Monday, September 10, 2007

Maybe It Should Have Been the Final Nail in the Tooth Fairy’s Coffin

The Man-Cub lost another baby tooth at school on Friday and I forgot to leave money under his pillow that night.

Parent. Of. The. Fucking. Year. People.

And, I have no good excuse, Hugh had taken the kids to a football game at the high school, leaving me to enjoy a quiet evening alone and, I fell asleep on the couch. When they arrived home and woke me up, my throat was sore, my head ached and I decided to take myself to bed; totally spacing that the fact that the Cub had even lost a tooth that day.

The crest-fallen look on his face then next morning as he came down the stairs clutching the small zip-lock baggie containing his tiny little tooth is an image that I will carry with me until the day that I die. Seriously, I might as well look up the number for a good therapist right now because I will never recover.

At the sight of my obvious emotional fragility; Hugh took the reigns by assuring the Cub that there had to be a good explanation and that he was sure we would hear from the Fairy that night. That seemed to mollify the Cub somewhat and, you can bet your ass; I was on the computer in record time, printing out an apology letter.

I thanked God that I had saved the template that I had made for Tooth Fairy letterhead during that whole tooth buy-back debacle with The Girl a few years back and I printed that bitch off in record speed, not realizing that it would come back to bite me in the ass harder than a pitbull with distemper.

Because, Sunday morning when the Cub found the letter rolled up and tied to a five-dollar bill, he seemed to feel better about the whole thing. And, so did I, until; he excitedly pointed out that the Fairy was kind enough to include her email address on the letterhead. Email! Now he can totally write to the Tooth Fairy and, naturally, she will write back! Pen-pals, mom! Awesome!

Clearly, this is the punishment I get for going to such great lengths to perpetuate a lie.

Kill me. Kill me now.


  1. Have fun with that!

  2. I had to come up with a system where THE MINUTE the tooth falls out, I write "TOOTH FAIRY" on a piece of paper and put it on top of the vitamins I take before going to bed. Otherwise I would forget EVERY TIME.

    If I ever DO forget, it's that the Tooth Fairy sometimes has an extra-large number of teeth to pick up, and can't get to all of them that first night.

  3. Too funny. Are you going to post the first exchange of emails between the Cub and the Tooth Fairy? It could be a self writing entry!!

  4. I want to see the emails exchanged between the cub and the tooth fairy!!

  5. bwahahaha

    you should have said the tooth fairy got all caught up at the football game and fell behind schedule.