Fourteen Days , Such As It Is

Only two weeks to go!

I finished up the last of my shopping while in town for my annual appointment with the lady-parts doctor this morning so, I have the peace of mind of knowing that my shopping is done and that all is well down in Cooterville. Win-win!

This weekend, I will do all my grocery shopping for our holiday meals after which I refuse to step foot into a store again until January; the crowds are getting ugly and I just don’t need the negative energy.

Plus, the credit card could probably use a break although, over-use isn’t necessarily to blame for that burning plastic smell. I mean, the card could be defective right?

Riiight.

Oh hey, you almost let me forget that I am supposed to be regaling you with My Favorite Holiday Things! Silly you! Since I have pretty much covered goodies, music, movies and traditions, I think I will list some of my favorite Christmas memories.

Don't worry; I promise to wake you when it’s over.

-Age 5, my younger sister and I spent the weeks leading up to Christmas playing with our Barbies under the tree. We moved the presents around to make Barbie condominiums and strategically placed our Barbie furniture throughout. In hindsight, I bet that drove my mother nuts.

-Age 4, my dad came home from work one day with the tiniest little black kitten that any of us had ever seen. Her mother had given birth to the litter underneath the stairs outside my dad’s office and had died of exposure along with all but this one tiny kitten. We named her Snowball and fed her with an eyedropper until she was big enough to eat on her own. She died when I was 23. Loved that cat.

-Age 24, Hugh proposed to me on Christmas morning. He waited until all the other presents had been opened, including the copy of Beauty and the Beast that he had purchased for me before reaching behind him to pull out the ring box so I wouldn't suspect. He needn't have worried; it was completely unexpected and my first words were “oh, shit!” Classy, that’s me.

-Age 27, The Girl’s first Christmas. She wore the most precious white romper with tiny pink rosebud print. It got completely ruined with red dye because I let her gnaw on a candy cane during my staff Christmas party and I could not have cared less, so much did I enjoy watching her enjoy that candy cane.

-Age 29, Hugh and I, upon deciding that The Girl needed a sibling, set about conceiving said sibling underneath the Christmas tree. We were ultimately sucessful and, yes, I know for certain that he was conceived underneath the tree because that is the only place that I would allow Hugh to have his way with me, such was my desire to one day tell my teenaged son that his mother got knocked up under the tree. See above: Classy.

I have a ton more happy holiday memories but, I totally heard y’all snoring, so, moving on.

This weekend I baked Spritz cookies, dipped pretzels in chocolate, rolled chocolate chip cookie dough truffles and made a pan of fudge. I also managed to get the garland up on the porch and had time to wrap the majority of my presents all thanks to the fact that Emily took the children off my hands on Saturday for a Christmas party that unexpectedly extended to a sleep-over, they were all having such a good time together.

To return the favor, we have invited Oscar and Emily to spend the night with us on Christmas Eve so that they can watch the kids open presents on Christmas day. This is something that they have not done in the eight years that we have all lived in the same area, so, it should be quite memorable. In fact, if I were a betting woman, I would wager that this Christmas will rank right up there with getting impregnated under the tree.

Care to guess why?