myself more as a dirty Merlot.
...I would have pegged myself more as a dirty Merlot.
| You Are Chardonnay |
 Fresh, spirited, and classic - you have many facets to your personality. You can be sweet and light. Or deep and complex. You have a little bit of something to offer everyone... no wonder you're so popular. Approachable and never smug, you are easy to get to know (and love!). Deep down you are: Dependable and modest Your partying style: Understated and polite Your company is enjoyed best with: Cold or wild meat |
Thursday, June 07, 2007
In Which I Could Say I Told You SoJust got an email from Old Classmate, you remember Old Classmate, the poor sap who volunteered to plan our 20th High School Reunion? Of course you do. Anyhoodle, the email was sent to everyone in our class for whom she has an email address and in it, she was Very Angry. Angry and disappointed and disgusted that a larger number of our classmates had not yet bothered to RSVP for the event. Angry, disappointed and disgusted that she had only received a handful of checks from those who had responded (mine being one of them, of course). Angry, disappointed and disgusted that our class is so lame! If she doesn’t have those checks in hand in another week, she is canceling the whole thing! That’s right; she will take her ball and go home.
I laughed, y’all. Hard.
And, I said a little hallelujah and got myself a donut from the break room.
After some reflection however; I came to the conclusion that the Very Angry email will illicit a prompt response from those members of our class who can be counted upon to attend the reunion and that it will scare off the losers amongst the set (which, really, isn’t such a bad thing) and thus, the reunion will go on as planned, although slightly less well-attended than idealized by Old Classmate. So, Operation Hottie by July shall recommence.
Right after I eat this donut.
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
In Which Our Parenting Practices Could Be Called Into Question
We played our first baseball game of the season last night and, by we; I of course mean, the Cub and his teammates because it certainly isn’t like the other moms and I were out there playing our hearts out and, I digress.
Run on, sentence, run on!
Anyhoodle, the boys played an awesome game and with the final score of 17-2; we won by a record fifteen runs. Of course, had we won by even one point, it would have been a record for us; we didn’t play quite so well last year. No, wait that’s not entirely accurate; we won one game last year, ironically; also by one point but, who’s keeping score right? As long as the boys have fun and learn the fundamentals, that is all that matters.
And, let me tell you, Hugh and his co-coaches put the fun in fundamental; the boys have a blast at every practice.
In news of my other child, you know, the one with a job, I am pleased to report; responsibility looks good one her. Yesterday, we let her ride her bike to work after spending an hour alone in the house between the time Hugh had to leave to take the Cub to wrestling camp, the time I had to leave to be at work and the time that she was actually scheduled to start her shift. She was fine; she even called my cell phone to let me know that she was leaving the house. She called again when she arrived at the store, two blocks away to playfully inform me that; "the eagle has landed, mother".
On a side note, I cannot believe that I just told the Internet that I left my daughter home alone. I suppose I should mention that we have an alarm system and that my daughter has a blackbelt in keriyaki which, while being one of the lesser-known Martial arts, is the most deadly. Also, we own a vicious attack dog. Oh! And guns.
And, just in case that doesn’t deter you, I should also mention that my daughter is not a morning person and that she has been staying up waaay past her bedtime, lately. Also, she seems to have developed a strange fungus on her tongue recently and, while we can't be entirely certain; it is probably contagious. And, deadly.
We played our first baseball game of the season last night and, by we; I of course mean, the Cub and his teammates because it certainly isn’t like the other moms and I were out there playing our hearts out and, I digress.
Run on, sentence, run on!
Anyhoodle, the boys played an awesome game and with the final score of 17-2; we won by a record fifteen runs. Of course, had we won by even one point, it would have been a record for us; we didn’t play quite so well last year. No, wait that’s not entirely accurate; we won one game last year, ironically; also by one point but, who’s keeping score right? As long as the boys have fun and learn the fundamentals, that is all that matters.
And, let me tell you, Hugh and his co-coaches put the fun in fundamental; the boys have a blast at every practice.
In news of my other child, you know, the one with a job, I am pleased to report; responsibility looks good one her. Yesterday, we let her ride her bike to work after spending an hour alone in the house between the time Hugh had to leave to take the Cub to wrestling camp, the time I had to leave to be at work and the time that she was actually scheduled to start her shift. She was fine; she even called my cell phone to let me know that she was leaving the house. She called again when she arrived at the store, two blocks away to playfully inform me that; "the eagle has landed, mother".
She’s been trained well.
On a side note, I cannot believe that I just told the Internet that I left my daughter home alone. I suppose I should mention that we have an alarm system and that my daughter has a blackbelt in keriyaki which, while being one of the lesser-known Martial arts, is the most deadly. Also, we own a vicious attack dog. Oh! And guns.
And, just in case that doesn’t deter you, I should also mention that my daughter is not a morning person and that she has been staying up waaay past her bedtime, lately. Also, she seems to have developed a strange fungus on her tongue recently and, while we can't be entirely certain; it is probably contagious. And, deadly.
Be afraid, would-be-stalkers, be very afraid.
Monday, June 04, 2007
It Takes a Long Time to Grow and Old Friend- John Leonard
Friday evening, the kids and I met Jana at the pool for the D-Man’s eighth birthday party. While the kids splashed around in the water, Jana and I cut the ice cream cake and mused over the fact that the Man-Cub and the D-Man have known each other their entire lives.
Minus the eight months that the Man-Cub was alive before the D-Man, that is. But, since he was mostly unaware back then, those eight months totally don't count. Which means that the boys have been friends since the cradle; that’s pretty cool.
Sunday evening, Hugh and I hosted a BBQ. The guests of honor were Oscar’s best friend since childhood and his wife who were visiting from New York. Oscar and Ira get together about once every couple of years to relive the good old days and it was really sweet to watch two grown men rag on each other like long-lost brothers; I could only wonder if the Cub and the D-Man will end up like that.
Friday evening, the kids and I met Jana at the pool for the D-Man’s eighth birthday party. While the kids splashed around in the water, Jana and I cut the ice cream cake and mused over the fact that the Man-Cub and the D-Man have known each other their entire lives.
Minus the eight months that the Man-Cub was alive before the D-Man, that is. But, since he was mostly unaware back then, those eight months totally don't count. Which means that the boys have been friends since the cradle; that’s pretty cool.
Sunday evening, Hugh and I hosted a BBQ. The guests of honor were Oscar’s best friend since childhood and his wife who were visiting from New York. Oscar and Ira get together about once every couple of years to relive the good old days and it was really sweet to watch two grown men rag on each other like long-lost brothers; I could only wonder if the Cub and the D-Man will end up like that.
I can think of worse things.
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