The kids and I are thoroughly enjoying our time in Mayberry. Why, just the other night Aunt Jules and I took them to the movies. What's that? What movie did we see? It was mumblemumbleBadTeachermumblemumble.
Please stop shrieking in parental outrage.
In my defense, I didn't know it would be quite as raunchy as it ended up being. And, I mean, it wasn't that bad; it's no The Hangover 2 or anything. In fact, each time something less than appropriate happened onscreen and Jules leaned over to whisper "Parent of the freaking year" in my ear, I reminded her that, until Cameron Diaz whipped out a dick, I was still winning in the "Not Quite As Bad a Parent as Hugh" contest and, since Ms. Diaz never did whip out a dick; I stand by that statement.
Ok, not really.
Gah. Now I know how poor Charlie Sheen must feel.