Like The Fray Says, You Can Never Say Never

Scene: Our home circa 2001. The Teenager, then a round-faced pre-schooler, begs for a pet.

The Teenager: Another dog?

Mean Mommy: No way, we have three.

The Teenager: Another cat?

Mean Mommy: Nope, wouldn’t be fair to Gilligan.

The Teenager: Horse?

Mean Mommy: Nowhere to keep one.

The Teenager: Unicorn?

Mean Mommy: If you can find one, you’re welcome to it.

The Teenager: Frog?

Mean Mommy: Do you really want a frog? I didn’t think so.

The Teenager: Rabbit?

Mean Mommy: I wouldn’t want one as a pet but I hear they are delicious. What? Come on, now; don’t cry.

The Teenager: A mouse? Just a tiny little one that doesn’t eat very much cheese?

Mean Mommy: Over my dead body.

Flash forward to present day.

Meet Honey, The Teenager’s science fair project and, dare I say, new pet.

I'd prefer cremation over burial, please.