Monday, August 11, 2008

Berries, Bodies, Bummers

The weather finally cooperated with us on Friday and we were able to have Porch Night following the Man-Cub’s last session of football camp. Since football camp had been rained out the previous evening and the high school football team doesn’t have a free evening in which to make up the hour; the players and coach graciously gifted each of the kids with a team practice jersey, an honest-to-god team jersey! as the Man-Cub calls it, to make up for any disappointment. It was a really sweet gesture and, frankly, the entire three-day camp cost all of ten bucks; I would have happily called it a donation to the team had we been rained out all three days.

Supporting the home team, that’s how I roll.

Go Pirates! Whoo!

Anywaaay, Porch Night was fun, as usual. Jana and I spent some time going through pictures we have taken so far this summer and psyching ourselves up for the weekend trip ahead of us although, it didn’t require too much psyching because we are both looking forward so very much to the experience. The kids, it should be noted, are still in the dark as to the fact that we are all going somewhere together, instead believing that we are taking separate and wildly divergent weekend trips; can’t wait to see the look on their faces when reality hits.

Saturday was, perhaps, the laziest day that Hugh and I have spent all summer. I got up early to enjoy my coffee and a croissant in peace and quiet, never realizing that I could have enjoyed the same experience had I stayed in bed hours longer since the Man-Cub finally bounced down the stairs at around 10:00, Hugh put in an appearance at about 10:30, and The Girl didn’t rise until almost 11:00.

I pity them all once school starts next week.

Yikes, next week!

Once the family was out of bed we puttered around the house. For the first time all summer, Hugh didn’t have anything pressing to do in the yard or on the house so, he enjoyed his Saturday from the comfort of the couch. I reorganized my scrapbooking supplies and tried to convince myself to get started on the massive endeavor that will be Catching Up on the Kid’s Scrapbooks but, the mere thought of the project overwhelmed me and I joined Hugh on the couch, instead.

Later that evening, we went out to dinner with the kids and did some shopping. On the way home we had an enjoyable little chat about the fact that Hugh doesn’t tell me anything. And, by anything, I specifically mean that he did not tell me that, last week before the Corn Festival, he found a dead body.

A dead body in a van parked behind the liquor store. Don’t you think that, maybe, just maybe, that item would be at least a little bit conversation-worthy? Ok, not a conversation for the dinner table, obviously but, a mention, maybe? In passing, even? I think so, too.

Instead, I heard about it from some people at the store, several days after the fact. The conversation then went something like “Hey, Chelle, crazy thing, Hugh finding that body and all, huh?” to which I replied “UM, what?”


So, I had been giving Hugh a hard time about that little ditty for the past few days and Saturday’s conversation circled back to it:

Hugh: Hey, did I tell you that I found a motorcycle helmet on the road?
Chelle: No.
Hugh: I did. It was a little road-rashed but in pretty good shape, otherwise.
Chelle: Was there, like a severed head in it when you found it? ‘Cuz, that’s just the type of thing that you would forget to tell me about.
Hugh: You are never going to get over this, are you?
Chelle: Nope.

In a sneaky attempt to change the subject, Hugh started pointing out formations in the clouds as he drove. It was a very good evening for cloud-watching; we were able to clearly identify the gopher from Caddyshack as well as Godzilla. Godzilla looked like he was facing off with the gopher, preparing to torch him with his fire-breath so I did a really lame imitation of a badly dubbed Japanese movie, speaking while moving my lips out of time with the words, all of which served to remind Hugh that he married a total freak; a fact he was about to expound upon when his attention was diverted by an extremely loud fart from the backseat.

It was impressive; Godzilla couldn’t have done any better and my freakishness was momentarily forgotten in exchange for a discussion about the Man-Cub’s rare and disgusting talent for flatulence.

Changing subjects (you’re welcome), the kids and I spent Sunday with Jana and the kids. We picked raspberries until we were scratched and bleeding (Jana), our fingers were stained pink from the raspberry juice (me) and our bellies were full-to-bursting with berries (everybody else). I ended up with eight pints of berries for the freezer as well as a couple of giant summer squashes from Jana’s garden (her squashes reproduce like rabbits, unlike my barren plants).

After the berry-picking, we took the kids to the swimming pool and, while they swam, we sunbathed on the pool deck. It was a very nice day and a sad reminder that summer is almost over. Our lazy days, infrequent though they may be, are coming to an end soon.

Which is such a Bummer.

Speaking of which, I have to go to work now. Hey! Maybe I'll hear all about how my husband found like, a dead body in a van behind a liquor store! Oh, wait, been there, done that.

Sadly, no t-shirt.


  1. That's men for husband never tells me anything, but then when I somehow find out about it, he swears he told me and either: 1) I forgot or 2) I just wasn't listening. Men!

  2. AMEN! to posey!

    So was it a murdered body?

    Yummm berry picking.