Recipes From the Porch: Summer Berry and White Fruit Sangrias

The sangrias I served at last night's Porch Night were possibly the best sangrias that I have ever made. I chose to make two varieties because my friends are equally divided between sweet wine drinkers and dry wine drinkers and I wanted to cover all my bases.

And, speaking of bases, I need to digress for a moment: last night, the ladies each brought a designated driver in the form of a son recently graduated from high school (with the exception of Mama Jill, whose DD will graduate next May, obviously). While we guzzled delicately sipped our sangria on the porch, the boys were in the house watching baseball. After the last drop of sangria was drained from the dispensers, the boys bundled their mothers off the porch like they were leading  doddering senior citizens to the common room of the old folks home for a rousing game of bingo. There were reminders to collect sweaters and purses and gentle admonitions about watching their steps on the stairs, as well as good-natured teasing about the obvious limitations in our alcohol tolerance.

It was the sweetest thing I have ever seen.

I'm going to miss these boys; they make our world a safer (and sweeter) place.

And, speaking of sweet, on to the recipes, done in true Ms. Congeniality style, which is to say, poorly conceived and badly executed. You've been warned.

Summer Berry Sangria:
-1 bag frozen whole mixed berries
-1 orange, thinly sliced (And, not pictured because I continue to forget one ingredient in the photos of every gosh-damned recipe I ever post. At least I am consistent)
-1 (very generous) cup orange liqueur (I eyeballed it; could have been a cup, could have been two. Live dangerously, I always say!)
-1 bottle (1.5 litre) Arbor Mist Blackberry Merlot
1 litre lemon-lime soda

Yes, the bottles are empty, my picture-taking timing is impeccable, don't you agree?

Mix fruit, orange liqueur, and wine in a container (I used the dispenser that I planned to serve from because it was easier than mixing in a pitcher and transferring the liquid later). Chill in the fridge for several hours, the longer, the better. Right before serving, add chilled soda and give a little stir.

White Fruit Sangria:
(None of the ingredients for this recipe are pictured. I told you this post was badly executed, just go with it)

-1 bag frozen mixed fruit (mango, nectarine, and strawberry)
-2 oranges, thinly sliced
-1 cup orange liqueur (see above for exactish measurement of this ingredient)
-1 bottle (1.5 litre) Arbor Mist Pink Moscato
-1 litre lemon-lime soda

Follow the instructions for the Summer Berry Sangria. This isn't brain surgery.

Serve both drinks over ice. Add additional fruit if desired (I didn't do this because, in my experience, fruit in the glass gets in the way of proper drink delivery through a straw, which, is my preferred method for enjoying this drink).

These recipes come with a very important Public Service Announcement: Because these drinks are tasty and refreshing, it is easy to suck down two or three without a thought. This will result in a ninja-style kick to your ass due to the high alcohol content. You will require the services of a designated driver. Obviously, I recommend well-mannered teen aged boys. I hear they work for snacks.

And Our Lips Taste Like Sangria

Porch Night was a tremendous success. We had a relatively small group-ten people, yet we were able to nearly polish off two large dispensers of sangria and almost every snack that I set out. So, while we were small in number, we were great in appetite.

And, after polishing off those drinks, we were relaxed and prepared to take on whatever the rest of the week has to throw at us, which, if the first two days of this week are any indication, will be a total shit show (time for this girl to win the lottery, y'all).

Thank goodness for Porch Night and good friends with whom to spend it.

As the Summer Passes By...

Ten days into July and still no boat. This sucks on so many levels.

On the bright side, we have baseball! The Man-Cub's team won again yesterday, and, thanks to remembering to actually take our pop-up for shade, we were completely comfortable watching them do it (last weekend, I got a wicked sunburn, in random patterns, thanks to uneven sunscreen application).

I also filled the weekend with household chores-oh, joy-including a complete hosing of the porch, which, I did in preparation for the Porch Night that I am hosting tomorrow night.

I may not have a boat, but I'll always have Porch Night.

But, seriously, folks! Summer is halfway over already. Girlfriend needs some quality lake time (insert sad face, here).

It's Like I'm In a Time Warp

Battle of the Network Stars is on television right now, and, The Gong Show is up next. Did I miss something? Is it 1979? If I change the channel, will I catch an episode of Charlie's Angels or The Love Boat? 

And, did you know that they are remaking Dynasty?

DYNASTY, people! Dubbya Tee Eff?

I feel like I need to feather my hair, don a pair of jeans with a roller skate embroidered on the back pocket, and stick an 8 Track cassette in the 8 Track player-I'm in the mood for a little Captain and Tennille.

Love will keep us together, y'all.

And, throwbacks will keep us entertained, apparently.

It's going to be a long summer.

Recipes From the Porch: Homemade Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

About that ice cream that I made the other day, it was delicious! And, making it scratched an item off my Summer Bucket List, which made it extra delicious! Ok, it was probably alllll the fat that made it extra delicious, but, let's not quibble over the details.

Now, on to the recipe...

The ingredientses (Teresa Giudice reference! That never gets old! What's that you say? Teresa G. is sooo three years ago? Oh. Guess it does get old):

1 cup cream
1 cup whole milk
1/2 cup sugar
1 tsp mint extract
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp salt (not pictured in photo above because I am a dumbass)
3/4 cup chocolate chips, chunks, curls, etc. Your choice, go wild.

You will also need:

An electric ice cream machine. Or, an old fashioned hand-cranked machine, if that blows your skirt up (weirdo).
1 small bag of crushed ice
1 cup rock salt

The instructions:

In a chilled bowl, thoroughly mix everything but the chocolate chips. Pour into chilled container from your ice cream maker and freeze according to your machine's instructions, being sure to keep the machine well chilled with ice and rock salt.

Once machine stops churning, remove mixing container from machine, fold chocolate chips into mixture, pour into freezer-safe container and freeze until firm.

Serve, and enjoy.

Belated Happy Birthday, America

We spent the 4th of July in the laziest way that we have spent it in about a decade. We slept in, we took our time getting ready, we meandered down the road to Neighboring City for an early dinner at The Olive Garden, and we took our time making our way to the ballpark for a game between two major league farm teams.

Our seats, while in the full sun for the first hour and a half of the game, were really good, and, we were with good company, including Mom, Oscar and Emily, and a couple whom we know from Hugh's officiating jobs and with whom we have spent time together in the past.

The fireworks after the game were really well done, and, thanks to a super lucky break on finding a close parking spot, we were out of the park and on our way home by 10:30.

Today, I am back to the grindstone, with several project deadlines looming on the horizon. The midweek break is going to screw with me for the rest of the week, but, I'll just keep telling myself that I only have two more days of work and I'm sure I'll get through it.

I wouldn't mind another day off, but, we can't have everything.

Holiday Without a Boat

How do you spend a weekend leading up to a major holiday when your boat is in the shop and unavailable for a lake trip?

Well, prior to this year, I wouldn't have been able to tell you; since we got the boat in 2008, we have spent almost every 4th of July weekend on the water. This year, with the Sea Chelle out of commission (hoping to have her back soon), we didn't really make plans for the weekend, which, isn't to say that we had nothing to do.

On Saturday, I finally knocked an item off my Summer Bucket List by making a batch of homemade ice cream (recipe coming soon).

On Sunday, we spent the better part of the day watching the Man-Cub play baseball for the adult rec. league team that recruited him for the summer. Since I had been certain that his last high school game would be my final opportunity to watch him play, this has been a nice surprise.

Another surprise at the game was the fact that the umpires, scheduled to call the game, failed to show up, leaving Hugh to step into the void as a volunteer. He had a great time doing it, and, despite his poor eyesight (kidding, Hugh!), our team won the game.

Sunday evening, Mom arrived to spend the next several days with us before her cataract surgery, and, we all went to a BBQ housewarming party for Mama Jill's daughter and her husband, who recently purchased their first home.

So, it wasn't a completely uneventful weekend, it was just...different.

Tuesday, our official 4th of July plan is to attend a baseball game in Neighboring City. There will be fireworks and I'm sure it will be just as awesome as watching them from the back of the boat on Lake Powell.

Well, obviously not, but, it'll be fine.

Dear Sea Chelle,
Please get well, soon.
Love, your family, who are jonesing for some lake time.