Circle Back

It occurs to me that there has been a lot going on here in Petticoat Junction for which I have shared very little information, so, in the ridiculously overused words of the press secretary for the current administration; I’ll need to circle back.

Item #1

A month or so ago, Hugh decided to go back to school. Well, technically, it’s an EMT class, but; that counts. He now attends class every Tuesday and Thursday night plus every other Saturday. Despite having a perfectly good office, he has turned my dining room into his personal classroom (I’m not throwing shade, since I, too, have an office, yet; spend the majority of my time on my computer on the couch).

The decision to take the class was somehow spurred by his crew on the ambulance. Wait; have I mentioned that he has been taking on-call shifts driving the ambulance? No? Let me circle back.

So, this summer, Hugh was approached by the Petticoat Junction ambulance crew and asked to fill an on-call position for transfers between hospitals in the area. Since retiring from law enforcement, he had missed the adrenaline shot caused by midnight pages; so, he jumped at the chance (I will throw shade at this decision all day long as we share the adrenaline shot caused by midnight pages and I struggle mightily to sleep through the night as it is, but; I’ll circle back to that in a minute).

I’m not sure what direction he is planning to go in once his EMT training is complete, but; wouldn’t be surprised to see him pick up some shifts on the ambulance in addition to his on-call shifts as a driver. How that will fit in with his refereeing schedule is a question I have not yet asked, nor am I clear on how it will affect the time he has available for his actual job (you know, the family-owned hardware store where I go to work every morning before dawn, as well as every Sunday? Yeah, that one). I’ll look into it and circle back.

Item #2

Circling back to the topic of my sleeping patterns, or, in this case, my non-sleeping patterns; I can report that I have gone for a full year without sleeping through the night. It’s actually probably a lot longer than that, but; my brain has shrunken to the point where my long-term memory has been erased. Sleep deprivation will absolutely shrink your brain; I will do some research into the science and circle back. In the meantime, suffice it to say that I am tired. Very, very tired.

Item #3

I recently tried the tomato/feta/pasta recipe that is all the rage on social media and can report (without circling back) that it really is worth all the hype. For one thing, it’s super easy. It’s also fairly healthy (I used a lowfat feta). The only downside that I’ve heard is the lack of feta available in some areas; we don’t currently have that problem in my nearby markets, so I can’t complain.

Item #4

My long-time hair colorist broke up with me last month. Apparently, she actually wants to spend more time with her kid (the nerve, am I right?). She referred me to another colorist in the salon and I saw her for the first time this week. I have mixed feelings about continuing as her client and am going to have to weigh the pros and cons before I make a solid decision. As of now, the biggest pro is the fact that she gives an amazing head, scalp, and neck massage. I mean, It. Is. Amazing. She washes the color out of the hair, applies conditioner, and then massages for a full ten minutes or so before rinsing the conditioner and wrapping your head in a warm towel. That, right there, would have convinced me to stay with her for life, but, and this is the biggest con that I can identify right now; she referred to the color of my hair as “mushroom brown”.

I…I mean…what?

She said it in a way that I think was meant to be complimentary, but…I will forever picture fungi growing from my scalp, now. I’m just not sure I can get past that. I’ll give it some more thought and circle back with my decision.

Anyhoodle, that’s about it for today’s news conference, I mean, post. If I think of anything that I missed, be assured I will…wait for it…circle back.