Thursday, October 04, 2007

In Which My Father is Scarred For Life by a Visit to Our Home

But, first! Photographic evidence that my son is physically incapable of keeping his hands out of his mouth during football. Yes, I know; he is still getting used to the mouth guard and yet, I am perturbed.

But, not as badly perturbed as The Girl was upon seeing a grown man’s plumber-butt at last night's game. Well, not if her reaction to it was an indication, anyway.

Which is to say, there were not enough thoughts of rainbows, puppies and unicorns in this world to erase that picture from her mind's eye.

Equally perturbed by the display however, was my father who-along with my mother-made the trip from my hometown for the sole purpose of watching the Man-Cub’s game (the peep-show was a bonus).

Also, I’m pretty sure they neglected to read the fine print on the Grandparenting contract. Particularly the section that specifies grandparents must endure, without complaint, any eye trauma caused by vicious displays of butt-crackery when observing an activity in which their grand-spawn are participating. Because, my father, he complained.

But, as only my father can which is to say, humorously.

As compensation for witnessing That to Which No One Should Be Subjected, I treated Mom and Dad to homemade French-dip sandwiches for dinner. And, while I am aware that it failed abysmally as adequate compensation; it was either that or frozen fish-sticks so, work with me, here.

Besides, they just got back from a relaxing vacation to Hawaii; I wouldn’t want to add further to their spoilage. Although, I must point out they had no such regard for my children; showering them with gifts from the islands, not the least of which included the gift of a coconut which immediately sent The Girl into orbit.

On a related topic, if I hear “Can we split the coconut open yet? Can we? Can we?” one more time before the weekend, I will scream.

Or, you know, subject the child to a marathon showing of America’s Funniest Videos, the Plumber Butt Edition.

That’ll learn her.

1 comment:

  1. I'm still happy for your parents trip to Hawaii and by that I mean extremely jealous!