Work is kicking my ass and I'm really ready for a break. Luckily, Christmas is just around the corner, and, with it, a trip to Mayberry for an extended visit with the Pod People. The kids are already planning the best ways to exploit the kindness of their grandparents and I am looking forward to a week without taking a crisis call from a client, without having my fingers turn black from counting dirty money, and, without the thought of juggling a multitude of household chores.
And, it goes without saying that I am anticipating the good food, fun times, and slew of new holiday memories that we will, no doubt, be making.
I'm not entirely looking forward to the sub-zero temperatures that naturally occur in Mayberry this time of year, but, a girl can't have everything.
So, ten days and counting.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Monday, December 09, 2013
Good Deeds
Saturday morning, I set out to tackle some more of my Christmas shopping. My first stop was Target, where I was pleasantly surprised to find a relatively small crowd of fellow shoppers, allowing me to relax and enjoy the experience.
As I was perusing the Christmas aisle, I ran into a young mother who was shepherding two small boys, each under the age of five. The woman was hugely pregnant and I immediately felt sorry for the challenge that she must be facing with those two active boys. I quickly learned that I needn't worry; that young mom guided those two boys like a very quiet, very kind, drill sergeant. The boys were given choices in a firm, sweet voice, and, the mother treated them like small humans, capable of making good choices when given the proper encouragement and opportunity; the boys responded by behaving like angels.
It was such a nice thing to witness.
Of course, I was mentally comparing her parenting skills to those of most of my clients and I couldn't help but think that she would make an awesome parent coach.
After two similar experiences with parents who are Doing it Right, one in the electronics department, and one in the checkout line (I officially love Target); I ventured to my next stop on my agenda: The Hellmouth.
Let me just say right now: there is a reason I call it The Hellmouth, and; Saturday's shopping trip did nothing to change my mind about the honorary title.
Before I even made the turn from the main road into the parking lot, I witnesses a pair of panhandlers surreptitiously sipping from a flask while taking turns hiding one another from the view of the people leaving the parking lot. This couple has been working that particular corner since early this summer; they hold a sign that declares their need to for money...to repair their spaceship (not kidding), and, prior to this weekend, I had never seen them getting their drink on while "on the job". It was disheartening. It was also quite humorous, given the whole "creating a human shield from the prying eyes of the public" thing.
Once I was in The Hellmouth, things didn't get much better. I was still feeling the glow of quality parenting from Target when I hit the grocery section and got to watch unattended children running amok in the produce, a random toddler licking an apple before returning it to its place on the shelf, and a father mildly instructing his child not to kick a small container that had fallen to the floor, and, then watching him ignore the child as he continued to kick the item across the floor.
My glow faded, quickly.
I salvaged it, however. I decided to throw some good out into the world, and, as such I moved shopping carts away from a car that had been blocked in by rude cart-abandoners, I purchased hot chocolate for the Salvation Army bell ringers and I dropped a twenty in the kettle.
I felt better when I was done.
And, I've decided that shopping at The Hellmouth will always be a chore that I attack with the lowest possible expectations. Maybe someday I will be pleasantly surprised.
Not holding my breath.
As I was perusing the Christmas aisle, I ran into a young mother who was shepherding two small boys, each under the age of five. The woman was hugely pregnant and I immediately felt sorry for the challenge that she must be facing with those two active boys. I quickly learned that I needn't worry; that young mom guided those two boys like a very quiet, very kind, drill sergeant. The boys were given choices in a firm, sweet voice, and, the mother treated them like small humans, capable of making good choices when given the proper encouragement and opportunity; the boys responded by behaving like angels.
It was such a nice thing to witness.
Of course, I was mentally comparing her parenting skills to those of most of my clients and I couldn't help but think that she would make an awesome parent coach.
After two similar experiences with parents who are Doing it Right, one in the electronics department, and one in the checkout line (I officially love Target); I ventured to my next stop on my agenda: The Hellmouth.
Let me just say right now: there is a reason I call it The Hellmouth, and; Saturday's shopping trip did nothing to change my mind about the honorary title.
Before I even made the turn from the main road into the parking lot, I witnesses a pair of panhandlers surreptitiously sipping from a flask while taking turns hiding one another from the view of the people leaving the parking lot. This couple has been working that particular corner since early this summer; they hold a sign that declares their need to for money...to repair their spaceship (not kidding), and, prior to this weekend, I had never seen them getting their drink on while "on the job". It was disheartening. It was also quite humorous, given the whole "creating a human shield from the prying eyes of the public" thing.
Once I was in The Hellmouth, things didn't get much better. I was still feeling the glow of quality parenting from Target when I hit the grocery section and got to watch unattended children running amok in the produce, a random toddler licking an apple before returning it to its place on the shelf, and a father mildly instructing his child not to kick a small container that had fallen to the floor, and, then watching him ignore the child as he continued to kick the item across the floor.
My glow faded, quickly.
I salvaged it, however. I decided to throw some good out into the world, and, as such I moved shopping carts away from a car that had been blocked in by rude cart-abandoners, I purchased hot chocolate for the Salvation Army bell ringers and I dropped a twenty in the kettle.
I felt better when I was done.
And, I've decided that shopping at The Hellmouth will always be a chore that I attack with the lowest possible expectations. Maybe someday I will be pleasantly surprised.
Not holding my breath.
Saturday, December 07, 2013
Dear Teenager,
Yesterday, you and I got into a spirited debate over my reluctance to allow you to drive to a wrestling tournament in a town an hour away. My reluctance centered around the road conditions following the first real snowstorm of the season; I was, understandably, worried about the possibility of an accident given your relative inexperience with winter driving.
Your position centered around your imminent relocation to a college which is located in a city many hours, and, an entire mountain range, away, and; in needing to gain experience with winter driving before you are required to make that particular drive with any sort of regularity.
It was a valid argument, I must admit.
Your secondary argument, however? Not so valid.
The point, according to you, was that you are practically grown up now, and, hence, I should no longer worry about you.
Which? Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!! Have you met me?
You do realize that I am your mother, right?
Then you must realize that, as your mother, I will worry about you for the rest of your life. Indeed, when you are seventy-five years old and are driving to my nursing home to celebrate my hundred and second birthday; I will be anxiously wringing my hands and pacing the halls with my walker, worrying about you driving through a late autumn snowstorm.
That's my job.
So, no, dear child; your secondary argument will not stand.
I will, however, acquiesce to your first argument and I will allow you to test the roads, in order to gain experience for your future driving needs.
And, I will increase my conversations with God, accordingly. He's a parent, too; He gets it.
Love, your momma.
Your position centered around your imminent relocation to a college which is located in a city many hours, and, an entire mountain range, away, and; in needing to gain experience with winter driving before you are required to make that particular drive with any sort of regularity.
It was a valid argument, I must admit.
Your secondary argument, however? Not so valid.
The point, according to you, was that you are practically grown up now, and, hence, I should no longer worry about you.
Which? Ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!! Have you met me?
You do realize that I am your mother, right?
Then you must realize that, as your mother, I will worry about you for the rest of your life. Indeed, when you are seventy-five years old and are driving to my nursing home to celebrate my hundred and second birthday; I will be anxiously wringing my hands and pacing the halls with my walker, worrying about you driving through a late autumn snowstorm.
That's my job.
So, no, dear child; your secondary argument will not stand.
I will, however, acquiesce to your first argument and I will allow you to test the roads, in order to gain experience for your future driving needs.
And, I will increase my conversations with God, accordingly. He's a parent, too; He gets it.
Love, your momma.
Friday, December 06, 2013
Snow Day
Wednesday's blizzard dumped so much snow on our area, the kids actually got a snow day, yesterday. Granted, by yesterday, the snow had stopped falling and the sun was out, but, having opted not to cancel school during the actual dangerous part of the storm; the school district apparently decided to throw the kids a bone.
I don't understand it, either.
Anyway, The Teenager and her friends took full advantage of the unexpected free time by going sledding while the Man-Cub and his friends spent their time at basketball practice, because; school might be cancelled but practice must go on.
Yeah...I don't understand that, either.
Anyway, the school closure was accompanied by closures of the County government, including the probation department, so; my day at work was decidedly more quiet than a typical Thursday generally is.
I took advantage of the unexpected free time by getting a facial. Then, I joined Jana at the community theater to watch Kaley perform in her choir's Christmas musical. Which, despite school being cancelled, was still held, because, as you know; the show must go on.
That part, I understand.
I don't understand it, either.
Anyway, The Teenager and her friends took full advantage of the unexpected free time by going sledding while the Man-Cub and his friends spent their time at basketball practice, because; school might be cancelled but practice must go on.
Yeah...I don't understand that, either.
Anyway, the school closure was accompanied by closures of the County government, including the probation department, so; my day at work was decidedly more quiet than a typical Thursday generally is.
I took advantage of the unexpected free time by getting a facial. Then, I joined Jana at the community theater to watch Kaley perform in her choir's Christmas musical. Which, despite school being cancelled, was still held, because, as you know; the show must go on.
That part, I understand.
Wednesday, December 04, 2013
Father Winter is Having His Way With My Porch and I'm Totally Ok With It
The snow started falling around midnight last night. We didn't start to see accumulation until around six a.m., and, that accumulation is rapidly coating my porch decorations in a fluffy layer of winter frosting.
It looks quite pretty, and, will look even prettier tonight when the lights are on.
As an aside, the fact that this weather isn't bothering me, that the snow accumulating on my precious decorations isn't making me insane, and that I am feeling a general calmness at the thought of driving to work in a blizzard are all signs that my thyroid medication is working to keep me sane.
Also, I feel really sorry for the person I was this time last year, 'cause this shit would have sent her straight into a downward spiral of desperation and despair.
It's a holiday miracle!
It looks quite pretty, and, will look even prettier tonight when the lights are on.
As an aside, the fact that this weather isn't bothering me, that the snow accumulating on my precious decorations isn't making me insane, and that I am feeling a general calmness at the thought of driving to work in a blizzard are all signs that my thyroid medication is working to keep me sane.
Also, I feel really sorry for the person I was this time last year, 'cause this shit would have sent her straight into a downward spiral of desperation and despair.
It's a holiday miracle!
Tuesday, December 03, 2013
Another Pinterest Victory
When I decorated the house for the holidays this past weekend, I used a mix of old and new decorations. The newest were things that I crafted with my own two hands, inspired by pins on Pinterest, and created after viewing instructions on You Tube; I have become cyber-crafty. It's a gift, really. Or, you know, not.
My point is: I have had more than my share of Pinterest Fails, but, my Christmas decorations were a victory.
The materials I used included Deco Mesh (I am having a temporary love affair with Deco Mesh. I'm certain it will pass), a Deco Mesh Work Garland and Deco Mesh Work Wreath form (I got mine on Amazon, but saw them later at Hobby Lobby), shatter-proof ornaments, sheer wide ribbon, various holiday picks, and a glue gun.
The finished products included a wreath and two large garlands. In all, the project cost less than forty dollars and took about two hours of my time, and that includes shopping for the materials.
See why I am enamored of the Deco Mesh?
My point is: I have had more than my share of Pinterest Fails, but, my Christmas decorations were a victory.
The materials I used included Deco Mesh (I am having a temporary love affair with Deco Mesh. I'm certain it will pass), a Deco Mesh Work Garland and Deco Mesh Work Wreath form (I got mine on Amazon, but saw them later at Hobby Lobby), shatter-proof ornaments, sheer wide ribbon, various holiday picks, and a glue gun.
The finished products included a wreath and two large garlands. In all, the project cost less than forty dollars and took about two hours of my time, and that includes shopping for the materials.
See why I am enamored of the Deco Mesh?
Monday, December 02, 2013
Deck the Halls With the Entire Contents of the attic, Fa,la,la,la,la,la,la,la,la!
My house looks like Christmas threw up all over it. This makes me surprisingly happy. Mostly, I am happy that I am done with the decorating; that shit takes it out of me, like, for real. I would like to believe that, now that the decorating is complete, I will be able to catch up on my rest, but; there are cookies to be baked and candy to be made and presents to be purchased and wrapped, so, not so much with the resting, I'm thinking.
That's ok; Christmas comes but once a year, and, I'm reveling in it this year. Besides, I can always rest next year.
Plus, I'm glad that I got the outside decorating out of the way, considering that a snowstorm is in the forecast for this week. I seriously doubt that I would have felt nearly so festive if I was setting up the porch tree in a blizzard.
That's ok; Christmas comes but once a year, and, I'm reveling in it this year. Besides, I can always rest next year.
Plus, I'm glad that I got the outside decorating out of the way, considering that a snowstorm is in the forecast for this week. I seriously doubt that I would have felt nearly so festive if I was setting up the porch tree in a blizzard.
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