Thursday, March 18, 2021

Perimenopause Diaries: WTF Edition

You know the OSHA workplace safety counter signs that you see in some workplaces? Like 265 Days Incident Free...? Those signs? Well, prior to last week, my sign would have said 240 Period Free.


I had to reset the counter to zero.

Eight months! I was eight months period free! Four more months and I could have put a period on the end of this whole perimenopause bullshit (pun intended) and declare myself fully menopausal (which, I know comes with it's own host of unpleasant side effects, but; at this point, I'm willing to trade insanity for osteoporosis)! 

I was so close!


Now, I will have to live through the anxiety, sleeplessness, hot flashing, depression, rage, and moodiness that I dealt with for the past year or more for who knows how much longer.


I have officially thrown in the towel when it comes to muddling through this bullshit on my own and I have scheduled an appointment with a functional medicine practice in Neighboring City. The doctor there specializes in bioidentical hormones and comes highly recommended by several of my friends. I am hopeful that he won't take one look at my family medical history and declare me ineligible for his services. 

If he accepts me as a patient, I am willing to risk the possibility that the HRT will drive up my chances of breast cancer and blood clots as long as it also provides even a modicum of relief from the symptoms that I have been experiencing since I started on this stupid journey about six years ago (average duration of perimenopause is four years; I am an overachiever in every possible way that one would wish to, you know, under-perform).  In addition to the possible risks associated with the treatment, I will also be paying out of pocket for the entire thing because the doctor does not accept insurance, which, sucks. But, again, if I get some relief and am able to return to being a fully functioning human being again; it will be well worth it.

In the meantime, I rearranged my office at New Job (soon to be rebranded as Not-So-New Job) to allow me to see this sign multiple times a day...

 Maybe. Maybe not. Some days, yes. Some days, no. But, I'm working on it, everyday.

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