When is a Butternut Squash Plant Not a Butternut Squash Plant?

When it is a freaking spaghetti squash plant, that’s when. And, while a spaghetti squash plant is perfectly fine in theory, it isn’t so grand when one is expecting butternut squash to grow on it, godamnit.

So, yeah, this spring I bought a couple of lovely butternut squash plants from the nursery, brought them home, planted them, nurtured them with my blood, sweat and tears and, just when I thought it was time to peer amongst the large trailing leaves, in search of the first butternut, what do I find? Three ginormous spaghetti squashes. Like ginormous. HUGE. I could not have done a better job as a spaghetti squash farmer if I had tried. Alas, as I just spent the last paragraph or so explaining; I did not try.

And, now I am butternutless.

In other woeful news, I took The Teenager to the clinic yesterday for her sports physical. The lovely PA there informed me that the child appears to be in the earliest stages of scoliosis and, you know, when we wished for a child who was ahead of the curve, this is not what we intended.

Monday, we have an appointment to see our regular pediatrician for a second opinion and to discuss options in the event that her spine is, indeed, curving or, if she just has really bad posture. (Fingers crossed!).

From everything that I have read on the Internets-thank you, Dr. Google-we are probably looking at some physical therapy. On the off chance that it is more serious than it looks on the outside, The Teenager could just get her wish for braces-although not at all the way that she had hoped.

Because I am soooo good at dealing with unpleasant issues, I have decided to take the Wait and See approach and not to worry until Monday. In the meantime, I fully intend to take my anxiety out on the owner of the nursery where I purchased the butternut imposters.

I might even write a very strongly worded letter.

Because I am just that bad ass.

(And, not at all worried that my precious daughter is evolving into a better-dressed teenaged version of Igor, Really. I mean it. Not worried at all. Hey, spaghetti squash, anyone?)