I don't even know how to start this one, so, I guess I'll just put it all out there and you can sort through it and pick up the pieces that make sense to you. Or not. No judgement either way!
Ok. So. I have always considered myself to be somewhat spiritual. I believe in God and angels and life after death and all of those typical Christian beliefs, and, I think that, for me, those beliefs bring me comfort and hope and a feeling of peace when I need it most.
If you've followed along on this blog for long enough, you know that my family has had several meaningful interactions with dragonflies, which, have come to represent all of those spiritual truths that I hold dear. If you haven't read here for that long, those stories can be found here, here, and here.
Recently, as you have probably gathered, I have been struggling mightily with all of this craziness that life has felt fit to toss our way. I know I'm not alone in that, and, I do believe that this will pass and that there will be brighter days ahead for all of us, but, sometimes, a girl needs a reminder, and, this week, the universe sent me that reminder in a big way.
Thursday evening, while cocooned in a comfy blanket on the couch with an unhealthy snack and a woe-is-me attitude (this is my default setting, recently), I was inexplicably motivated to go outside. No idea what spurred that decision, even now.
I went outside to the porch, where, I noticed a flock of about ten swallows flying in an odd pattern around the house, swooping and circling, in what can only be described as a synchronized air dance. I was fascinated and decided to watch for awhile, which, is when I noticed that, in addition to the swallows, there were literally dozens of dragonflies circling the yard.
Some were big, some were small. There were blue dragonflies and green dragonflies and orange dragonflies and, some that moved so quickly, I couldn't even begin to tell you what color they were.
I crossed from the porch to the old wooden swing that we purchased days before discovering that I was pregnant with Queen B; it sits under an old elm tree and I don't swing on it very often in the summertime because the mosquitoes in that area of the yard are generally too thick for comfort. This night, however, not one single mosquito molested me, and, I spent thirty minutes on the swing, delighting in peace and quiet as dozens of dragonflies flitted about me.
And, I'm not going to lie; I cried.
Not because I was sad, but; because it felt like a gift.
It felt like Someone was trying to tell me that everything will be ok. One way or another, things will be ok.
Hugh eventually found me, sitting on that swing, surrounded by dragonflies, tears running down my face, so, he bears witness to the phenomenon, and, for that I am grateful. It was not a dream. It happened and it was amazing.
And, things will be ok.
We just have to believe.