Monday, September 08, 2014

Frosted, With a Cherry on Top

When I went to the salon on Friday and asked for a cut that included long layers but that didn't make my hair look shorter, the stylist kind of looked at me funny. Then, I asked her to make sure to cut off the damaged ends, but, again, to leave my hair long. At that point, she shook her head and chuckled before asking me if I would also like to have my cake and eat it, too. And I was like, "Is that even possible? Because, yes, I want that".

Obviously, I couldn't have everything that I wanted, but, I do now have a head full of healthier hair and some really fun long layers, despite losing a good two and a half to three inches of total length, so; I basically got the equivalent of a mini-cupcake and I ate that bitch with relish.


The End.

Saturday, September 06, 2014

Spoiler Alert: I Did Not Get the Mom Cut

I would post pictures of my hair but I am currently experiencing technical difficulties in getting them from my phone to my computer. Eventually, the Man-Cub will be along to rescue me from my ineptitude, but, until then, trust me when I say that I am still sporting a decidedly anti-mom hairstyle.

Because I am sure you were just dying to know.

Things I Have Failed to Mention

I don't have anything particularly interesting to write about today, so, instead I will just crack open my brain and splatter this page with the random garbage that is currently floating around up there. Doesn't that sound like fun?!

The question was rhetorical, please don't feel like you have to answer it.

So, where to begin...

...September marks the sixth-month anniversary of my breakup with Diet Pepsi. That's right, I have been Diet Pepsi sober for six whole months. Still not a personal best, but, certainly a step in the right direction. I am still sucking down water and unsweetened iced tea like it is my job and I haven't actively craved a Diet Pepsi since Mile 6 of Hike-a-Palooza 2014. I'm pretty proud of myself for powering through that without caving to the desire, actually.

...While driving home from Hike-a-Palooza, we had a conversation with the Man-Cub wherein we determined that, although he had a good time with us, he is missing the company of his sibling. When we offered to adopt an orphan to keep him company, he was open to the idea. On the condition that it be a boy and that he not be, and I quote, "a dick". So, if any of you know of an adoption agency that specializes in orphans of the non-dick variety, please give me a shout out.**

...I am having my roots touched up again today and have decided to get my hair cut. I am hoping for long layers that will give my hair some body and swing without sacrificing the length that I have managed to achieve. Or, I will just submit to the will of the people and get a Mom Cut, like all of the other mothers we saw at The Teenager's college. I haven't quite decided yet.

...The Man-Cub has a football game this evening and then nothing else scheduled for the weekend. I see a lot of housework in my future.

...I am also hoping to finally make pickles from the numerous cucumbers that I pulled from my garden over the past two weeks or so. Assuming that cucumbers picked over a week ago are still pickle-ish.

...I also want to try to catch up on The Teenager's scrapbooks so that I can get to a place where I can work on the Man-Cub's; it would be nice to have his up-to-date when he graduates in three years.

...Speaking of the Cub, he brought home the order form for his class ring yesterday. I knew this was coming but I'm still shaken by the fact that it is time to order his ring; it seems like The Teenager graduated and left us just milliseconds after we ordered hers. I'm not ready for this.

...I have recently fallen off the wagon when it comes to healthy eating and sugar avoidance, so, I am starting over. Again. I need to remind myself how much better I feel when I am not poisoning myself with sweets.

...The weather is starting to turn cooler and I've noticed a few yellow leaves peeking out from the late-summer foliage. I've already busted out the autumn porch decorations and I'm on the hunt for mums with which to decorate the front steps (this year, I fully intend to plant them once they have served their decorative purposes. I'm doing it. I am).

...I am also weeding through my fall wardrobe to decide what stays and what goes into the donations pile. I'm looking forward to jeans and sweater and scarves and boots and to wearing my absolute favorite color palette of scarlett, garnet, teal, forest green, and royal purple.

...I am not looking forward to the harsh winter weather that will follow.

...And, I think that is about all I have for now; time to step back and look at the splatter pattern...not too shabby. It's no Picasso, but it'll do.

**This is not to say that we think there are orphans who are dicks. Or, that we are necessarily entertain the idea of adopting an orphan, non-dick or not. Also, how PC has our world gotten when I actually feel like I have to make a disclaimer about a joke on my personal blog? That is also a rhetorical question to which you need not feel pressured to respond.

Thursday, September 04, 2014

Its the First Day of Regular Season

For the pros, that is; the amateurs have been playing for a while now, including my favorite amateur, the Man-Cub.

But you already knew that.

The Cub and his JV team played earlier this week and they got creamed. If we didn't know better, we would have thought that they were playing against the varsity team from the opposing town rather than it's JV, such was the difference in size between our boys and theirs. As it is, we have to accept the fact that our boys are petite. That hardly makes them delicate, as evidenced by their willingness to throw their (much smaller) bodies into the path of a stampeding opponent.



The Cub had a pretty good game, he made some great blocks and a couple of impressive tackles. He also got his bell rung on a couple of plays but I choose to remember the more pleasant aspects of the game because that is how I roll.

As do most football moms, I think.


 
 
Our next game will be on Friday night. It is a varsity game, so, while the Cub will dress out, he probably won't play. He's fine with that. We're fine with that. However, it begs the question: do we attend the out-of-town game or do we not? Hugh says it could go either way, the Cub says we shouldn't bother, and I think that it is our duty to attend in support of the team regardless of whether or not the Cub plays. I think we all know that my position will win, so, I guess the real question is: How many layers do I need to wear in order to stay warm?
 
Inquiring minds want to know.

Wednesday, September 03, 2014

Take a Hike, Part Two

Day two of our Labor Day Hike-a-Palooza started with a hearty breakfast at the Village Inn, which, is where all Hike-a-Palooza breakfasts should be served. Then, armed with coffee-to-go, we made the forty minute drive to Rifle Falls State Park, which, is located outside of a town that is close enough to Petticoat Junction to be in our sports league, but, far enough away for us to have never heard of the park. I'm...not quite sure how that happened because the park is lovely.


When we arrived, there was one space left in the parking lot, so, we were already ahead of the game, if you compared it to the day before (which I clearly did. And, do). The hike to the falls took a lot less time than the hike the day before and was comparatively easy, given that there was no vertical climb over rocks and boulders. Instead, we enjoyed a slight incline that meandered around the falls, through a series of caves, up a slightly steeper incline, over the falls, and back down to the parking area.






Our entire time in the park lasted about two hours and we hiked two miles. I won't estimate how much climbing we did but, it's safe to say; the Man-Cub did the most (SHOCKER).







My hip cooperated quite well, thanks to the soak in the mineral hot springs the night before and, with the easier terrain, I actually enjoyed the hike quite a bit. I did not, however, enjoy the tiny caves that Hugh and the Man-Cub insisted on exploring any more than I enjoyed the thrill rides at the amusement park that we had visited the previous day, following the hike to Hanging Lakes (hiking and heights, in general, were the themes of our weekend, in case you haven't clued in). I'm just not that interested in possible self-mangling at the hand (paws?) of a bear or death by a fall from great heights (how high? THIS high....




...that's some messed up shit, right there), so, call me crazy.

So, while the males crawled through the crevices, I entertained myself with thoughts of bubble baths and pedicures. Because, despite the fact that I currently live solely with males and critters of the make persuasion, I am female and I like feminine things.


Which is why I am planning our next weekend getaway. I'm thinking less outdoorsy stuff and more culture, in fact, the Man-Cub might just have to sit through a musical. Hey, if I can hike ten miles in two days, he can sit through a couple of dance numbers.

That's fair.

Take a Hike, Part One

So, I had a nice long sleep last night and a brief cat-nap at work while on my lunch hour (have I ever mentioned how fortunate I am to have a couch in my office?); I am now re-energized and ready to tackle the topic of our Labor Day hikes.

I'll start at the beginning, which is the most logical place to start.

As I said in my previous post, when we arrived at the parking lot below the Hanging Lake trail head, the lot was completely full. And, by full, I mean that there were cars parked in every available space as well as cars parked in areas that were most definitely not approved for parking; the local sheriff's department could have made a killing on parking ticket fees, you know, if there had actually been an officer out writing tickets (there was not).

We determined that our best bet would be to turn back and park in the second nearest parking lot, which happened to be about 3/4 of a mile away, according to the lie that Hugh told me at the time.

So, that is what we did. We parked, strapped on our gear, and started out on the bike path that runs along the river. It was a beautiful day for a stroll and we settled into a nice pace, interrupted by the occasional bike rider.

About a mile and a quarter into our 3/4 mile stroll, we passed an electronic billboard that warned motorists of the fact that the Hanging Lakes parking lot-located 3/4 of a mile up the road-was full, which was when I realized that Hugh was a lying liar. At that point, however, I had no choice but to continue on. I did file the information for future reference (and as ammunition for the next time we have an argument and I need an example of Hugh's dishonesty; because passive aggressive is my modus operandus).

Anyway, we made it to the trailhead, where I was certain to read the trail map for an accurate (and honest) idea of just how far we would be hiking (two miles up, two miles down). We guzzled some water, posed for a couple of pictures, and began our ascent.



Reading the trail map, because full disclosure is important
 
The trail was really, really rocky and steep. There were seven bridges spanning the small creek that ran down from the top and Hugh insisted on stopping at each one for a picture. I'm not kidding when I say that I look more and more exhausted in each picture. I also visibly list to the side farther and farther the higher we climbed and the more my right hip hurt. Not to be all dramatic or anything, but,It's kind of like a photographic timeline of torture. Ok, that was a wee bit dramatic.
 


I think the biggest mistake we made was in allowing an almost-sixteen-year-old boy, in top physical condition, to set the pace. In fact, had I led the charge up the mountain, I am ninety-nine percent certain I would not have experienced the pain of grinding my hip joint into a fine dust. Of course, had I set the pace, we would still be there, but, that is neither here nor there.



Halfway mark! Right? Please tell me I'm right...


The last one hundred yards of the trail consisted of a near-vertical climb up a rock stairwell. At that point my mind was playing tricks on me and the delusions had set in. I did have a brief moment of clarity, however, during which it occurred to me that those seven bridges were probably intended to shelter trolls, since it was only logical that the Three Billy Goats Gruff resided somewhere on that mountain; only a billy goat should climb a near vertical rock wall, staircase cavalierly drilled into the face or not.



Once we made it up the stairwell of imminent disaster, we found ourselves at our destination. And, it was....not really worth the climb. Oh, it was ok, if waterfalls and breathtaking natural beauty are your thing, but, otherwise? Yeah, total waste of time. See?




It would have been refreshing to plunge into the crystalline waters of the lake, but, sadly, the waters are protected and there is no swimming allowed. In fact, even touching the water can have dire consequences for the marine life, flora, and fauna of the lake. So, the best you can do is pose for pictures in front of the falls and hope that you have enough water left in your camelback to dribble a tiny stream over your head to cool your heated brow.

Because, after you take those pictures and eat a handful of trail mix, you still have a two mile hike down the mountain and a two-mile walk back to your car (dragging one leg because your hip joint has been ground down to the consistency of sand).

The hike back down the mountain took about ten minutes less than the hike up, give or take ten minutes. I think it would have been faster had the trail not been as crowded as it was (all those cars in the parking lot had transported passengers, after all), but, I also can't say that I minded making frequent stops to allow the right of way to the people ascending the mountain during our descent; I used the time to stretch out my legs (I had hoped to do a yoga series at the lake, but, alas, it was far too crowded and, I don't like to Downward Dog in front of an audience). Hugh spent the breaks taking pictures (500 photos and I only had to delete 450 due to blurriness) while the Man-Cub climbed on rocks and scaled boulders as though billy goat were a main component of his DNA (not from my side of the family, I assure you).

Once we made it to the bottom of the trail, I was feeling pretty cocky. When we eventually made it back to the car, my cockiness had been replaced with the glaring realization that I am getting old, see above: Hips Ground into Sand.

Luckily, we were able to enjoy a soak in the mineral hot springs later that evening. That, coupled with a fist-full of ibuprofen enabled me to walk the next day, which, proved useful when we arrived at our next destination: Rifle Falls State Park, for more waterfalls and some bonus cave exploration. Oh, and hiking. Can't forget the hiking (I know my hip never will). But, I'll post all about that experience tomorrow.

I can tell you are on the edge of your seat.

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

If You're Going to Run With the Big Dogs...

I survived my weekend with the boys. And, can I just say; if I am going to hang with the boys, I am going to have to step up the workouts, like big time.

I did manage to hike over ten miles in two days, which doesn't look like much when I type it, but let me tell you, it was a lot. The first day, we hiked to Hanging Lakes, which, is about a three-hour hike, round trip. No biggie, right? Right. Except, we couldn't find a parking spot in the lot at the base of the trailhead, so, we ended up walking two miles from the next nearest lot just to get to the base of the trail. The walk to the trailhead didn't seem that bad; the walk back to the car after hiking up to the lake was a bitch.

But, despite some massive soreness in my hips, I did ok. I didn't even have the slightest problem with my feet, so, the stretches I have been doing for my plantar fasciitis have been extremely effective.

I will write about the hike in more detail later, but, since we took about 500 pictures,  think I will get some of those out of the way, first. Plus, I need a bit more time to recover. Even my brain is tired, y'all.









More later, when I've had a chance to recover.