This means several things:
- When you are in my home, you will be expected to help yourself to food in the refrigerator and cupboards.
- You will then be expected to clean up after yourself.
- When you travel with us to a sporting event, you can rest assured that I will have packed you a lunch. And snacks. And drinks. You will never go hungry when under my care.
- I will always refer to you as "baby", "small fry", or, "second son"/ "second daughter" (depending on your gender, I mean, obviously). You are expected to answer to this nickname. Expressing total embarrassment at being called "baby" in public is totally acceptable (why should you dodge that bullet; my real children don't).
- When you are with me, I will correct your grammar. I can't help myself.
- I will defend you, protect you, correct you, and encourage you to succeed when your own parents are unavailable to do so.
- You are expected to call me if you ever need something and can't reach your own parents.
- I will cheer for you at sporting events just as loudly and proudly as I do for The Teenager and/or the Man-Cub.
- If you need sunscreen, I will have it. If you don't realize that you need sunscreen, I will remind you...numerous times.
- Need an umbrella? Aspirin? Cold pack for a sprain? Extra jacket? Towel? Whatever you need, it's likely in my car/purse/beach bag, etc.; help yourself.
- I will remind you, as often as I can, that you are awesome, smart, beautiful, talented, kind, and wonderful.
- When you are naughty (all kids are, I get it), I will shake my head at you and give you the Mom Look. Sometimes, I might be cross with you, but, it's only because I know you can do/be better.
In short, I will treat you like one of my own.
And, by God, you will LIKE it, young man/young lady!
How am I doing, so far?