Had my brother lived, today would have been his 45th birthday. I am also 45 and will be for the next fifteen days, so, we were totally twins! Irish Twins, but, you know, close enough.
I called my mom earlier this evening to see how she was doing and we chatted a little about how Dad must be enjoying his first opportunity to spend his son's birthday with him. I'm betting there was a ball of some sort involved. Or, beer. I guess it all depends on your idea about Heaven and how it works up there. I personally believe that we see the people we love in the form that we want to see them in, and, I believe that that form can change, depending on what we need to see.
If I'm right, Dad will watch his son grow up, finally.
I can't think of a bigger blessing, today.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
What Would Martha Stewart Do?
As I have been slowly decorating the house for Christmas, I've made a conscious effort to avoid the areas of the house that are still decorated with fall colors and Thanksgiving decorations. I've done that because, as I was putting away the Halloween decorations, I casually informed Hugh that my plan was to skip the cornucopias, pumpkins, pilgrims, and turkey décor because decorating for three holidays in two months was just too much for me to handle; might as well skip straight to Christmas, since getting it out early was the plan.
Hugh? Not so much on board with that plan.
I think he was worried that it was some sort of sign that I was shutting down or spiraling down into a deep depression from which I might never Martha my way out. The alarmed look on his face when he asked me if I was, you know, serious, was enough to make me rethink the plan.
So, the house is currently sporting both Christmas and Thanksgiving décor. It's somewhat bi-polar, but, thankfully, my reputation as a Homemaking Diva is intact.
Phew!
What a relief. Am I right?
Hugh? Not so much on board with that plan.
I think he was worried that it was some sort of sign that I was shutting down or spiraling down into a deep depression from which I might never Martha my way out. The alarmed look on his face when he asked me if I was, you know, serious, was enough to make me rethink the plan.
So, the house is currently sporting both Christmas and Thanksgiving décor. It's somewhat bi-polar, but, thankfully, my reputation as a Homemaking Diva is intact.
Phew!
What a relief. Am I right?
Monday, November 10, 2014
Counting My Blessings. And Counting, And Counting
This weekend was very productive.
Or, I suppose I should say, I was very productive this weekend (1.)
Mission Get Off My Ass started Friday, after work, when I enlisted the Man-Cub's help to cart the numerous boxes containing my Christmas village down from the attic. Upon depositing the last box in the living room, the Cub jetted out the door to spend the afternoon and evening playing basketball with his friends at the Rec. Center, and, I can't say that I blame him; village construction is time consuming and exhausting. Plus, it wasn't called Mission Get the Cub Off HIS Ass for a reason.
Anyhoodle, I started working on setting up the miniature houses, shops, and tiny residents at 3:30 and I placed the last tree in just the right location at 8:40. Granted, a large majority of the time was spent staring helplessly at the boxes as I tried to decide exactly how to get started, but, once I was in the groove, things went a little faster.
I did struggle a bit with cord management again this year, discovering an entire strand of lights that had died while in storage; I'm guessing the death was due to natural causes and don't suspect foul play. Unfortunately, I also discovered more breakage this year than in any year that I can readily recall, so; repair time was added to the chore (2.)
But, once the job was completed, I had a gorgeous display that will look amazing once I actually turn it on (3.)
Saturday morning, the Man-Cub and I made a trip to the Salvation Army to drop off several bags of clothing that had accumulated in the garage over the past couple of years. While we were driving into Hooterville, Mom called to say that she had finally been able to access my Dad's online Fantasy Football accounts and had discovered an $800 credit. She was tickled with the windfall because Dad had told the Man-Cub last summer that he and Mom wanted to pay for his sports camps over the next couple of years and she wanted me to let the Cub know that this was Dad's way of making sure that it happens, which, I did (4.)
The Cub was just as tickled as Mom, I think.
Later in the afternoon, I made the drive to Neighboring City for my monthly trip through Sam's Club. I always enjoy going there this time of year because there are usually good deals to be found on holiday items. This year, not so much. But, that was ok because I had more cash to spend on cute things in the mall and at Hobby Lobby, which ended up working out better, anyway (5.)
Sunday was the busiest day of the weekend by far. In all, I managed to: wash, dry and fold six loads of laundry, make deposits for two days worth of money at the store, write payroll checks, cook a whole chicken, store six quarts of homemade chicken broth, clean out the fridge, decorate the front porch for Christmas, which included putting up a tree, stringing lighted garland, and hanging three wreaths. Oh, and, before that, I swept the porch and brushed the cobwebs from the corners and ceilings.
It should be noted that the Man-Cub assisted with the tree by putting together the ancient (well, 23-year-old) tree stand, which, he accomplished in about a minute flat and while whistling Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (this feat usually requires Hugh's efforts plus a hammer and a string of cuss words). I swear, that child becomes more my hero every day.
I also took a thirty minute nap, because, well, because I was exhausted.
But, as I said, I accomplished so much! And, I know that it is really early to start decking the halls with Christmas decorations; trust me, I know. I'm only doing it because I will be in Mayberry for the week leading up to Thanksgiving and I don't know how I'll feel when I get back. What if I don't have it in me to be festive after spending the first holiday of our New Normal? It wouldn't be fair to the kids for me to skimp on my usual Christmas fare, so, I am planning ahead in the event that my heart just ain't in it when I get back.
I'm planning for crisis because that is what I do.
Also, because it keeps me busy and focused on the moment, and, when you are living moment-to-moment, focus is important.
Of course, at this rate, I'll have Valentine's Day cookies baked and frosted by Christmas Eve.
Ha! Kidding (6.)
Blessing Count: 6
(1) Grateful for an able body.
(2) Grateful for Super Glue.
(3) Grateful for friends and family who have gifted me with various pieces for the village since I began collecting it back in the early 90's.
(4) So very grateful that Dad is still finding little ways to show us that he is here, with us, and for us.
(5) Grateful for jobs that provide a decent living for my family.
(6) Grateful that I inherited my Dad's sense of humor.
Or, I suppose I should say, I was very productive this weekend (1.)
Mission Get Off My Ass started Friday, after work, when I enlisted the Man-Cub's help to cart the numerous boxes containing my Christmas village down from the attic. Upon depositing the last box in the living room, the Cub jetted out the door to spend the afternoon and evening playing basketball with his friends at the Rec. Center, and, I can't say that I blame him; village construction is time consuming and exhausting. Plus, it wasn't called Mission Get the Cub Off HIS Ass for a reason.
Anyhoodle, I started working on setting up the miniature houses, shops, and tiny residents at 3:30 and I placed the last tree in just the right location at 8:40. Granted, a large majority of the time was spent staring helplessly at the boxes as I tried to decide exactly how to get started, but, once I was in the groove, things went a little faster.
I did struggle a bit with cord management again this year, discovering an entire strand of lights that had died while in storage; I'm guessing the death was due to natural causes and don't suspect foul play. Unfortunately, I also discovered more breakage this year than in any year that I can readily recall, so; repair time was added to the chore (2.)
But, once the job was completed, I had a gorgeous display that will look amazing once I actually turn it on (3.)
Saturday morning, the Man-Cub and I made a trip to the Salvation Army to drop off several bags of clothing that had accumulated in the garage over the past couple of years. While we were driving into Hooterville, Mom called to say that she had finally been able to access my Dad's online Fantasy Football accounts and had discovered an $800 credit. She was tickled with the windfall because Dad had told the Man-Cub last summer that he and Mom wanted to pay for his sports camps over the next couple of years and she wanted me to let the Cub know that this was Dad's way of making sure that it happens, which, I did (4.)
The Cub was just as tickled as Mom, I think.
Later in the afternoon, I made the drive to Neighboring City for my monthly trip through Sam's Club. I always enjoy going there this time of year because there are usually good deals to be found on holiday items. This year, not so much. But, that was ok because I had more cash to spend on cute things in the mall and at Hobby Lobby, which ended up working out better, anyway (5.)
Sunday was the busiest day of the weekend by far. In all, I managed to: wash, dry and fold six loads of laundry, make deposits for two days worth of money at the store, write payroll checks, cook a whole chicken, store six quarts of homemade chicken broth, clean out the fridge, decorate the front porch for Christmas, which included putting up a tree, stringing lighted garland, and hanging three wreaths. Oh, and, before that, I swept the porch and brushed the cobwebs from the corners and ceilings.
It should be noted that the Man-Cub assisted with the tree by putting together the ancient (well, 23-year-old) tree stand, which, he accomplished in about a minute flat and while whistling Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (this feat usually requires Hugh's efforts plus a hammer and a string of cuss words). I swear, that child becomes more my hero every day.
I also took a thirty minute nap, because, well, because I was exhausted.
But, as I said, I accomplished so much! And, I know that it is really early to start decking the halls with Christmas decorations; trust me, I know. I'm only doing it because I will be in Mayberry for the week leading up to Thanksgiving and I don't know how I'll feel when I get back. What if I don't have it in me to be festive after spending the first holiday of our New Normal? It wouldn't be fair to the kids for me to skimp on my usual Christmas fare, so, I am planning ahead in the event that my heart just ain't in it when I get back.
I'm planning for crisis because that is what I do.
Also, because it keeps me busy and focused on the moment, and, when you are living moment-to-moment, focus is important.
Of course, at this rate, I'll have Valentine's Day cookies baked and frosted by Christmas Eve.
Ha! Kidding (6.)
Blessing Count: 6
(1) Grateful for an able body.
(2) Grateful for Super Glue.
(3) Grateful for friends and family who have gifted me with various pieces for the village since I began collecting it back in the early 90's.
(4) So very grateful that Dad is still finding little ways to show us that he is here, with us, and for us.
(5) Grateful for jobs that provide a decent living for my family.
(6) Grateful that I inherited my Dad's sense of humor.
Saturday, November 08, 2014
Another Day, Another Thing
Earlier this morning, as I was drinking my coffee, I watched Guinness as he balanced on the windowsill, stealthily stalking the birds outside the breakfast nook window despite the glass barrier between them.
I keep two feeders for the flock of birds that reside in the bushes in our back alley and there is always a show going on outside that window. This provides a plethora of opportunities for Guinness to channel his inner jungle cat. Unfortunately for Guinness, centuries of breeding have left his species less "jungle cat" and more Three Stooges, as evidenced by the comical fall he took from the window ledge during this morning's stalking.
I laughed. HARD.
He was not amused.
I keep two feeders for the flock of birds that reside in the bushes in our back alley and there is always a show going on outside that window. This provides a plethora of opportunities for Guinness to channel his inner jungle cat. Unfortunately for Guinness, centuries of breeding have left his species less "jungle cat" and more Three Stooges, as evidenced by the comical fall he took from the window ledge during this morning's stalking.
I laughed. HARD.
He was not amused.
I meant to do that.
Finnigan was watching from his favorite spot; the rug on the floor in front of the French doors that lead out to the back porch. From there, he can watch the birds at the feeders; he also had the perfect view of his brother falling off the window ledge like Curly doing his best pratfall. You would think that Finnigan would be used to the occurrence, given the fact that poor Guinness is about the clumsiest cat on planet Earth, yet, he still managed to look slightly appalled.
The hell, bro? You are ruining our reputation for always landing on our feet.
Guinness recovered quickly and was back in the window in no time. He's still there, actually, since it is still early and the buffet is clearly open, as there are about twenty birds perched at the feeders.
Whatever, I'm fine.
I'm grateful for having had this little comedy to watch this morning. Mornings are hard, recently, and it's a blessing to be able to belly-laugh at someone else's expense.
Wait, that totally came out wrong.
But you probably know what I meant.
Wednesday, November 05, 2014
Day Five, With a Side of Rant
This is a soapbox...this is my brain on a soapbox...
Let's say, hypothetically, that one was working with a family to help preserve their parental rights. Let's say that the parents were in hypothetical danger of losing their three kids because they could not consistently provide the necessities required by the family. Let's say then, that one was assisting the family in creating a budget and had learned that the family received housing assistance that enabled them to pay $50 a month in rent for a five bedroom house (Yes, $50.00. FIFTY. 5-0) as well as recieving $798 in food stamps, $598 in cash assistance, and $325 in survivor's benefits.
Let's then say, hypothetically, that this family was three months behind in rent payments and was requesting funding from the program that one worked for; funding in the amount of $100 to fix a tire on the family's vehicle.
Let's add, hypothetically, that, during the budgeting process, it was disclosed that the family currently spends $220 per month on soda and candy (Dad has a sweet tooth, hypothetically), $175 per month on cigarettes, $286 per month on cell phone service, and $77.50 on dog food, in addition to the other expenses that a family of five routinely encounters.
Let us go on to learn, hypothetically, that neither parent is currently willing to work because doing so will force a reduction in the amount of public assistance that they are eligible to receive. Nor are they willing to reduce the amount of money that they spend on the above-mentioned items because "there is only so much in life from which they can derive pleasure and they deserve some happiness".
Now, hypothetically speaking, would it be wrong for one to mentally envision reaching across a table and bitch-slapping a hypothetical client's face?
No?
Good, that brings me to the things for which I am grateful, today.
I am grateful for having parents who raised me to understand that I am morally required to EARN my living.
I am grateful for having had the opportunity to attend an institution of higher learning to better enable myself to earn that living and I am eternally grateful to my parents for instilling in me the value of education.
I am grateful to have the job that I have, despite feeling the occasional need to bang my head against a wall, and, I am grateful for the people I work with for allowing me to vent my frustration with a system that is pretty clearly broken; you know, hypothetically speaking.
I am also quite grateful that I never took up smoking, because $175 a month for cigarettes? Jebus H. Cripes! Do you have any idea how much OPI that would buy?
Day-um!
Let's say, hypothetically, that one was working with a family to help preserve their parental rights. Let's say that the parents were in hypothetical danger of losing their three kids because they could not consistently provide the necessities required by the family. Let's say then, that one was assisting the family in creating a budget and had learned that the family received housing assistance that enabled them to pay $50 a month in rent for a five bedroom house (Yes, $50.00. FIFTY. 5-0) as well as recieving $798 in food stamps, $598 in cash assistance, and $325 in survivor's benefits.
Let's then say, hypothetically, that this family was three months behind in rent payments and was requesting funding from the program that one worked for; funding in the amount of $100 to fix a tire on the family's vehicle.
Let's add, hypothetically, that, during the budgeting process, it was disclosed that the family currently spends $220 per month on soda and candy (Dad has a sweet tooth, hypothetically), $175 per month on cigarettes, $286 per month on cell phone service, and $77.50 on dog food, in addition to the other expenses that a family of five routinely encounters.
Let us go on to learn, hypothetically, that neither parent is currently willing to work because doing so will force a reduction in the amount of public assistance that they are eligible to receive. Nor are they willing to reduce the amount of money that they spend on the above-mentioned items because "there is only so much in life from which they can derive pleasure and they deserve some happiness".
Now, hypothetically speaking, would it be wrong for one to mentally envision reaching across a table and bitch-slapping a hypothetical client's face?
No?
Good, that brings me to the things for which I am grateful, today.
I am grateful for having parents who raised me to understand that I am morally required to EARN my living.
I am grateful for having had the opportunity to attend an institution of higher learning to better enable myself to earn that living and I am eternally grateful to my parents for instilling in me the value of education.
I am grateful to have the job that I have, despite feeling the occasional need to bang my head against a wall, and, I am grateful for the people I work with for allowing me to vent my frustration with a system that is pretty clearly broken; you know, hypothetically speaking.
I am also quite grateful that I never took up smoking, because $175 a month for cigarettes? Jebus H. Cripes! Do you have any idea how much OPI that would buy?
Day-um!
Tuesday, November 04, 2014
Day Four
Today I attended the weekly meeting of my women's service group. It was the first meeting that I have attended since I have been back from Mayberry and the members showered me with hugs and pats on the back and gentle stroking. The majority of these women are older than me, by more than a couple of decades in many cases, yet they are as close to me as friends my own age.
A number of the women have experienced great loss, husbands, parents, children, friends; so they understand the stages of grief better than most. I am grateful for the wisdom that they shared with me today. I'm grateful for the comfort they provided.
I'm super grateful for the riotous game of BINGO that we played at the conclusion of the meeting, not because I won (I so did not), but because it was another reminder that there will always be laughter to follow the tears. Also, because it reminded me quite clearly of the years when my sisters and I would accompany Dad to the veteran's center to call out BINGO for the residents; those were fun times and they made for some great memories.
I'm grateful for memories these days as well as for the people who jog them from the recesses of my mind.
A number of the women have experienced great loss, husbands, parents, children, friends; so they understand the stages of grief better than most. I am grateful for the wisdom that they shared with me today. I'm grateful for the comfort they provided.
I'm super grateful for the riotous game of BINGO that we played at the conclusion of the meeting, not because I won (I so did not), but because it was another reminder that there will always be laughter to follow the tears. Also, because it reminded me quite clearly of the years when my sisters and I would accompany Dad to the veteran's center to call out BINGO for the residents; those were fun times and they made for some great memories.
I'm grateful for memories these days as well as for the people who jog them from the recesses of my mind.
Monday, November 03, 2014
Thirty Days, Day Three
Today I am grateful for the beauty that surrounds me. I know how lucky I am to live in a state that is as colorful as the people who call it home. This fall, in particular, has been gorgeous.
When I was in Mayberry for my Dad's funeral, I spent several afternoons walking in my old neighborhood; the weather was unseasonably warm and the colors heartbreakingly beautiful.
The warmth of the late-season sun, the colors of the leaves, the distinct autumn scent in the air and the sound of the leaves falling gently to the ground combined to soothe me as I walked. I felt connected to my Dad in a way that I couldn't experience when I was indoors, no matter how hard I tried.
Those walks saved me.
And I am grateful.
When I was in Mayberry for my Dad's funeral, I spent several afternoons walking in my old neighborhood; the weather was unseasonably warm and the colors heartbreakingly beautiful.
The warmth of the late-season sun, the colors of the leaves, the distinct autumn scent in the air and the sound of the leaves falling gently to the ground combined to soothe me as I walked. I felt connected to my Dad in a way that I couldn't experience when I was indoors, no matter how hard I tried.
Those walks saved me.
And I am grateful.
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