WWTTD?

Raising kids is hard. Raising a teenaged daughter is really hard, and, every once in a while, my daughter throws a parenting issue at me; an issue that contains a problem that I cannot immediately solve, or, one that leaves me feeling helpless or, you know, totally freaked out. When that happens, I ask myself; What Would Tami Taylor Do? And, more often than not, I find the strength to tackle the challenge, exhibiting what I can only hope is a Taylor-like grace.

Today was such a day.

And, now, I am going to drink a glass of wine;  because it's what Tami would do.

 Y'all are gonna need a bigger wine glass... 

What Big Eyes You Have

Please enjoy this totally gratuitous picture of my cat.

 I will also show you a picture of Hugh's cat, but, be forwarned that Finnigan is currently suffering from a gunky eye; a gunky eye that is no doubt the result of a swift kick to the face, delivered by the above preshus darling. I was not kidding when I said Guinness is giving as good as he gets.

Not kidding at all.

Can you believe that little bastard kicked me in the face? I mean, what did I ever do to him? Gah!

The Little Engine That Could

As of today, I have gone eleven days with out Diet Pepsi. While that's not exactly a record for me (Six weeks during Lent of 2009 or 2010, I believe); it is still pretty impressive. Jana asked me if I feel any differently than I feel when I am drinking the soda and I can honestly say that...I do not.

In an effort not to simply trade an iced tea habit for the Diet Pepsi habit; I have increased my water consumption. I'm not just drinking plain ole water, however; I am drinking something called Sassy Water. Sassy Water is a concoction created by the folks at Prevention Magazine; the recipe calls for water (duh), one sliced cucumber (Why, yes; I do hate cucumbers, thank you for remembering), one sliced lemon, numerous mint leaves and a teaspoon of grated ginger root.

The water is supposed to flush the digestive system, and, when consumed in conjunction with a specific diet; to help you lose up to five pounds of belly fat, or some such thing. I wouldn't know, because, I am not following the diet. As far as the water flushing my system goes, I have no idea if it's working or not. Jana asked me if I feel any different since starting the water and I can honestly say that...I do not.

I do have to pee approximately ten million times a day as well as dealing with the after-taste of cucumber (gack) in my throat for half an hour after every sip, but, otherwise, nada.

So, when The Teenager asked me if I intend to stay off the Diet Pepsi, like, forever; I said "Probably not". Indeed, I'll enjoy an occasional soda; I just want to limit my daily consumption. She wondered why and I said "Because I can".

And, apparently, I really can.

It should be noted, however, that S(assy) Water is no substitute for the sweet nectar of the Soda gods. I'm just saying.

Sassy Water: Looks refreshing; tastes like ass.

Half-Assed Recipe From the Garden: Cucumber Salad

One of Hugh's favorite things to eat in the world is creamy cucumber salad. In fact, his love of the cucumber salad is the only reason that cucumbers get planted in my garden since I am not really a fan of the vegetable, in fact; I hates it.

So, what grows the best in my garden? Cucumbers, because of course they do.

Anyway, here is a half-assed attempt to present how I make Hugh's favorite salad. It's half-assed because I forgot to photograph an optional ingredient (onion) and a few crucial steps (Like, all of them). As well as, you know, the finished product. But! Here we go, anyway.

Hugh's Favorite Creamy Cucumber Salad

1 cup mayo
1/4 cup sugar
4 tsp. vinegar
1 TBSP dill
1/4 tsp seasoned salt
5 large cucumbers
1 small onion (not pictured, see above: HALF-ASSED)

In a medium bowl, stir together mayo, sugar, vinegar, dill and seasoned salt. Slice cucumbers and onion very, very thinly, preferably with a mandolin.

What? You don't have a mandolin? Get one. Trust me, your kitchen needs one.

Stir cucumbers and onion into dill mixture, cover and refrigerate until flavors meld. I have no idea how long that takes because Hugh never lets it sit long enough to find out. That's why it's his favorite and why I earn the Good Wife award every time I make it. Unfortunately, the Good Wife award in no way, shape or form translates into new shoes.

Boo.

A Boys Life

With The Teenager away at yet another volleyball function and Hugh working around the clock on a security detail this weekend; I had a chance to spend plenty of quality time with the Man-Cub. It was wonderful.

We went to Neighboring Town to have a small rock-chip fixed in my windshield and, since we were in the downtown area, anyway; we decided to explore some of the shops and architectural features that have been added during a recent downtown renovation project.

The Man-Cub's favorite stop was at a splash-pad on one of the street corners; he spent almost half an hour splashing through the water and attempting to stay ahead of the unpredictable fountains. Needless to say; by the time we were ready to move on, he was more than a bit wet.

Our next stop was at an old-fashioned candy store, where I stocked up on some of the items that Jana and I will need for our upcoming star-gazing party. I was especially happy to discover the store since the five-and-dime in Pixler recently stopped stocking vintage candy, and, we all know how I feel about vintage candy.

Speaking of which, I actually purchased a vintage-style cotton candy maker. It. Is. AWESOME, and, pairs nicely with the old-fashioned popcorn popper that I bought last year (Hugh just rolled his eyes so hard, he saw grey matter) and I fully intend to break it in at this year's movie-themed Porch Night, which we are planning for sometime in August.

As an aside, Hugh says that I am no longer allowed to surf Amazon late at night since that is when the majority of my more "interesting" purchases occur. I would rebel against this sudden (and laughingly futile) show of authority but, if we are being honest; he's not wrong.

And, as often occurs, I digress.

Anyway, after completing our purchase of rocket-shaped lollipops, Pop Rocks, Zots and Saucer Wafers (Never heard of them? I hadn't, either. They are saucer-shaped wafer candies filled with small candy pellets; the candy store lady recommended them once she heard what we are planning and they may taste like shit, I don't know, but; they look wicked cool), the Cub and I headed for the mall where the child got to spend an hour waiting for me to pick out a couple of new bras. I'm sure it was as exciting for him as it was for me.

But, then we went to S@ms's Club, where he was able to eat his weight in samples and all was right with the world.

Once we got home, we barely had time to unload the car before another epic rainstorm came crashing through town, knocking out the electricity, briefly. Sitting on the porch, watching the rain pour down, gave me plenty of time to talk to the Cub about a load of different things and I just really enjoyed the time together.

Today, Hugh and The Teenager are back under our roof and I am dividing my time between laundry, housework, weeding and harvesting the garden (Bumper crop of cucumbers, bell peppers, lettuce and tomatoes, thank you very much), prepping food for the week, and, puppy-sitting for Oscar and Emily, who recently became the proud parents of a German Shepherd puppy.

It's a busy day, is what I'm saying.

All the better reason to reflect, fondly, on the relaxing day spent in the company of my youngest, and, only most favorite, son.

Turn Your Head and Cough

The Man-Cub had his annual sports physical today. His doctor was pleased to note that the child has grown three and a half inches since last year, which, he assured me, indicates a very nice, steady growth pattern; I didn't have the heart to tell him that the majority of that growth spurt (like three inches worth) actually occurred in the past month.

In addition to the increase in his height, the Cub gained eight pounds, which, the doctor informed me, was pure muscle, and, about that, he was correct; the Cub doesn't have an ounce of fat on him despite the plethora of crap that constitutes his daily diet. I wish I had the one tenth of the child's metabolism, truth be told.

Everything else looks good and the Cub is perched on the very cusp of puberty which means that stinky armpits, razor stubble and an unpredictably lilting voice are just around the corner.

Someone hold me.

General Housekeeping Notes

No, not that kind of housekeeping; recently, I avoid that kind of housekeeping at all costs, and, I have the dust bunnies to prove it. No, I'm talking about clearing out the various bits and pieces of clutter in my camera, and, in my brain; that kind of housekeeping. So, without further adieu....

...Guinness is really coming into his own, and, by that, I mean; he is fighting back when Finnigan gives him shit. Finnigan, it should be noted, is not impressed. However, Finnigan is also becoming less aggressive as Guinness becomes more confident and, as a result, they are spending more "quality" time together. Unfortunately, this will probably lead to them plotting to take over the entire household, but, you can't have everything. And, now that I think about it; if they would handle the dust bunnies during their occupation, that would be stellar, you know, considering that they are 99% responsible for the dust bunnies to begin with.

...In gardening news, I recently picked a number of cucumbers that seemingly grew overnight. Or, within the span of several days; I can't really remember the last time I looked all that hard at the cucumber plants. Hugh will love this little turn of events since he is a huge fan of cucumber salad. Cucumber makes me belch in a decidedly unladylike way, so; I abstain from them. Unless they are in the form of pickles, that is, in which case, stand back because; I loves me some pickles. Especially pickles made from my grandmother's bread and butter pickle recipe, which I haven't had in quite some time. Huh. I guess Hugh will just have to wait for the next batch of cucumbers to grow, because, I am all over the bread and butter pickle making, me thinks.

...Despite a reputation for being my early rising child; the Man-Cub has repeatedly slept in this summer. We make have broken him, I'm not sure. It could be that he is exhausted from a sudden growth spurt that left him three or four inches taller, recently, or; it could just be that he is lazy. God, I'm hoping for the former.

....Day six of no Diet Pepsi and I'm doing remarkably well; I even dodged the headache this morning. I am drinking quite a bit of iced tea and water lately, an unfortunate side effect of which is an increase in my trips to the loo. This becomes quite annoying when the trips occur after bedtime, because; only infants and the elderly should pee more than three times a night, and, the last time I checked, I was neither geriatric nor infantile.

...The Gerber daisies that I planted on the front porch are blooming quite nicely, recently. This almost makes me glad that I chose them over the petunias and pansies that I usually plant. Next year, however, I think I will try something else as the daises don't really drape over the flower boxes and, in between blooming periods, are just, well, green.

...It's really hot out, lately. I don't mind, really; I like heat as opposed to cold. Rowdie, on the other hand? He would very much like a snowstorm right now, thank you very much. See also: Not Living Up to His Name.