The Kardashians Should Take Note

My parents celebrate their 49th wedding anniversary, today. That's like ten million in dog years and something to be proud of, for sure.

I know I'm proud of them; not too many people marry right out of high school and are able to weather the many storms that life throws at them. Not very many couples can survive raising three daughters, what with all the eye-rolling, temper tantrums, histrionics and blatant shows of disrespect (and that was just my older sister, ba, dum, dum. Thank you; I'll be here all week) but; my parents did it. They raised us to be decent and productive and, most of all; to be grateful for the sacrifices that they made in order to see that happen.

My parents set an example of what marriage should look like, every day; they laugh together. They argue and then they kiss and make up. They forgive each other and they accept the blame for each of their own short-comings (few and far between, in my estimation). They accept each other for who they are, encourage each other to strive for their personal best and, they show real affection for one an other.

When I was in high school, I was mortified by their occasional need to chase each other through the house for a kiss; I mean, good lord,I had friends over, what would they think? Now, I know; they thought I was lucky.

And, I was.

 I am.

Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad. I love you both with all my heart; thank you for teaching me how.

Darn Update

We were fortunate to have my parents visit this weekend; Dad is just a few weeks past shoulder surgery and I am amazed at how well he is doing. Actually, considering that he also had surgery on his neck back in August; I am doubly amazed and; was really happy to have them here.

They made the trip primarily to watch the Man-Cub play basketball, which he did on Thursday and Saturday but, while they were here, we also attended a jewelry store open house (well, Mom did, Dad's not so much into the jewelry open houses, who knew?) and my woman's club's annual holiday festival.

The Cub's team won three-out-of-four games and, aside from my Dad wanting to thump the coach on the head for not playing his grandson more; I think he and Mom had a good time. Plus, they got to see the Fearsome Foursome in action and, look at that; I finally got them all to hold still for a picture.

Well, mostly still...

Darn teenagers.

Friday night's holiday festival went well; it was the first time my parents had been here to attend so, I was hoping for a good turnout and the community did not disappoint. Unfortunately, my centerpiece was not the top-grossing centerpiece this year which is fine with me since my mother was the winning bidder on it despite my protestations that I could have made her the same centerpiece for far less than she spent on it.

Darn senior citizens.

Anyway, it was a nice visit and, as always, we were sorry to see them go. In an effort to salve our disappointment, The Teenager and I accompanied Jana and Kaley to the matinee showing of Breaking Dawn, yesterday. The movie followed the book fairly well and the scenes that you would expect to be gory certainly did not disappoint (as an aside, remind me never to give birth to a half-vampire demon spawn; that shit looks painful). Now, of course, we have to wait an entire year for Part Two to finish off the saga.

Darn movie studio executives.

Hey, at least I have the rush to Christmas to occupy my time and, according to everything I am seeing on television, the rush is definitely on. Time to break out the cookie sheets and sprinkles.

Darn sweet tooth.

This is Going to be Awesome. Or, Slightly Awful. Coin Toss!

Last year, The Teenager played volleyball on a competitive traveling team and she loved it. Although her teammates attended high school in Hooterville instead of here in Petticoat Junction; she fit right in and even made some pretty good friends. Unfortunately, because the team was based in Hooterville, we had to make the drive into town twice a week for practices which, was sort of inconvenient, so; you can imagine my delight when, this year, The Teenager was invited to play for a competitive team being organized here in Petticoat Junction.

No more trips into town. No more finding something to do for two hours while The Teenager practiced (because I was too cheap to drive back and forth, twice). No more worrying that The Teenager was missing out on unofficial team-building activities held during school hours. It's all good, right?

Well, maybeee...unfortunately, the coach of the local team is not someone that we know well and, what we have been told, has been somewhat, well...not negative, but; worrisome enough to cause me some reservations. Not enough to keep the girl from playing, obviously, just enough to make me wonder if the experience this year will be as positive as the experience last year.

On the other hand, since I really have no first-hand knowledge of the coach, I'm going to refrain from making any judgments and just see how it goes. And, I get to start, today, at a meeting to discuss the fundraisers planned by the club. So far, I've heard rumblings about Pampered Chef sales and a three-on-three volleyball tournament; both ideas that I can get behind because I think they will be more popular than the coffee sales fundraiser done by last year's club.

Also, since last year's club was coached by the Hooterville High volleyball coach, preference was given to the girls who actually attended the school, meaning, not my daughter so; with any luck, this year she will see more play-time, even if the coach does get on our nerves and, here in the adult world, we call that compromise.

To Decorate or Not to Decorate, That is the Question

Thanksgiving is a week from tomorrow; how did that happen? I'm usually so much better about my holiday planning but turkey day snuck up on me like a mugger in an alley in a bad part of town. Luckily, I did pre-order my turkey which should be delivered early in the week but, otherwise; my planning is way behind.

This does not bode well for Christmas, me thinks.

Also, since we are planning to be in Mayberry for Christmas, I am debating the merits of actually decorating our house or in going all out on the holiday baking. On one hand, it's Christmas; I have to go balls-to-the-wall, it's what I do. On the other hand, balls-to-the-wall takes a lot of energy. And, time. And, willpower not to eat all of the cookie batter before it becomes actual cookies and; to say that I am lacking in willpower lately would be a vast understatement.

We will set up the tree, regardless of whether or not I do anything else, of course. And, the village has to go up, I mean, that's just tradition. Oh, and the porch tree; the neighbors have come to expect the outside of the house to be festive and I wouldn't want to let the neighborhood down. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm doing Christmas like I always do despite my laziness and despite the fact that I'm pretty sure Finnigan will manage to destroy just about every decoration he can possibly get his paws on.

I suppose I should mentally prepare myself for that, right now.

And, I suppose that answers the question of whether or not I am decorating this year; someone get the tinsel.

We All Go Through Phases

I'm afraid Finnigan has entered the Terrible Two's, or the kitten equivilant of them, anyway. Lately, his favorite pastime is stalking us, ninja-like, before leaping out and trying to trip us. If he should happen to succeed, he then proceeds to gnaw on the closest body part, sinking his claws in for good measure. We are currently administering a spray of water from a bottle to discipline him, it works about as well as one might imagine spraying a toddler with water would work which is to say; not at all.

Here's hoping it's just a phase.

In other news, Jana and I attended a play at the local community theater Friday night. The play, The Dixie Swim Club, is about five college friends who meet every year at a beachside cottage and it follows their friendship through thirty-some years. It was hilarious and heartbreaking and made me miss The Girls quite badly which is probably why I found myself in the bathtub with a glass of wine two-out-of-three nights of the weekend. I'm sure that was just a phase, too.

Speaking of the weekend, Hugh was working a security and the kids were busy conducting their social lives so; in addition to defending myself from stealth kitten attacks and weeping into my bubble bath, I also managed to do quite a bit of scrapbooking and can now proudly announce that The Teenager's book is less than a year behind. The Man-Cub's book, however, still lags an abysmal three years behind so; there is still much work to be done.

As an aside, boy did I have some cute kids; I realized this tidbit while looking back over their older scrapbooks, hoping for inspiration to spark my creativity. They were cute, indeed and, in the Man-Cub's case, ornery, as evidenced by the pages dedicated to self-inflicted haircuts, broken bones, inappropriate crayon artwork incidents and the random picture wherein the child decided to forego clothing in exchange for Buzz Lightyear underwear and a cowboy hat; I think he was in his Terrible Twos at the time, but; at least he didn't lie in wait for an opportunity to gnaw on our ankles. You know, that I can remember.

News Flash: Teenage Boys Smell Really, Really Bad

While waiting for the Man-Cub's basketball game to start yesterday, the Fearsome Foursome managed to disperse the fans from an entire section of the bleachers just by taking off their shoes. There was an actual green cloud emanating from their feet, I swear. Gagging ensued.

The boys thought the whole thing was hilarious, of course, which led the father of one of them to lean over to me and declare his shock at the fact that teenage girls actually like these boys; how does that happen? I told him that it is clearly a case of hormones over-riding the sense of smell and that, if that didn't happen, our species would die out.

That can be the only explanation.

I Think We Can Safely Lower the Threat Level

According to my StatCounter, someone from the Department of Homeland Security visited my blog yesterday. I'm guessing it was a bored employee searching for pictures of Ryan Reynolds' ass since, also according to my StatCounter; that is what most people are searching for when they land here.

Or, it could have been a frantic parent, searching for Toothfairy letterhead which is also a very popular search of this blog. I'm torn between hoping for that and hoping for the ass search since I would feel a bit more secure if the people charged with defending our whole country from terrorists were also capable of remembering to put two dollars under their kid's pillow.

No judgement, of course, I mean; I created that letterhead for a reason, after all, and; one could argue that defending the country is a titch more important than remebering to do one's Toothfairy duties but, still.

Actual reciept  from the Great Tooth Buy-Back debacle of 2003

And, you know, Ryan Reynolds' ass is smokin' hot. Probably not a threat to national security or anything but, yeah, hot.