Monday, December 24, 2012

Dear Santa,

I know it's pretty last minute, but, if you could find it in your heart to bring me a new spare refrigerator, I would really appreciate it. Or, you know, if the mechanics division of the workshop could spare an elf or two to fix my old spare refrigerator, that would be just as good.

If neither of those things are possible, and, I totally understand if they aren't; then would you mind sparing me and my family any sort of food poisoning tomorrow? Because the turkey and cheesecake both spent quite a bit of time in that fridge and I'm not 100% sure how cold they stayed.

On the bright side, the length of time that it took the turkey to thaw in that fridge would indicate that it was in working order until just recently, and, by recently, I mean sometime this morning.

I'm basing that guess on the fact that the two dozen farm eggs that were also in the fridge were still quite cool when the Man-Cub pressed one to the back of my neck in an effort to convince me that: "the fridge is, too, keeping things cold, motherrr" (insert disgusted sigh and an eyeroll).

That, however,  is crazy talk, because, I am a pretty good judge of cold vs. not cold; I've been cold-blooded all my life  and I know from cold, yo.

Anywaaayy...I really would appreciate your assistance in this manner, and, as a show of good faith, I am leaving you a plate of cookies tonight. I would include a nice cold glass of milk, but, the milk was in the spare fridge and I'm not willing to risk poisoning you, Santa Claus.

Pretty sure that poisoning you would land me on the naughty list forever, and, we can't have that.

Love, Chelle

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