Birthday Flashback

 Today is Queen B's birthday! I've written birthday tributes over the years, and today will be no different, but, before I get to how amazing she is, I thought I would re-share this post that I wrote a number of years back.

I had an incredibly vivid and life-like dream last night. Actually, I'm not certain that it was a dream, but, more a memory. In the dream, The Teenager shuffled into our bedroom, clutching her pink blanket (bobock) and favorite teddy bear. She wasn't a teenager, of course, but, a little girl of about three, and, she was wearing her favorite footie-pajamas; the pink ones with the ruffles across the butt.

Her sleeves were pushed up over her elbows and her plump little arms were clutching that teddy bear to her chest with all her might. Her hair was curling in random directions and felt damp from the light night sweat, which, was a normal occurrence for her.

In the dream/memory, she climbed into bed next to me, curling into my body, where, she sighed deeply and relaxed into sleep. Then, as often happened when she was sleeping, her leg twitched, and; that sudden twitching awoke me from the dream/memory.

The dream was so vivid, I could still smell a mixture of baby lotion, Johnson & Johnson No-Tear shampoo and toddler sweat. So vivid, in fact, that I actually had to get out of bed and look into The Teenager's room just to convince myself that she had not somehow transformed into the little girl that she used to be.

Spoiler: she hadn't.

Instead of chubby toddler legs encased in footie-pajamas, a long, lean, bare leg hung limply from the edge of the bed; definitely not the leg of a three-year-old.

I bent down to kiss her on the forehead, breathing deeply the scent of apple-scented shampoo, Hollister perfume, and teenager sweat before retreating downstairs to make coffee.

Today I am thankful for vivid memories.

I am thankful for having had nights spent with a toddler tucked into the curve of my body.

I'm thankful for the young woman whom that toddler has grown to be.

And, I suppose it goes without saying that I am grateful for coffee.

I still vividly recall both those toddler and teenager years and I still cherish the memories of each. These days, however, I am also cherishing the experience of knowing my daughter as an adult. She's funny, sassy, a little bit crazy, kind, serious on occasion, and a genuinely good person. That's really all a mother can hope for in a child and I am grateful.

Happy birthday, Queen B! We love you and are so thankful to be on this life journey with you!