Recently, On The Perimenopause Diaries…

…when last we saw our heroine, she was being held captive by Father Time and Mother Nature, fighting the unwanted advances of the intermittent hot flash, and seeking relief from the persistent feeling of impending doom brought about by hormones gone wild.

Or, maybe we didn’t talk about the impending doom part…subject for today’s episode!

So, yeahhhh….there have been a lot of things that no one told me about this glorious season of my life, and, the little bit that I did know has, in no way, prepared me for the realities of my biological clock slowly winding down to it’s last, gasping breath. Instead, I am left to eke out any bit of information that I can find on the worldwide web, relying on Dr. Google to assure me that what I am experiencing is normal; even the random bouts of anxiety, so paralyzing, it’s a wonder I continue to function.

At the onset of this particularly alarming symptom, I assumed that my thyroid had again gone wonky (wonkier?), and that I might need to seek a change in my medication. But, none of the other usual symptoms of a thyroid issue presented themselves, and, with the onslaught of the above-mentioned hot flashes, I was hesitant to simply chalk it up to a further malfunction of that particular gland., so;  Dr. Google to the rescue! Apparently, generalized anxiety, irritability, and depression are the hallmark traits of perimenopause.

Well, how fucking wonderful.

Dr. Google does suggest some remedies for the symptoms associated with perimenopause, but, most of these involve synthetic hormones, which, given my mom’s history with hormone-driven breast cancer, would be risky for me to utilize. So, I have donned my Dr. Mom title and prescribed myself a nice, long vacation; we leave for Hawaii a week from Friday, and, that won’t be a minute too soon.

 I need this trip like a junkie needs his next fix; a solid week of sunshine, warm water, fresh fruit, sand between my toes, and a cool, caressing trade wind blowing across my face. 

Just what the doctor ordered; assuming I can get through the anxiety surrounding the details still to work out prior to our departure. 

Gah. How did the pioneer women get through this?!