Oh. My. God. My. Legs. Hurt.

I recently added a new fitness DVD to my vast collection; a DVD starring one Miss Jillian Michaels, star of television's The Biggest Loser. Now, I know what you’re thinking, Jillian is a bitch and, you would be right. But, she bitches out of love people. She wants nothing more than for you to reach your full potential! And, if totally kicking your ass into a quivering mass of jelly-like substance is what it takes for you to achieve your fitness goals, well then, she’s there for you.

A lot of my previous DVDs have been by Kathy Smith and, I must say, the differences in her style versus Jillian’s are, um…profound.

Kathy is like a little ray of sunshine in your day. She encourages you to strive for your best while maintaining a positive and cheerful outlook. Just think! You’ll be peaceful! You’ll be centered! Rainbows! Unicorns!

Jillian, on the other hand, well, there is the whole bitch thing. I think she might just strangle the unicorn and throw his ass over the rainbow if he got in the way of your daily beat-down. Of course, she would do it in the most loving way possible, after all; it’s for your own good.

Anyway. I am sticking with the program because I need a change from my ordinary routine and, really; I like a good bitch.

My thighs thank you, Jillian.

You rotten She Devil.