At Least It Wasn’t Lice
The Man-Cub has ringworm; a fact that we discovered only after we allowed him to wrestle at the tournament on Saturday.
Parents of the Year! You heard it here, first.
The Man-Cub, you should know, is convinced that he caught the condition from the girl that he had to wrestle on Saturday. Yes, I said; girl. And, while I am all about the equal rights between the sexes and civil liberties and crashing the glass ceiling and all, you will just have to excuse me for not fully embracing the idea of girls wrestling as a sport. I just….don’t like it.
That said; I’m relatively certain that young Norma Rae did not, in fact, infect my son with the ringworm. The fact that it might have been the other way around, and that the Cub may have infected her; fills me with parental guilt. But, you know, if you’re going to play with the boys, I guess you can’t be too surprised when you develop strange boy-like rashes.
So, as I said, we discovered the tell-tale signs of the ringworm upon our return home from the wrestling tournament. Since I know absolutely nothing about ringworm and, being somewhat skeptical of Hugh’s purported knowledge of the condition, I did the responsible thing and consulted an expert.
You can imagine my relief upon receiving Dr. Google’s assurances that the condition is caused by a common virus and not by a tunnel-burrowing parasite as I had feared. Not that I wouldn’t love the boy just as much if he were infested with parasites, I’m just saying.
And, speaking of parasites, Chantal correctly guessed that I do not, in fact, have a pathological fear of cooties. I’m not saying I like them or would graciously welcome them into my home or anything, but, my fear is healthy and not at all psychologically crippling so, good job, Chantal!
On a related note, I may or may not have developed a pathological fear of ringworm and may or may not spend the next several days bleaching every surface of our home.