Thursday, June 05, 2008

Complaint Department, Now Open

The blankets came out again at last night’s baseball game which, considering how warm the weather was for Monday night’s game, sucked. Like, really sucked. We are talking sweaty donkey- balls-suckage, here.

For one thing, it is June as in, summertime; we should not be freezing, we should be sweating (or, in my case, glowing). For another thing, the cold weather gets into my joints and causes me no end of back pain and aching; I just cannot get comfortable and it annoys the crap out of me and, yes; I am eight hundred years old, where is my lap robe and my walking stick, sonny? Plus, it cannot be good for my flowers and vegetables to go from a high of ninety down to the low sixties in the course of a day; no wonder my gardening efforts are likewise sucking sweaty donkey balls.

Anywaaay…back to the game; when I was still cold, despite the blankets, The Girl offered to run to the diner for coffee and I was more than happy to take her up on it. She also took orders from the other mothers who were brave enough to watch the game from the bleachers rather than from the relative warmth of their cars and thus ended up returning from the diner with a drink carrier chock-full of caffeinated goodness for which we were all suitably grateful.

At this point I should probably mention that we finally got The Girl’s end-of-year grades and I am proud to report that she pulled in all A’s and B’s which, factoring in her considerable trouble with math; was quite an achievement. In the interest of full disclosure, I should also mention that she was tardy 22 times. Twenty-two times; no wonder she was on a first-name basis with the detention monitor.

Of course, despite her inability to arrive at class on time, we are very proud of her and; not just because she fetches coffee for her poor, aching, old lady of a mother.

Speaking of aching; Wii hula-hoop kicked my ass. I would be embarrassed to admit that were it not for the fact that it kicked Hugh’s ass ever so much harder. If I am old and decrepit before my time, at least I am in good company.


  1. I just love the multiple usages of the term "sweaty donkey balls" here. It's a phrase that does NOT get enough airtime, in my opinion.

  2. Did you get the Wii fit? or is it another game?