Thursday Thirteen, Edition Thirteen:
Thirteen Things I Do That Annoy My Husband
1. Putting my feet in his lap every time he sits at the opposite end of the couch.
2. Pleading with him to rub said feet.
3. Scooping the cat’s litter box and then placing the bag containing the litter in the trashcan in the garage instead of walking the additional fifty steps to the outside trashcan. OHMYGOD! YOU SMELLED UP MY MAN SPACE!
4. When my dirty underwear doesn’t quite make it all the way into the laundry hamper, located inside his closet. Your underwear? It is hanging from the basket. I can see it! OHMYGOD!
5. When I wake up early on the weekends and insist upon messing with him until he wakes up, too.
6. And, when by “messing with him”, I don’t mean engaging in the time-honored rituals of looove; that, I imagine he would wake up for (not that I’m willing to test the theory anytime soon, Dad).
7. When I weed my flowerbeds and, rather than immediately throwing the weeds on the burn pile, I throw them onto his grass where, according to him; they instantaneously seed, thus festering into a lawn full of weeds.
8. The fact that, every once in a great while, I forget to clean my hair out of the drain in the shower. God forbid the hair touches his delicate feet.
9. When I bake banana bread or brownies…and they have nuts in them. Nuts! OHMYGOD! Who puts nuts in brownies?!
10. The fact that, sometimes, I correct his grammar. It’s an illness!
11. The fact that I like to sleep on my side, in the fetal position, which often means that my knees are pressing into his back really, really hard. Dude, I am asleep, I am not trying to cause you pain.
12. My “nasty habit” of picking up his discarded ice tea glasses and putting them in gasp! the dishwasher. Who does that?!
13. My hogging of the computer, which I am doing right now as he paces impatiently up and down the hallway. Perhaps I should wrap this up; I’m sure there are iced tea glasses on the kitchen counter that need to be put in the dishwasher and weeds in my flowers beds, weeds with which I may litter the man’s lawn.
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