Monday, February 26, 2018

Sante Fe

Thursday morning, I awoke to three inches of snow. Because, of course I did!

Before leaving, I had a 9:00 meeting to attend. I figured that I would check the road conditions once the meeting was over, to determine which route I would be taking to Sante Fe because, screw you, Mother Nature! I was going to see my Girls.

I had initially planned to take a southern route (over one of the most treacherous passes in Colorado) to meet up with three of The Girls, at which point we would continue the journey together, but, Mother Nature wasn't having it. So, I ended up taking the route through my hometown, which was safer, but lonelier.

Once I arrived in Sante Fe, I checked into the resort (La Posada de Sante Fe) and waited for the rest of The Girls to arrive. While I waited, Phoebe and I chatted on the phone (she wasn't able to get away from work until Friday) and we kept in touch with the rest of the group on Facebook Messenger, which is how we knew that they initially went to the wrong hotel (never gonna let them live that one down!) before finally arriving at our room.

Once they did arrive, we hit the lounge for margaritas in honor of National Margarita Day. We laughed and joked and were our usual obnoxious selves, shutting down the bar after accidentally clearing it out with an unfortunately timed comment about anal sex (it was one of those awkward moments when a previously loud bar crowd gets unusually quiet just as you say something completely mortifying while still shouting to be heard above the noise. Yeah, one of those moments).

There was really no good way to follow up that stellar moment, so, we retired to our room, where we laughed until well after midnight.

The following morning, we grabbed breakfast at a little restaurant called Tia Sophias, stuffing ourselves full of breakfast burrittos and huevos rancheros before waddling back to the resort, where we mixed up some mimosas and settled in on the patio outside our room to wait for Phoebe to arrive.

Once she did arrive, we walked to the town square for site-seeing, stopping first at the famous Cathedral of Saint Francis of Assisi, where, despite our initial concerns, lightning did not strike us all dead for our sins (this was mostly a concern for Jules and Tee;).

 Phoebe and Jules, waiting for the lightning bolt

 Tee. NOT On fire

 Thank you, Jesus

Since none of us had been struck down, we chanced it a second time, stopping at the Loretto Chapel, where we saw the famous "mysterious" staircase.

Then, feeling virtuous, we ambled about the square, searching for the perfect dirty martini for Tee. As one does following the lighting of candles in a church, I mean, obviously.

Had we known that finding that perfect dirty martini would take stopping at three different bars, one of which was a complete and total dive, where we couldn't even get the bartender to acknowledge us, let alone serve us (Crow Bar, I'm looking at you), we might have lit an extra candle, asking for patience and fortitude.

Oh, dirty martini, where for art thou?

On the bright side, by the time we found the right bar, we had already sampled several other drinks as well as a plate of nachos reminiscent of the nachos we used to eat during college. Plus, we had ample opportunity to make fun of our general lack of map knowledge and the fact that three-out-of-five of us are severely directionally challenged.

We capped off that night with drinks back in the room in front of the fire in the kiva fireplace, finally calling it a night. At 10:00. Because we are old.

Saturday morning, we slept in, finally rising just in time to make it to our 10:00 spa appointments. I had an 80 minute Swedish massage, followed by a pedicure, while the rest of The Girls sampled facials, pedicures, and oxygen massages (note from Phoebe: Skip the oxygen part of the massage, it's a waste of money). It was a relaxing way to spend the morning and better part of the early afternoon.

For dinner that evening, we went to La Fonda, where we once again managed to mortify the waitstaff with an unintended, but definitely inappropriate, act that may or may not have involved one member of our party licking another member's finger while making a suggestive comment. As one does when dining at a fine restaurant.

Please note the absence of any waitstaff, whatsoever

Later that night, Jules and I finally brought Reece and Phoebe into this century by connecting them to Snapchat. We now have a Snapchat group, aptly named Awesome Bitchez, with which to keep in touch.

My life is complete.

On Sunday, following another amazing breakfast at Tia Sophias, we said our goodbyes.

 Girls Weekend, where your parting gift is a bottle of wine. Or, three. Whatever

This is always the hardest part, but, we left one another with plans to see each other again, soon. We are planning a beach getaway for the next time, which, means that Mother Nature will drum up a hurricane or a typhoon or some other such bullshit, I'm sure.

Anyway, I'm back at the grind today, with hardware store duties calling my name. I also really need to get back on the treadmill since, thanks to the great food (and, numerous alcoholic beverages) I consumed, I am now carrying a food baby verging on nine pounds.

I wonder if it's a boy or a girl?

Who am I kidding? It's a burrito.

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