My Faith In Mankind Has Been Restored
All the wailing and gnashing of teeth over the Man-Cub’s lost packpack was for naught as it was returned yesterday by a third grader who had picked it up by mistake. Since that means his packpack is now lost, the wailing and gnashing of teeth has only just begun at his house.
Hugh made it home safe and sound last night and he arrived bearing gifts; t-shirts for the kids and various trade show products for me (samples of toilet bowl cleaner! You shouldn’t have. No, really, you shouldn’t have).
Since I received neither diamonds nor a state of the art port-a-potty, I had to question Hugh’s gambling abilities. He assured me that he really did come out ahead, as usual. He just didn’t have time to shop; he was working after all. Plus, gambling is time-consuming. I wouldn’t know since, when we visit casinos together, Hugh won’t even let me stand behind him at the tables; he claims that I am the Kiss of Death for his gambling mojo, a fact to which I must concede although, I would never admit it to him. Alas, I will never be the trophy wife who blows on her husband’s dice for luck (oooh…dirty!). Instead, I am the trophy wife wannabe who goes to the mall while her husband whiles away the hours at the tables. It works for us.
Anyway, with Hugh home, balance has been restored. Unfortunately, when my sinuses got the memo, they decided that it would be the perfect time to stage a coup against my face. I am alternating between streaming rivers of snot flowing profusely from my nostrils and total nasal airway blockage. The skin around my nose is raw from constant abuse by tissue (comparisons to a certain reindeer are inevitable) and my chin decided to get into the act by sprouting a pimple the size of Mt. Everest. I am so pretty!
Admit it; you would totally let me blow on your dice.
You'll always be one hot momma - snotty nose, pimples and all! I'm glad the backpack was returned. Totally sounds like something that would happen to my kids. I still haven't found the ambercrombie sweatshirt that Morgan just HAD to have. How do you lose a whole sweatshirt? Something little like an earring, sure I can see - but a whole sweatshirt/jacket? SheeshReplyDelete