There isn't a lot that calms me these days. I'm becoming accustomed to a constantly racing heart, the buzz of anxiety in my ears, and shortness of breath that comes essentially from forgetting to breathe. Who does that?
I know that I need to figure out how to control these physical manifestations of my anxiety, but, the things that would typically work for me are things that I just don't have the energy to pursue right now.
One thing that does work, at least a little bit, is spending time on the porch. Yesterday, I noticed that it had been neglected long enough for a layer of dirt to accumulate on every surface, so, I mustered up the energy to hose it down. I felt a sense of accomplishment when I was done, and that made me feel just the slightest bit less out of sorts.
I preach a lot about self-care and resiliency at work. I make it a point to follow up with the staff to make sure that they are practicing what I preach. I don't do that for myself, and that needs to change.
Yesterday, I started with the porch.