This is Why I'll Never be an Empty Nester

The Man-Cub is at a baseball tournament in a faraway community. He was asked to play with the varsity team and who could say no to that? So, he left with the team yesterday and won't return until sometime tomorrow. I asked the Cub to check in regularly (because that is what I do) and he has not disappointed me. In addition to his calls, the wife of one of the coaches has kept me informed via text message; her message about how well the Cub was playing yesterday was especially appreciated.

While the Cub is playing ball, The Teenager is house-sitting for Brandon's mom, who took a well-deserved vacation with her husband. The house-sitting gig lasts for a week, during which time I don't expect to see much of The Teenager or Katie, who is co-sitting with her.

All of this means that my house is quietly devoid of children. Which, is good practice for me for when they are both grown and gone. If I ever thought that I would be bored or have nothing to do once that inevitably happened, I was mistaken; I'm simply going to put my energy into the cats.

Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.

When I told them that they were going to be the lucky recipients of all of my affection and attention, this is the reaction I got:

They remind me more and more of my children every day.

This is really going to work out.

This Post Sponsored by KBtiedye

Ha! Just kidding! I don't do sponsored posts. But! If I were to break that very sacred personal rule, I would do it for this small business and it's fabulous proprietors. How could I not? I birthed one of them and have had the privilege of watching the other one grow from an awkward Middle Schooler to a gorgeous High School grad. So, yes, they would be the recipients of my advertising space, if I provided such a thing.

Although I don't, I do feel the need to document the fact that these lovely ladies have started a tie dye business that has provided a modest income upon which they have each managed to eke out a living. And, by a living, I mean that they have been able to finance their summer entertainment without begging a parent for money. Win-win!

Also, watching them meticulously document the expenses vs. profits from the business has been entertaining for me, as has watching their creativity grow and their delight in their achievements shine in their faces. And, not just when they are waving around the twenty dollar bills that they get for each of their creations.

Although they certainly are enjoying the profits.

Their delight is almost enough to make me overlook the giant mess that they make of my house during the creative process, which, now that I think about it; shouldn't I be getting a cut of the profits since I am providing their workspace?

Huh. I think I might have a negotiating point.

Anyway....KBtiedye...your one-stop shopping experience for Colorado tie dye. You heard it here, first.

Summer Stuff

It is almost officially the middle of July, which means that summer is halfway over. Already. This makes me so sad; I feel like I still have more than half a summer's worth of things that I want to do with the kids before they spiral off into their own orbits.

Speaking of orbits, Jana and I were talking about how we have yet to take the kids on the star-gazing party that we planned several summers ago; that makes me sad. I don't know if we can pull it together yet this summer, but I would really like to.

On the bright side, we have managed to cross some of the things that we planned off our To Do list; we did have that fabulous weekend at the lake, after all. And, I don't believe I mentioned it, but, I did manage to host Porch Night earlier this week. It was a spur-of-the-minute gathering, but I pulled together a Mexican-inspired evening that included a pitcher of truly good Sangria.

We also found the time to take the kids to Neighboring City to attend a baseball game. The home team won by several runs and the night was capped off by fireworks, so that was an enjoyable summer activity, even though I am still trying to avoid sugar and therefore had to skip the Cracker Jacks (insert sad face, here).

My garden is also coming along pretty well. It seems to be a little behind last year's garden, but I'm not stressing over it. Last night, I was able to harvest a good amount of lettuce for salads as well as some zuchinni that Hugh used in shish kabobs that he made on the grill, so; the garden is carrying its own weight around here.

That being said, I think that part of the reason for the garden's stunted growth is the heat that we have been experiencing the past week or so. The heat has made it challenging to do things around the yard, as well, but; Hugh did manage to finish out the patio that currently houses our fire pit. If you recall, that area of the yard once housed a small child's cottage and a swing set. As the kids grew, it evolved into a mulched area that featured a trampoline, and, now, has been re-paved and transformed for more mature entertaining. The kids love it and we love having their friends over for smores and hot chocolate in the fall. Unfortunately, the heat of the summer has made sitting around a fire seem somewhat unappealing, but, we are due for a cold front to chill out our nights any time now...

...did you hear that, Mother Nature? I am actually requesting slightly cooler evenings. It's a first; you better write it down.

Once that happens, I'm sure we will utilize the fire pit on a more regular basis. Regardless of the heat, I think Hugh will use it during my annual trip to Mayberry, which happens a little over a week from now. While I am enjoying the comforts of my childhood home, Hugh likes to host a small BBQ for his friends and I'm sure he will be excited to show off his handy work on the patio.

Speaking of my annual trip home, I am once again looking forward to spending quality time with my children at the Stampede festivities. This year, The Teenager will be driving up several days after the Man-Cub and I as she is babysitting and won't be off until later in the week. She is bringing Not the Boyfriend along on the trip, so I am not worried about her making the drive alone.

This will give me and the Cub several hours of quality bonding time, during which I am certain to embarrass him with inappropriate questions and probing inquiries. Lucky him!

Once we get to Mayberry, I will abandon the interrogation-and my parenting duties in general-to revert back to my own adolescence, as is my way when I am home. It's going to be great! And, I'm going to pretend that summer doesn't end practically the minute that I return from that trip.

Because that is also my way.

I Still Have Time!

I was listening to a radio show this morning and the DJs were discussing the results of a survey that asked Americans to pinpoint the age at which certain activities should cease; while I have "aged out" in certain categories, I am pleased to report that I am still in the running in several:

1.  Age at which a woman* should stop wearing a bikini: 47...ok, at 45, I still have two years in which to rock the two-piece. Or, like Helen Mirren, I can rock it into my late 60's; it all depends on my lifestyle and fitness level.

2.  Age at which a woman* should stop wearing a miniskirt: 35...wha? I wear miniskirts several times a week throughout the summer. And, granted, they aren't micro-minis, but still. This "rule" sucks donkey balls.

3.  Age at which a woman* should stop wearing a boob tube: 33... Dude, please. These C cups haven't seen a boob tube since the summer between sixth and seventh grade, not because my boobs aren't great (they are), but because I am a lady and boob tubes belong in the trailer park.

4.  Age at which a woman* should stop wearing knee high boots: 47... Whew! I still have time to break in the thigh-high riding boots that I got on clearance this spring. That would have been a sad waste of $29.99.

5.  Age at which a woman* should stop wearing leggings...45. What the fuck am I supposed to wear with my knee-high boots when I'm 46? Bad rule!

6.  Age at which women* should stop piercing their navels: 35... I just slipped under that one when I had mine pierced at age 30. Lucky me. Although, if I had another navel to pierce, I would do it now, just to thumb my nose at that "rule".

7.  Age at which a woman* should stop wearing long hair: 53... This surprised me, actually. But, only because it was followed by #8...

8.  Age at which a woman* should stop wearing a ponytail: 51... WTF? How can I be expected to still have long hair until I am 53 and not wear a pony? That's just ridiculous.

9.  Age at which women* should stop wearing stilettoes: 51...Right before they trade them in for a walker, I'm guessing.

The survey was interesting, but, I think it lacked one important question: At what age should  women stop allowing stupid surveys to dictate what they wear and when they wear it?

Answer: Birth.

*No data available on when a man should stop doing this. Because that would be an entirely different survey.

Weekend Update: The 4th of July Edition

The holiday weekend has been incredibly busy, we've had tons of fun, a million laughs, gotten more than a couple of sunburns, and generally just enjoyed the company of good friends in a gorgeous setting.

We are also completely exhausted; because that's what getting up early to go to the lake and clinging to a tow rope for dear life while being dragged around said lake will do to you. Wouldn't trade it for a thing, obviously, but I am really sore today.

In addition to tubing, wake boarding, and knee boarding, we also got in some quality sun time (see above: sunburns) and the menfolk attempted to fish, although nothing was biting. While they made the attempt, the rest of us were either napping or floating on the tubes, so it was a bit of downtime from the physical activity.

We also found time to bank the boats so that we could take a hike on the trail that runs around the lake. Unfortunately (or, fortunately, depending on how you look at it), the water level in the lake this year is high enough to have completely covered the rock ledge that we usually jump from, as well as the spot that we usually take our group photo, so we had to improvise.

After we pulled off the lake on the 4th, we drove into Pixler to watch the fireworks and then crashed so hard, I didn't think we would ever be able to wake the boys up on Saturday morning, but, we managed, and we hit day two just as hard as day one, ending the evening with an impromptu stop at the drive-in movie theater in Pixler, where we gained dozens of quizzical looks from the other patrons who had apparently never seen two redneck families watch a double-feature from their boats.

As an aside, most comfortable way to watch a movie at the drive in, like, ever. Highly, highly recommended.

So, that brings me to today, the final day of this awesome three-day weekend. Today, I am cleaning house, doing laundry, weeding the garden, and doing bookwork at the hardware store.

It goes without saying: I would rather be on the lake.

It's Independence Day!

We are going to celebrate our independence by hauling two boats, ten people, one dog, and approximately five tons of gear to the lake. Our plan is to spend the day floating, boating, fishing, sunning, and tubing before securing the boats at the marina and driving into Pixler to watch the community fireworks.

Then, we are going to come home to crash for the night before getting up and doing it all over again tomorrow. We are clearly determined to make up for the time we lost on the lake this summer due to the wind, unseasonably cool temperatures, and summer baseball schedule.

Oh, and we are also planning to surprise the kids with an impromptu stop at the drive-in theater tomorrow night, where the plan is to watch the double-feature from the comfort of the boats. Not quite sure how that will turn out, but we figured it was worth a try.

So, lots and lots of pictures to be posted by the end of the weekend, I'm sure.

In the meantime, off to have a fun and safe 4th of July!

Apparently, You Can Run AND You Can Hide

Yesterday, my co-worker and I took a group of kids on a pro-social outing that consisted of a rousing game of Zombie Apocalypse, which, is a game that my co-worker made up completely on her own.

The game required that we draw straws to determine who would be the original zombie, then that person counted to 100 while the rest of us scattered amongst the rocks, boulders, and sagebrush that made up the terrain of our chosen playground. Once the count was complete, it was the zombie's job to hunt us down and tag us with a wiffle ball, at which point we also became zombies and joined in the hunt. The game was over when there was one man (or, woman) left standing.

In the first game, I was the second person to become zombified because I lack the ninja goat DNA required to allow me to scale limestone rock faces and the speed necessary with which to outrun an eleven-year old child pretending to be a zombie.

Live and learn.

Because, in the second game, I was the winner due to the fact that I can hide in a rock crevice like nobody's business.

I hid out in that crevice for a solid forty minutes while every other person involved in the game joined the zombie hoard. Then, I waited another twenty minutes for the hoard to declare defeat before revealing myself.

I was pretty proud of myself despite the fact that I didn't win a damn thing for being the last man (woman) standing.

Hey, at least I got bragging rights.