This Is Why Some Species Eat Their Young

The children have been home a grand total of three days and I have already resorted to threats of bodily harm if they don’t stop bickering with one another right this second.

My parents insist that the children were the picture of sibling affection during the week they spent at their house but, since we have already established that my parents are pod people from the planet Spoilatron, living amongst us for the sole purpose of infiltrating our defense systems one spoiled grandchild at a time; I am hard pressed to believe anything they say.

Besides, the constant arguing over control of the Wii remote, who gets the last Gatorade, whether or not the world is round and which came first-the chicken or the egg - is evidence enough that they are not the well behaved children the Pods would have us all believe, whatever their nefarious purposes.

The good news is; my sister and nephew are scheduled to arrive for a visit any minute now. I’m looking forward to adult conversations on the porch (now with more wine!) and to having a distraction for the children although, with my luck, the monsters will include arguing over who gets to play with their cousin to the repertoire. Lucky us.

In other news, my Tahoe is in the shop. Again. For the same issue that they supposedly fixed a couple of months ago and, this time; it is out of warranty (by less than 1000 miles. Kill me, kill me now). Hugh is under the impression that, since we reported the problem and it was worked on while the warranty was in place, the dealership should honor an extension for the repair, whatever it ends up being. I’m less convinced of that but, since I am the optimist in our relationship; I’m not going to piss on his parade the one time he looks to the positive.

I’ll need all the piss I can muster to pee on his fiery hot meltdown once my fears are realized which, should be anytime between now and 5:00 this evening, when we get a call from the service guys or the shop closes. Whichever comes first.

I am, as you can tell, giddy with anticipation.