Too Much Testosterone

The Teenager abandoned me on Friday to spend the weekend at birthday slumber parties so; I spent the vast majority of my weekend basking in the warm glow of the above-mentioned testosterone. And, it’s a good thing I like people of the male persuasion because, they were everywhere.

We hosted over 250 wrestlers at our home tournament on Saturday. Of those 250, Hugh and I were responsible for just shy of 50 kids-forty-eight boys and one girl. And, while I love our soul female wrestler to death- I think she is brave and gutsy and just plain awesome- the estrogen produced by one female is hardly enough to counter-act the effects of a gymnasium full of boys. The mothers of the boys (and girl!) on our team helped to bridge the disconnect somewhat but; by the end of the tournament, I knew more dirty (for elementary-school-aged kids) jokes, had heard more disgusting stories about various bodily fluids and, had been called upon to assign more scores (1 to 10) in belching contests than I care to remember.

And I loved every minute of it, truth be told.

Aside from the belching, joking, refereeing of slap-fights, chasing down of children in an effort to retrieve articles of clothing during rabid games of Keep Away and visiting with the awesome moms of our wrestlers (did I ever mention that the Hostiles left our team for a competing team? No? My bad); I also handed out our new uniforms which, turned out rather cool, if I do say so, myself and I found time to watch the Man-Cub take the gold medal for his weight bracket.

I know! Here we thought he would have a losing character-building season and he goes and wins his bracket against kids bigger than him. It was awesome and, I’m certain, had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that I had promised him a bath in my jet-tub should he win.

And, on that topic, testosterone? Yeah, it leaves a ring around the tub that is nearly impervious to all forms of household cleansers.

At least, I hope it was the testosterone.

Shudder