Men May Be From Mars but, Little Boys Must Vacation on Venus

Yesterday, I chaperoned our Cub Scout pack’s annual sledding trip. Since there are so many Scouts and we don't have a bus, several parents volunteered to carpool. Thus I was charged with taking the Man-Cub and four other boys to the recreation area, a trip of about twenty-five minutes.

A girl can learn a lot in twenty-five minutes. For instance, did you know that you can identify what type of bears are in the woods simply by examining their poop? I did not know that.

I also learned that little boys are far less phobic of commitment than their older brethren appear to be, in fact, all five boys in my charge discussed, at great length, just how fabulous their weddings are going to be, seriously; ice sculptures! Horse-drawn carriages! Doves, for crying out loud. Plus, I learned that each boy already has his eye on his future Mrs., including the Man-Cub who has developed a mad crush on the little sister of one of The Girl’s friends.

Since the other four boys in the car consisted of two sets of brothers, you can imagine the teasing that went on during the conversation. My favorite part was when one of the brothers outed the other’s crush on, gasp, their cousin. It was totally scandalous until the outed brother whined “She’s not our real cousin, dummy!” (They are adopted so, technically, he’s right and his looove may continue, unchallenged by polite society).

It was, obviously, a very interesting car ride; the conversation almost made one forget the smell of five small boys in one enclosed space. Almost.

But, really, the most memorable part of the conversation occurred on the way home when the boys were discussing the price of gas (such a grown-up topic, I know!) and one of the boys-he of the Love That Dare Not Speak its Name-totally recommended that they watch this “really neat show”; it’s from the Great Depression when gas only cost fifty cents and it’s called Happy Days.

And I say that is the most memorable part of the conversation because that is when my head exploded; the Fonz would be most displeased.