Monday, March 12, 2007

I Want My Hour Back!

I hate daylight saving time as a rule and, this year, I get to hate it an entire month early. Way to go Big Brother!

Having an entire hour of my beauty rest stolen from me this morning made me quite cranky. Can you tell? Also, I am still sick. My head cold has entered the Can’t Breath portion of the program and, apparently, oxygen is vital to one’s good mood. I know, I was all like, really? too.

Despite the fact that my sinuses are knocking on Death’s door, I had a really good weekend. The Man-Cub took first place at the wrestling tournament on Saturday and he didn’t have to wrestle a single girl. One of his friends was not so lucky and, the girl pinned him which, I assure you, is the epitome of shame among the second-grade wrestling set. It’s ok, though, the other boys talked the poor kid through the crisis and I’m fairly confident his psyche will make a full recovery.

We don't harbor such optimism for his father's psyche but, we did start a collection drive for his continued therapy so, maybe there is some hope.

Anyway, once the Man-Cub had collected his gold medal and tournament bracket, we went to Neighboring City to look at new cars. I took to heart the lesson that The Girl’s birthday party taught last month which was; never chauffeur a carload of pre-pubescent females without at least a one-seat buffer between you and the madness so, we are in the market for a larger car than what we currently have. And, since we were just, you know, looking; I also prepared a mental list of features that I Could Not Live Without as well as a back-up list of Things It Sure Would Be Nice to Have and, just for kicks, a list of Things That I Would Sell a Kidney to Possess.

Naturally, the demands that I placed upon the poor salesman resulted in us finding not one single car on the entire lot which would suffice. We left the lot empty-handed which, while disappointing, did spare my kidney.

So, the search will continue. We will look for as long as it takes because, if we are going to pay only slightly less for a car than we paid for our first home; we would like to get exactly what we want.

While keeping our internal organs intact.

After crapping out on the car search, we curbed our disappointment by engaging in conspicuous consumption at Sam’s Club; it is amazing what buying an industrial sized supply of Dial soap, the bonus pack of Curel lotion and super-sized bag of teriyaki beef jerky will do to elevate your mood.

Then, on Sunday, instead of beginning my planned clean-up operation of the yard and flower beds, I lazed about on the couch and bitched about my sinuses. So fun!

The kids didn’t mind, they were too busy playing outside on the first genuinely warm and spring-like day that we have had this year. They even took the puppy out and we were all pleased to see him back in enthusiastic puppy form rather than in medicated invalid form. Medicated invalids are such a buzz-kill.

Today, I am hard at work and, I do mean hard. The effort it takes to keep my eyes open given the combination of my shortened REM cycle and the ingestion of the drugs required to allow me to breathe, is monumental. I have considered, and discarded, a number of methods for maintaining consciousness. They include doing strenuous in-office exercise, installing an intravenous caffeine delivery system in my left arm and propping my eyelids open with toothpicks.

I hope the extra hour was worth my personal suffering, Big Brother.

No comments:

Post a Comment