He's Going to Make Someone a Fine Wife, One Day

Someone doesn’t want you to see these pictures.

Someone doesn’t want you to know that he spends his morning washing dishes in his lounging pants and pink dishwashing gloves while watching Live with Regis and Kelly.

Someone would have you think that this is a random occurrence; happening only because he needed to wash the parts to his electric meat grinder; the meat grinder that he used to grind up the giant elk that he stalked through the woods, killed, and from which he took the still-beating heart. With his bare hands.

As men do.

I, personally, want you to know that real men aren’t afraid to wear pink dishwashing gloves, nor are they afraid to, you know, wash a dish on occasion.

I cannot, however, defend him on the whole Regis and Kelly thing, though; that’s just girlie.