Monday, October 05, 2009

You'll Never Roam Alone

Hugh and I returned from Salt Lake City last night. Upon our arrival, we encountered some major domestic drama but, I'll get to that later. Meanwhile, let me tell you how much we enjoyed our trip.

First of all, I have to say that the city of Salt Lake is one of the nicer cities that we have visited. It is clean, easy to navigate and the people are extremely friendly and courteous so, good job Salt Lake City, keep up the good work!

That said, I should also mention that the toilet paper in public restrooms in Salt Lake City is the thinnest toilet paper I have ever encountered in my life and, people, I have used a lot of toilet paper. Seriously, in Salt Lake City? You could read the newspaper print through the toilet paper. I'm just saying.

I forgive SLC for that, however because I can also honestly say that I got carded in Salt Lake City!! Carded! Like an adolescent! Granted, it was in an adult lingerie store and not in a liquor store but, carded is carded, people!

Also, yes; I was in an adult lingerie store, what of it? Hugh was with me and, for the record, while he also got carded (silly state law), I have no doubt that they were just doing it to make him feel good about himself whereas they carded me because I look far to young to be perusing crotchless panties and titty-tassles (which is in no way, shape or form what I was looking for, I was looking for a particular brand of shaving cream that one of our employees told me about; the cream is rumored to prevent nicks and razor burn. I swear, that's why we were there. Also, the store was right next to our hotel and we had some time to kill. And now you are thnking, "mmmhmm, I think she doth protest too much"so, shutting up now).

Anywaaay...Salt Lake City is nice.

Also nice was the outdoor decor vendor at the market who gave Hugh this fabulous roaming gnome

Jerome, the roaming gnome, to be precise. Jerome, Hugh and I had many fabulous adventures in Salt Lake City. Here he is waiting for Hugh to finish up some business at the market so that we can all go sight-seeing.

And, here he is enjoying the Mormon temple. Notice how his hat mimicks the shape of the tower-thingies on the temple? Yeah, he though that was cool, too.

Here he is posing with a few of his favorite celebrities who happened to be in town for some fashion event.

(Don't tell Kelly but, this is really his favorite.)

After dragging Jerome away from his idols, we did some in-depth shopping for Halloween, specifically for the haunted house that Hugh is planning and then, we grabbed a quick lunch at a local greasy spoon.

Jerome waited in the car like a good little gnome.

Lunch provided us with a conversation that I found rather humorous; Hugh, as many people know, is a devout hater of all things blue cheese so, when I ordered a salad with blue cheese dressing, he was less than impressed.

Hugh: Gahhh!!! Gross!
Chelle: I'm going to eat this blue cheese and then I am going to kiss you. With tongue.
Hugh: And I will proceed to vomit in your mouth.
Chelle: Which will, in turn, cause me to vomit into your mouth, thus causing you to taste the delicious pleasure of blue cheese twice.
Hugh: You suck.

Aaand I win.

After lunch, we headed home where we were greeted by the children who, despite numerous texts and phone calls this weekend, still seemed to have missed us (the feeling was mutual).

Sadly, just as the kids were getting ready for bed, The Teenager discovered that Honey the mouse was  not doing well. Within minutes of the discovery, Honey was dead and we had an emotionally distraught child on our hands.

Godamn mouse.

We consoled The Teen as best we could and I promised a trip to Petco today for a replacement mouse and the bastard had better live long enough to see the spring science fair which, can't come a moment too soon, as far as I am concerned.

Hey! You know what would pick up The Teenager's spirits? A photo of Jerome in a cage full of mice!

Yeah, I might just have to look into that.


  1. love seeing jerome out and about...that is hilarious

  2. I call for MORE pictures of Jerome the Gnome!