Bradley Cooper is My New Fantasy Boyfriend or: How I Spent the Entire Weekend in a Movie Theater

Hugh, the kids and I set a personal family record for the Most Trips to the Movies this weekend with three film viewings under our belt. We didn’t set out to tackle the feat, it just sort of happened that way.

Friday evening, following a visit to my favorite masseuse (Lord, was I tied up in all sorts of knots-it took her the better part of our 90 minute session just to get my back and shoulders loosened up), Hugh, the kids and I decided to brave the crowds for Transformers II. And, by brave the crowd, I mean we braved the idiot parents who think it's a good idea to drag their infants and/or toddlers to a PG-13 movie, the Loud Talkers who inevitably wind up sitting right behind me, the Mouth Breathers who will find me in the most crowded of theaters and the Spanish-speaking families who designate one member as Official Movie Translator and then depend on him to coach them through the entire film. LOUDLY.

Yep, met them all Friday night.

And, you know, while I found them all annoying, special mention goes to those parents of infants and toddlers who, after dragging said babies to a movie certain to contain violent fight scenes, car chases, and, you know, really LOUD sound effects, have the audacity to look offended when the theater manager asks them to remove their screaming offspring from the theater because, The noise! It scared little Billy, of course he’s going to cry.

Honestly? I have two words for you: Drive-In.

Anyhoodle, despite the less-than-courteous company, the movie was very entertaining. It won’t win any awards for cinematic excellence but, I rarely go the theater to see those movies, anyway.

Which is a statement supported by the fact that, on Saturday night; Hugh and I went back to the theater to see The Hangover and, after enjoying it so much (Bradley Cooper, yummm-ay); decided to stick around for the nine o’clock showing of The Proposal.

What can I say? The Teenager was watching the Man-Cub and, we hadn’t been to the movies alone together in quite some time (if we couldn’t find a babysitter, we didn’t go to the movies when the children were small see above: Idiots, paragraphs Two and Four of this document) so; we indulged ourselves.

And, speaking of indulgences, despite my best efforts to resist the siren call of movie popcorn and candy, they comprised a large portion of my diet this weekend. On the other hand, due to the combination of boxing, running and the onslaught of summer heat, I did lose four pounds last week so; a few Milk Duds here and there shouldn’t completely derail my efforts at attaining The Skinny.

Unless, of course, I make three-movie marathon weekends a more frequent part of our summer itinerary and, if there are any more movies out there staring Bradley Cooper, that just might have to happen.

I doubt it but; a girl can dream.