Tuesday, March 03, 2009

The Surefire Cure for Bleacher Butt

-hurt yourself somewhere else and bleacher butt becomes a non-issue.

Yesterday was absolutely gorgeous here in Petticoat Junction. The temperature hovered around 65 degrees, the sun was out, the winds were calm, in short; it was a perfect day to be outside and, I took full advantage of it by walking to and from the post office and bank.

After work, I suffered my usual torture session at the hands of Jillian Michaels and then, laced up my running shoes and left the house for a nice long stroll.

I don’t know if it was because the day was so nice or because I am jonesing for spring and summer and everything that goes with them, like bikinis and boating but; at some point in my stroll, I suddenly took it into my head to…run.

Yes, run and, no, nothing was chasing me.

Now, I know a lot of people who run for both exercise and sport but, I don’t. I just don’t so, all I can say is that something possessed me and, there I was, running around our local park.

Part of not running is the fact that I look like an idiot doing it; think Phoebe from Friends combined with the grace of Elaine Benes from Seinfeld and you get a pretty clear picture of my “style”; still, there I was.

And, I would love to say that it felt great and I experienced an epiphany about why my friends subject themselves to the torture of daily runs but, yeah, not so much. Oh, it wasn’t that bad, at the time but, today; I am sore in places I forgot existed on my body. I’m stiffer than the Tin Woodsman after a month in the forest following a rainstorm and, I’m pretty sure Dorothy isn’t going to come skipping along to offer me a shot of oil for my joints.

I’m in a little pain, is the point I’m trying to make here but, as I said before; bleacher butt is no longer an issue.


  1. Good for you for running. I play soccer but cannot run without a soccer ball.

  2. If you do it again (run, that is) it doesn't hurt as much. Still - good for you for giving it a go!

    It's only fair to warn you - if you keep it up you'll reach the point where you actually LIKE it. Then you are totally screwed.

  3. I don't know about actually liking the run, but it will make your ass so tight! Motivation enough for me!