Conversations from the Porch 2009 Edition

Man-Cub: Mom! It says here that I’m not supposed to drive. I can’t drive, I’m ten! (Said while shaking his head in amusement after Hugh read him his post op instructions from the hospital)

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Chelle: Did you happen to read him the part about how, while he can’t drive, he’s totally cleared for having sex whenever he feels up to it?

Hugh: Nah, I figured I’d skip that part.

Chelle: Well, at least we know it won’t be in the back seat of a car, seeing as he can’t drive and all.

Hugh: Oh, I don’t know, it says right here that he can be a passenger in a car. Now, all he needs is a hot ten year old who hasn’t had a recent appendectomy.

Chelle: Great, I feel so much better now.

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The Teenager: Look, Mom; its ten o’clock and you’re still awake.

Chelle: (Silent death stare)

The Teenager: What?!

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Chelle: If that child rolls her eyes at me one more time, I swear I’m going to pop them out and use them for click-clacks.

Hugh: Don’t be ridiculous; eyeballs wouldn’t make the right clacking noise.

Chelle: (Silent death stare)

Hugh: Ok, maybe they would, what do I know? Please don’t hurt me.