Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Careful What You Ask For

"It’s too warm; it doesn’t feel like winter, I can’t wear my cute coats, waaaaa…."

Karma has bitch-slapped me in the face with temperatures hovering around 12 degrees. Oh, I’m definitely wearing those cute coats now. And long underwear. You know what wearing multiple layers underneath skinny jeans does to your already too large ass? It’s not pretty.

Also not a pretty sight: my neighbor just came out her front door wearing nothing but a coat and her underwear. There is a lot I will do for my dog but, standing outside in my skivvies and a parka while he attends to the call of nature is not one of them. Oh, wait, she just picked a wedgie. Said wedgie appears to be a pair of tiny shorts so; she’s not just wearing underwear after all.

Ok, my ass has grown recently but at least it isn’t eating my apparel. Yet.

On that note, I’ve made a plan to start running again. Actually, I’m going to start by walking and work my way up to running rather than starting off with the running and injuring myself like I always do. So, I may have gained some wisdom along with the fat; fat ain't all bad, I guess.

Also, an extra layer of fat is necessary when combating the effects of frigid winter temperatures.

This is an excellent reason to start bitching about the cold, thus creating a void into which Karma will step with a heat wave. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works, anyway.

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